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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to tell a mum at school that her child kicked me!!!

15 replies

JellyBelly10 · 26/11/2010 00:52

I am so outraged that this 6 year old kicked me and really cannot believe that a child would behave like this to an adult...that I am desperate to tell his mother! I have no idea what she would think of it, maybe it's normal in her house for her child to kick her...but he kicked ME!!!!! I am livid!!! The situation was that a boy in DS's class (Y1) was having a birthday tea after school, invited 5 boys including my DS. Long story but my DS is currently off school as has just come out of plaster casts and cannot walk at the moment without crutches, so I brought him from home and stayed at the house in the kitchen with the birthday-boy's mum as my DS needs help getting to the toilet etc. None of the other mums were there (apart from the mother of birthday boy of course).
Anyway, all the boys were in the bedroom of the boy whose birthday it was and after a little while I decided to just check to make sure my DS was ok (as it sounded a bit boisterous in there, and as he's unable to walk at the moment I just wanted to check he was ok). One of the other boys, on seeing me walk into the room, ran over with a really aggressive face, pushed me hard trying to get me out of the room and then kicked me hard in the shin!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hard enough that I now have a bruise and it bloody hurt! He is 6!!!!!!! I simply cannot believe that a child would do that to a grown-up!!! My child would never dream of even being rude to someone else's parent, let lone kick them!! My reaction was to immediately tell him off and then I left the room and expressed my disbelief at what had just happened to the mum of the birthday boy. When, at the end, the mum of the kicking boy came to pick him up I said nothing to her, but feel that she should know that her child kicked me, bloody hard!!!! If my child did that to someone I would want to know. Should I tell her?? Or just let it go??

OP posts:
sunshineriver · 26/11/2010 01:04

Crikey, your reaction was the same as how I would have reacted, though I would have mentioned it to her as soon as I could as I'm really parranoid about telling other people's children off as I hate confrontation and would hate to have some angered mother on my doorstep reading me the riot act about telling her precious off.

I think that I would tell her more to avoid it happening again - perhaps it is something that he is known to do when he thinks that he can get away with it.

You could just tell her that you didn't want to mention it infront of the other parents or something...?

MayorNaze · 26/11/2010 01:13

you should tell Angry

definitely

deep breath, be brave. do it first thing and get it out of the way. good advice to say you didn't want to raise it in front of others. best of luck.

MadamDeathstare · 26/11/2010 02:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 26/11/2010 06:14

Well yes, you should have pulled her aside and told her when she came to pick him up. Of course you should tell her.

onimolap · 26/11/2010 06:58

I would have told her at pick up, not least because the child might tell his mother a rather different version.

Something low key: "We needed to have a word with X because he was kicking" - then expand on it depending on the mother's reaction.

I don't think it would be helpful however for you to go back to her after the event.

And no matter how shocked you remain, you cannot be responsible for the upbringing of an unrelated child. The incident happened, you dealt with it; and I suggest you now let it be.

LittleMissHissyFit · 26/11/2010 10:07

If my DS had done it, I'd want to know. I'd be mortified, and am not entirely sure how I'd actually deal with it, but I'd want to know.

Give her a ring and say, dunno how to say this, have been struggling with it, don't want to make a fuss of it, told him off at the time, but I'd want to know if this was my boy... and just tell her. Make sure she knows you are not blaming her, and she ought not to 'kick off' as it were [sorry]

the little bugger

2shoes · 26/11/2010 10:13

i would tell his parent

SaggyHairyArse · 26/11/2010 10:22

If I was hosting the party I would have said that x (you) told off y (boy) because of z (kicking).

If the host didn't mention it then I would have done if I was in your shoes in front of the boy in a "Just wanted to let you know that I had words with your son because he kicked me when I went to check up on the boys, thought best tell you incase he said I told him off but didn't explain why".

Some kids are on their best behaviour at other peoples houses, some do their utmost to rage against the machine (usually the ones with mega strict parents in my limited experience), I don't think it really means anything or is any indicator on personality.

LoopyLoops · 26/11/2010 11:10

Why on earth didn't you say something at the time? Or why didn't the birthday boy's mum?

JellyBelly10 · 26/11/2010 12:40

I think the reason I didn't say anything when she turned up to collect him was because we were at someone else's house. I'm sure that makes no sense at all, but if he had been at my house I would have told her as soon as she arrived. But yes, I should have told her when she turned up, soon after it happened.
So today at school I dropped my younger one at the nursery and saw the mother of kicking-boy so I ran after her and asked for a quick word. I explained that I just wanted to let her know that I had had to tell her DS off yesterday but didn't say anything when she arrived as didn't want to embarrass her in front of the other mums. I told her what had happened, that he had kicked me etc and that I had told him off quite sternly and that I just wanted her to know.
She looked remarkably unsurprised and said "oh, sorry about that, thanks for letting me know." and that was it...as if I had just told her that her child had dropped his school bag! Oh well, at least I got if off my chest!!

OP posts:
MayorNaze · 26/11/2010 15:33

well done :)

MadamDeathstare · 26/11/2010 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ragged · 26/11/2010 16:54

Me too MadamDeathStare.

DS2 has poor impulse control and I can almost understand him doing something exactly like child in OP. (sigh) This is one of the reasons I dare not let him go to Beavers (or most clubs, really)

wotnochocs · 26/11/2010 16:58

You definitely need to tell her! If teh boot was on the other foot (pardon the pun) wouldn't you want to know about it!

thisisyesterday · 26/11/2010 17:00

i think it's too late now. if you were going to say anything you should have said it at the time

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