to think kids don't have to have what they ask for for Christmas?!

[MrsGravy]

Just read this on someone's status on the evil Facebook. She's buying something very expensive for her kids because 'they have to have what they ask for'.

I must confess I tend to veto most of what my nearly 4 and 6 year old want as it's often age inappropriate/cheap crap/too expensive/something they won't play with etc etc. Am I mean and awful? I'm confident that they will love what I get them even if they didn't think to ask for it themselves!!

Once I got lots of things, but not much from my list. Mum asked me if I liked the presents, I said "yes, but they weren't what I asked for."

My mum made me put all my new presents in the front room so father Christmas could take them away again because I was so ungrateful.
I remember sobbing my heart out while I put the stuff into the other room.

I certainly learnt my lesson. Be grateful for what you get even if it's not what you ask for. It's a good lesson to learn IMO

Another household without Christmas lists here. And the only letter to FC is a sweetly optimistic 'thank you, safe trip' note left on the hearth with the port, mince pies and carrot.....

WE always say "you are letting Father Christmas know the kind of thing you like to give him some ideas" and make it clear that they only get one Very Big Present.

MrsChemist good on your mum! Did he collect them or did he allow you to keep them when you learnt to be a bit more grateful?! I'll remember that one for when my spoilt brat much loved neice vists!

clenched you have reminded me, from the "sweetly optimistic" comment, about the year that we wrote the thank you letter and dd (about 3 at the time) asked in a desperate panic "What if he doesnt come?". I think she thought that it was tempting fate to leave the thank you before receiving the gift! Etiquette-wise it does stink a bit, but I managed to talk her around!

Well, I think your mum was harsh, MrsChemist, you can't ask children to make a list (which they are obviously going to think means they are getting some of the things on the list) and then put all the presents in the other room if they like them, but point out they are not the ones on the list!

That's why i don't do lists.

YANBU. If I'm honest I don't particularly like the whole Xmas list thing at all! IMO Xmas presents are more about the choosing and giving than about the receiving. I love seeing the faces on my family when they open something that I chose, they'd never even thought of it but they love it.

That's not to say I don't ask them what they'd like (my eldest is only 3 so this hasn't happened yet but we ask DH's kids)

If we can't afford it we tell them asap so as not to get their hopes up, but generally they would get one thing they asked for and the rest would be surprises. And I have to smugly say that the presents they DIDN'T ask for are always the more loved!

Next year DD will be old enough to choose something but we will only ask in passing - if it's not on their mind (ie they have to struggle to choose something just for the sake of it) then they can't want it that much. IMO.

I was allowed to keep them after I had apologised.

It was a bit harsh, I was about 5/6. My mum has a bit of a short fuse sometimes, and was probably incredibly offended by what I said. I did learn my lesson though, and it very quickly made me realise that I did want my presents, even if they weren't ones I asked for.

YANBU

I was considering Zhu Zhu pets my DD has asked for and I actually think they are TAT so no, she wont be getting them. There is enough TAT in this house.

Having now read all the posts on here I am pleased to see other households don't do Xmas/Santa lists. I had been considering starting an "AIBU not to get my DCs to write Xmas lists" thread but thought I'd get the uber-flaming.

mummytoatribe -

Yes, DC have worried that it might seem a bit cheeky...

Christmas lists are wishlists, not order forms.

Nothing wrong with a wishlist, imo (besides anything that gets ds physically writing is a Good Thing).

My Mum was brilliant at finding things for me that it hadn't occured to me I'd like. Hopefully ds feels the same about the things we find for him :)

I agree with the wishlist concept. Although DD not old enough anyway.

I think it's nice for DC to get some of the things they wanted.

We were not allowed to ask for anything as children, and I found Christmas very frustrating having to pretend to be grateful for a load of junk I didn't want, which of course encouraged parents to buy more of the same... I'm still doing it now! Drives me bonkers! Don't bloody buy me anything if you're not interested in/know me well enough to know what I actually like! [grump]