when its not me that is broody....why do I feel like a complete twunt

[anotherreallyithinknot]

Can men be broody.......DP has suddenly Decided he would like another child...well we should have another child!!!!

not on your life!!!! is my gut feeling.........BUT

if the shoe was on the other foot, I would be thinking him a complete twunt for depriving me of my opportunity at motherhood just one more time....(we have 2 already, my youngest is 9)

Sooooooooooooo do I stick to my guns, he is very VERY keen ..

I have a grat jod, my independence and lots of other reasons.....but GOD almighty, can he ever play the guilt card!!!!!

of course they can! i don't think it's as equal as you make out tho in terms of if it was the other way round
pregnancy and birth is a huge thing for you to go through, he doesn't have to do that. so you have slightly mroe say ijn the issue i reckon

how long has he felt like this? are you 100% sure that you don't want another?

could you decide to think about it and talk in say 6 months time if he still feels the same?

My other reason is I couldnt do odd numbers!!!! ...if I had antoher I would have to have another iykwim....with 3 one always seems to be left out and also with such a big age gap it would also possible be a bit lonely.

God listen to me actually thinking about it...I dont want any more!!!!!! and Im not going to bed tonight!!!!!

He has been like this for weeks now...it is getting tiresome

It was dh that brought up having number two. He was happy to wait until I was ready though and never tried making me feel guilty.

I dont think dp is trying to make me feel guilty...Im doing a jolly good job of that all on my own ...

Blardy men...I thought they were suppsoed to be the tough common sense ones!!!

Don't give in, I would rather eat my own eyes than have a child when my youngest was 9. Unless he is going to take over 90% of the pre 5 childcare then tell him to take a hike.

It's all very well a woman, who will do most of the actual childcare wanting a baby. A bloke (I'm assuming) who won't actually be doing most of the shit work, pressuring you for a baby needs to get a grip.

If he is a sah dad, who will be mary poppins in disguise, I apologise.

I was mad for a third child, dp capitulated, he is out of the house 60+ hours a week. I get erm not much time for myself, my fault.

I don't understand those Women who have one lot of kids then 18 years later have another lot. I am going to get sterilised to guard against this last fling of fertility madness.

I couldn't imagine starting all over again when youngest was 9! Your on the home straight! Joking, but in all seriousness I'm sure you remember babies/pre schoolers are hard work, and I agree with the people who say it's your body etc so you don't need to feel that guilty.

If DH asked me for another one I'd laugh in his face. And then say yes if he wants to carry it, like in that film with Arnold Schwarzenegger

my dh was the one to suggest having another child. I wasn't really feeling broody at that point but wanted to consider it at some point for age-gap reasons.

Thought it would take me a heck of a long time to get pregnant. It didn't it took 3 months and i'm now 28 weeks pregnant. Funnily enough, ive found myself getting broody now.

It will be completely up to me to look after both DCs as DH works full time, but i'm very happy we're having another one. However its a decision that should not be made lightly and if you really don't want another one you need to sit down with your DP and explain why you don't want to. You may change your mind in a few months or years but its not fun being almost nagged into a major decision like this.

Ooh, my kind of thread. My dcs are 11 and 14 and I'm 35. I'd kill for another dc. My ovaries are positively buzzing! I think the age gap would be great. Both my dcs are dead keen on the idea and the great thing is, when no3 was a teenager and it was bugging me, I could send it to live with it's much older siblings! the only spanner in the works is DP. He's not keen, although he did come home from work clucking the other day as a workmate had popped in with her newborn, so maybe there is some hope.....

I had dc3 6 months ago after a 9 year gap. It's great. I'm so much more relaxed and I'm loving the baby stage. Dd2 is the centre of things and adores the big two who are great with her. Dh is keen on one more again. I'm not yet convinced but I'm still bf dd2 and have no libido as yet but can imagine in another 6 months feeling differently.

We had planned to wait a couple of yrs after the wedding for practical reasons that I agreed with. It was dh who got impatient and suggested trying sooner.

Big age gaps are great imo! But then I'm biased as mine dc's are 21, 19 ......and 4 . Great for babysitting, ds 1 also has a dd and there's 3 yrs between dd and dgd. A tad confusing for people that don't know us, and for dd who thinks her niece is cousin.

I never thought I'd have another dc after my two ds's. I was in an awful marriage and felt trapped so had actually asked to be sterilised but the doc said no as I was too young. Thank goodness she did! I got a divorce and met my lovely dh. It was actually his suggestion that we have a dc together, and now we're ttc again but I'm doubtful we'll manage it due to my age (40).

It is a big decision, and I can totally appreciate why you don't want another one. Can you not compromise, agree not to discuss it for 3-6 months and then see how you both feel?

I'm so glad you posted this. I'm 31wks pregnant with no.3 and DH is excitedly talking about no.4. I'm shattered once I've got the other two settled for bed at night (DS1 is ASD so its all strict routine). I'm likely to have a C-section as I have an anterior placenta and now slightly slow growth of this baby. I'm 36 and so if I have a C-section I'd be 38 before we started trying for no.4.

He is a wonderful supportive husband and was one of four. He's pretty good at helping out, with the odd nudge. I'm just not sure that another baby wouldn't be a big strain on the rest of the family - yet feel its unfair I hold all the cards to prevent this for him if its what he really wants.

If you really don't want another, could you put it to him in man terms that he would understand?

What he would have to give up to help, maybe reduce his hours at work as it's him that really wants the next baby? How much it would cost for childcare etc. How much sex he would miss out on. The holidays or the nice weekend things that you would have to sacrifice.

DP is at home most of the time so I have explained to him that if I did have another a lot of the child care responsibility would be up to him (but that sounds like like "oh ok we can have a dog...but you have to walk it!!!")

I know if I have another I wont be able to leave him to do it all- my heartstrings are too easily tugged

Practically there is too much uncertainty...jobs, money etc etc...our children have a lovely lifestyle, they do lots of activities which all cost money and Im sure it will be a lot tougher on all of us if another were to come along..

I know the DC's would love another child in the family as they always say "ooooh mum arnt babies cute cant we have another one "...yeah right!!

It isnt all about the money.....but being realistic it is that and lifestyle and being settled and looking forward to an easier future as the kids grow up...I have a plan, a long term plan and it doesnt include another child and now I feel really selfish....not just on DP but on the kids and on any potential child that did come along (what I mean is, I would always think if I had another now, you were never really in my grand scheme of things iykwim)

ANd then there is the fact that Im 40 this year!!! so really it is make or break in terms of decision - the clock is ticking ...so I dont really have room to change my mind a few years along the line.

I wouldn't worry about the age gap from the kids' perspective at least. The best thing my parents ever did for me is have more children when I was old enough to pay attention and get involved! My parents have 5 children, I'm the oldest and the youngest two were born when I was 10 and 13 respectively.

Now expecting my first I genuinely appreciate the early training in childcare! :)

Of course, there are other things to consider, and just like any other marital decision you'll have to reach some sort of arrangement you can both live with.

OMG i am in yous position right now! My DH and I sort of agreed that we will stick with our two who are 4 and 7. He has been broody for the last 18 months and i am starting to feel sorry for him too! i think we will end up having another one but at my own pace!

Set an alarm every day for 1am, 3am and 6am then see how he feels after 2 weeks

My husband also wants a third, what can you do? (obviously not have one if you don't have one). I wish I had all the time in the world to decide, but I don't (quite old). My main concern is financial, we don't have enough money to pay for childcare etc. and life is just about manageable with two. But part of me is tempted, we just aren't ever tempted at the same time, thank god!

Bumperlicious...my coffee just went everywhere.....LOL...crackin' plan

(see I can have a cup of coffee and not worry about little hands grabbing the handle!!!)

Just to say, my parents had another when I (middle child) was 5 and my older sibling was 8. And it was wonderful! We loved it. I love that I remember my younger sister a as baby. And now we are adults, the age gap doesn't matter at all. We live 5 minutes from each other and get on brilliantly, as we both do with older sibling, who lives abroad. Grandchildren age range is 18 down to 1 and a half, which my parents enjoy enormously. Just saying...