AIBU to not want to invite entire family of inlaws for Christmas?

[minxthemanx]

Last year DH was away in Australia with his job, over Christmas, so this year we said we wanted to stay at home and have nice family christmas. Invited his Mum and my Mum as they are both on their own, then his bro, wife and son said they'd like to come - am fine with that. MIL is now asking us to invite his sister, husband and 2 kids - they live 2-3 hours away - and I'm not happy! Feel like our family christmas is being completely taken over by his side of the family - they are all pretty loud and bossy, and I feel like I won't get to see my DC much as the house will be taken over. We haven't got a big house, and will struggle to fit 10 round the table, let alone 14. I know tis the season to be jolly, but should I have to do what MIL asks?

You should do whatever works for you - but if that does mean inviting all and sundry to keep the peace then set some ground rules.

Make each adult responsible for something and buy as much ready made as you can.

If you can't accomodate extras then give them the number of a local B&B

No! YANBU!

Nice Family Christmas consists of the people you choose to have around. That means your children and possibly your husband depending

Stewie, MIL would LOVE to do it at her house (very matriarchal and all that), but we really didn't want to drive/take the kids away from home this year, so if she does it at hers she won't see our DC. I feel like I can't bloody win.

This is a tricky one. I would like to invite my db and his dp and their 2 ds's. They are all lovely. However to do so (both sets parents are coming) would mean we had to invite dh's brother, sil and their two brats little darlings - if we didn't mil would be horrible about it. That's 8 extra people and it would make a big difference.

New Year not an option as MIL away partying and SIL skiing. MIL desperately wants her entire family and their kids with her on Christmas Day - ironic, as she & her daughter (my SIL) fell out spectacularly this year, and we had to deal with months of tears and fall out. They've now 'made up', but even so I don't really want the whole bloody family here! My poor Mum won't get a word in all day.

YANBU - Just say no - I am in the middle of xmas hell with inlaws at this moment - we have to have a 'pretend' christmas cos MIL has decided to go on a cruise over christmas itself - so I have decs up, picking up turkey tomorrow and 12 people arriving to stay including hyper dog to add to our 4. MIL is already complaining that she hasn't got our bedroom, the shower is rubbish, she can't find anything and the place is apparently 'filthy'. I have a bad cold and have spent the last 2 weeks (did I mention that I've only had 2 weeks notice??) cleaning and present buying...
please for your sanity if you have any doubts just say no - I wish I had.

Scrappy that sounds horrifc - why are people so selfish?!!!!

Yanbu

Christmas, it never fails to bring out the worst in extended families.

We've hosted numerous sizeable family gatherings, with various hangers on, over the years and whilst we love having the house busy with people it's b**y expensive and hard work which is rarely recognised. If you do decide to go ahead with it I'd make some very clear ground rules. Insist suggest everyone brings along a bit of the meal, prepares it and gets it ready for the table and everyone helps with the clearing away, washing up and putting away. At least if you do host it you hopefully won't be too-much-out-of-pocket and frazzled by the end of it and will have had some fun along the way with your own DC.