To make a 'move' on ex when I see him next weekend?

[WhereWildHorsesAre]

Had a version of this on chat but now seriously thinking about it.

Namechanged as DP comes on here sometimes and knows posting name.

My ex, the First Love, was my soul mate. I wholeheartedly loved him, more than anyone else. I love DP in a different way - a much more mature, deep, trustful love, but boring if I'm honest, and we've had problems for the last couple of years. Ex made me have butterflies, lay my soul on the line, write poetry by the bucketfuls, and all that good stuff.

It's been about 10 years since we split and we've kept in touch sporadically, whenever he pops into the city we'll meet for lunch/coffee, nothing more than polite friends. Occasionally I will have a dream about him and really miss him. There is absolutely a part of me that will always be in love with him, and he has said the same.

He is coming to my current city - 5 hours from where he lives - in the next couple of weeks and wants to meet for coffee. I haven't seen him for about 4 years. I feel like giving over to my emotions and suggesting something to him...I wouldn't have the faintest clue what or how, mind, but probably blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. I'm rubbish at flirting.

I have always thought that if Ex wanted us back together and I knew it would last, I probably would agree. I really long for that passion that we had. Maybe not so mad? Am I setting myself up for total embarrassment / humiliation and getting shot down awfully?

What would happen to the most important person, your DC?

Good question, Truck. DC is old enough to know that not all mummies & daddies live together, several of DC's friends have divorced parents, remarried parents, single parents, or are raised by grandparents. I am a child of divorced parents and so I can't help but draw on my own experience, and I certainly wasn't traumatised by it.

And ccpccp, it was good. It was so good.

Oh my goodness. I did this, I split from someone who I considered my absolute soulmate (passionate, exciting, love of my life) who I would have described like you did.

Three years later I met him again at a party and began the whole emotional rollercoaster all over again.

It unravelled really quickly and lucky, lucky me, I met my DH (mature, deep, trustful etc etc which are great qualities).

I bump into my ex occasionally and while I do remember the good things, I can also remember the disaster.

My only advice is from my experience people dont change that much, they may mature, but personalities are the same and all the reasons that you split up in the first place will still be there.

Lambzig thank you for that perspective, it really helps to hear from someone who's been there before.

Don't meet him.

OOoooooooooh nooooooo.

AVOID.

Trust me on this one.

I answered on your other thread.

I did this. Me and my ex got back in contact after 5 years, got back together to rekindle our former passion, moved in together etc, and it all went tits up very quickly.

Trust me, it won't be the same. Plus you have so much expectation of it that it is bound to be a let down even in the first "throes" of rekindling and you will end up lying to yourself that it is great because you have set yourself up to want it so much. I did. I regret it! Well, I don't regret now it in the sense that I learned that you can never just go back to how things were.

I did learn that he wasn't the one for me.

But it lasted longer than it should have because I didn't want to admit to myself that it wasn't working. I thought it was my last chance to have a love like that again. It wasn't. I have something far better now with DP.

But I still have the poems I wrote the first time round with ex and think of those times fondly! Second time around was a disaster but it taught me a lesson.

iv handed a few of these out recently! unbeliveable

Although I didn't leave another partner for him. Was single when exP and I got back together.