in not liking my ds's best friend and trying to figure out what to do about it?

[nevercansaygoodbye]

my ds 5 started school in september. He didn't know any of the other kids so the teacher asked for someone to 'volunteer' to play with him. The boy who did and my ds are now 'best friends' to the extent that my ds says he loves him and doesn't want to play with anyone else at school...
Anyway, the best friend came to our house today and I was really horrified by his behaviour - he continually called everything 'stupid' including me, my ds and our car and then said our house was too small and suggested to my ds that they 'wee all over' my 18 mo dd..who of course was 'really stupid.' My ds was pretty enthralled by all this and sort of joined in.
I tried to talk to my ds about it - in bringing him up we really emphasise kindness and having respect for people so I just reminded him about this and also told him it is a good idea to play with lots of people...obviously I don't want to bitch about this other boy to him and can't control his friendships, but aibu to try to figure out a way of weaning him off his ardour for the other boy? And - how???

thought so - do you wish your mother had invited her back again?

thanks for the comments! My poor baby!

never I agree with Madam. I don't see a problem with you telling this boy no if he does something you don't like. If you don't see language or behavior as acceptable then tell him and stop the behavior.

I would mention to the teacher what happened and just ask if it's possible to encourage DS to play with other kids.

I would also just start organizing play dates with other kids. Don't give your DS a choice just do it! Don't invite the horrid child over and don't let DS go over to play. Saying that if the friend's parents ask you why not then you will have to be bold enough to either give an honest answer or lie and risk being caught out (ie you say you're too busy at the moment but DS is obviously having play dates with others!)

If he talks like that at school in class, the teacher will pull him up about his language and attitude. Nothing to stop you doing the same, in a similarly calm and reasonable manner.
he's five and needs to learn what is acceptable and what is not.
Talking with the teacher is a good idea.

DD had a friend who I loathed. She was rude, greedy and controlling. She came to our flat to play and was just horrid. I ended up driving her home early. She never came again.

goblinchild - o yes I did pull him up but it didn't make a big difference. And I suppose I'm worried about what he talks to my ds like when I'm not around. I did have a little chat with my ds about it - just told him I didn't like the way his friend was talking and he should try to play with other kids as well and he said 'ok I will try to play with more people.' Feel guilty now! But thanks everyone for suggesting it wouldn't be outrageously controlling to try to do something about this..