To want to cook a nice christmas dinner but not to be expected to be expected to make in ott?

[springchik]

We are having christmas dinner at home with my 2 dcs aged 3 and 5. My pils are also comming. They always made a huge thing of christmas dinner a starter 2 sorts as meat (a turkey and something else) homemade stuffing and masses of vegtables and homemade yorkshire puddings aswell followed by christmas pudding plus an alternative desserts if you like. I know because I have been a few times over the years (either christmas day or boxing day) also dh has told me many times! LOL!

Anyway I have made clear to dh that whilst I will cook a nice christmas dinner I WILL NOT go to town in that way. I want to have time as well to enjooy the dcs opening their presents and just be able to spend time with them aswell as cook! So NO starters, no homemade yorkshire puddings, no cauliflour cheese (dh requested this tho!) AND no 2nd sort of meat. I will be cooking turkey, roast pots and mash, roast parsnips, carrots swede, brussel sprouts and if pushed possibly aunt bessys yorkshires and stuffing (shop bought) alsoo christmas pud (which they all like plus an alternative for ds2 who didnt like it last year.

However when dh explained this to inlaws at the weekend mil nsaid dont be so silly its Christmas I'll buy some beef if you like and fil will make 2 sorts of stuffing. I just got the distinct impressiion she thinnks I should really go to town and make a bigger thing of the dinner than I am. She just seemed disaproving and dismissive. Are my plans unreasonable? By the way I find the whole cooking a big dinner quite hard and stressful anyway another reason to want to keep it reasonably simple!

[snowDancing]

It will still be Christmas and everyone including your PIL will enjoy the meal and Christmas day even if you do not go OTT with the food, place settings ect.

[mamatomany]

We are having a cold buffet, everyone has been warned and the children much much prefer it.

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Haha, canyou- I tried that once, but we have an open dining/living room, and the table is near the tree and the big piles of pressies, so tends to get swamped with wrapping paper and "bits"!!

DH clears all the stuff up while we are at church. I won't let him set the table, though, cos that's one of the bits I love!

[canyou]

Jooly Do you mean Santa forgot to leave a recycling bag in the Christmas stockings? He does in my house

[kingbeat23]

Canyou - pm'd you the recipe

[QueenOfTheNight]

Yorkshire pudding with Xmas dinner??

I'm many generations Yorkshire born and bred and have never, ever heard of anyone having Yorkshire pudding with Xmas dinner. You have them with roast beef.

But cauliflower cheese? That's just weird!

[ShanahansRevenge]

2 sorts of meat is not "chavvy"! What a "chavvy" thing to say Alibabba!

Anyway/..OP you YANBU at all...the meal you describe is perfect and as for the 2nd choice of pudding, get ice cream and some topping!

The inlaws can't control your menu! It's your house!

[canyou]

Thank you King, it looks lovely, I have a day off tomorrow and all the ing so I will try then out, love a new twist on trad foods and most people now drink tea/coffee as driving meaning I have to drink all the mulled wine. They look as if they would be nice with the coffee

[kingbeat23]

Let me know how they come out, seriously, I don't know how I've managed to lose weight with this book, but with it I've learnt how to bake this year! (main achievement of 2010 - not moving house with a small baby and useless partner, not going back to work after baby, not splitting with DP - no, baking)

Right hijack over - as you were!

[kingbeat23]

Baking Magic by Kate shirazi if you wanna know, bought it from sainsbo's

[Mermaidspam]

If having 2 meats is chavvy, what does having this make our family???

[Soups]

I haven't read the thread yet but I'd ask the to bring a couple of dishes but be specific. Such as cold canapes for pre-lunch nibbles, home made stuffing, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, extra pudding, brandy butter. It'll give them something to do but you can build it into your own menu.

In the past I've said no to my MIL bringing food around but she does it anyway. I've now learnt to give her a couple of jobs. We've had situations on the past where we've invited the extended family for a BBQ and she's turned up with a huge pile of pre-cooked sausages. Passed them around before we've even had the rolls and salad out, then no one is really hungry when the food we've cooked and spent ages preparing is ready.

[canyou]

Mermaid I have one of those in the freezer not sure how nice it is but seemed very indulgent

[Mermaidspam]

Ooh, they're fab canyou.

[fruitstick]

mermaid, I think that's the classy equivalent!

At least the meats all taste nice together and it doesn't involve an unnecessary amount of extra cooking

[borderslass]

For christmas I will do either a pork or beef with the trimmings plus cauliflower cheese and lots of veggies.DS [16] will only eat the meat, mash,roasties and cauliflower cheese.I don't do a starter or dessert either.You have what you like otherwise whats the point we don't like turkey here and there's only 3 meat eaters so would be a waste.

[Mermaidspam]

Yay! "Classy" is something I have never been

[pooka]

[minervaitalica]

Sorry YAB a little bit U. Two meats is a bit OTT perhaps but a starter would not go amiss. I rather serve no yorkshires than Auntie bessie's personally.

Xmas is a family occasion not your run of the mill lunch/dinner party - what's wrong in agreeing with your family something which will work for everyone? They are not expecting you to cook extra - they offered to help you out.

Xmas is a once a year celebration - hardly surprising that DH/ILs want to make it different. And in general most people I know end up eating left-overs anyway, and I do not know anyone who just throws away huge amounts of Xmas lunch. In any case, if you are worried about over-catering, just plan for smaller portions than you would normally make.

[beijingaling]

It would be unreasonable for her to expect you to cook it all but she's obviously happy to just bring it round so I say welcome her food with grace and just not let it worry you.

I think Christmas is a time to get over rough ground smoothly so if anything will cause more of a fuss by not having it than just gritting your teeth and letting it not worry you then I say go for it. If it will leave you sobbing in the kitchen with a bottle of sherry on the other hand...

Is there a reason you won't do a starter or is it the extra work/food? If it's going to ruffle feathers have you thought of cheese and bics or pate on toast or smoked salmon on bread whilst you're opening presents? Can be done in advance and then just plonked out where you're opening presents. Tell people it's a casual starter and smile brightly.

There's soooo much that can be done in advance for any roast dinner. Christmas day hopefully should just be about assembling it all!

[onceamai]

YANBU and I think they are being YABU.

There are four adults and two children - how can you possibly eat what your pils propose and still enjoy other parts of the day. What a mixture - turkey, beef, yorkies, cauli cheese, stuffing, etc., all on the plate at once. Yuk!

Less is more IMO. Usually cater for 6-8. Xmas day - breakfast is DIY. Church 9.30 home 11: champagne and smoked salmon. Late lunch - usually about 4 - everyone else has a walk in the afternoon. Turkey (small), sausages, stuffing, bread sauce, cranberry sauce, roast potatoes and parsnips, sprouts, runner beans (family trad of freezing the last picking for Xmas), Xmas Pud - alcoholic creams and chocolate log for those who don't like the pud.

On boxing day we have cold meat and usually are out and about. The roast beef is reserved for the 27th and always a yummy triple rib with all the roast beef trimmings.

[fel1x]

God, what a load of miseries.
All this 'you cant possibly have yorkies/cauli cheese on xmas day' comments

If you love yorkies or cauli cheese, or mash as well as roasts then why on earth not???
Surely xmas day is more about having a lovely day with your family and things you WANT to eat, rather than what you SHOULD traditionally eat.

OP. YANBU. It sounds as though you are cooking a lovely meal and trying to make it appeal to everyone.

We are at the in laws for xmas this year and we'll eat whatever they see fit to cook!
They have ham and tomato as a traditional xmas day breakfast every year, which I think is odd and dont like, but I always eat politely and wouldnt dream of asking for something else, even though I've always had bacon and eggs at home for xmas day breakfast since I was little!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Fel1x - I agree that when you are visiting someone you just eat whatever is there.

ILs do what I consider grim food on boxing day - cold turkey, ham and beef with mashed potato and loads of pickle type things. No veg, no salad, no gravy.

I hate pickles, so I end up eating cold meat with dry mash. Vile and horrid but I wouldn't dream of insisting that they cook other things for me or start taking things with me. It is what they all like, their tradition and their home so that is what they do.

If you are going to be somewhere for several days, or have young and fussy children then it is a different thing, but as adults you can put up with one meal that isn't exactly to your taste for the sake of politeness.

[brass]

Do what you are prepared to do but let them bring/make what extras they want. As long as they are doing the work it doesn't matter. It would be different if she was insisting YOU do it but she's isn't.

It's Christmas. If being a bit flexible means everyone enjoys it then go with the flow.