DH's Xmas "do"

[onceamai]

Dreading this. DH is quite senior about 3rd in a co. with about 140 staff - also quite new. Have the spectacular Xmas party coming up. Shooting and riding the afternoon before - overnight at a spa then champagne reception and dinner, etc. I'm not doing the afternoon stuff because of work but I'm feeling fat, frumpy and 50 (almost). Size 14 nowadays and feel I always look tired. Have a very classic velvet skirt and feel like ordering a really nice boden silvery top and teaming with a nice black, crystal necklace and buying some lovely black high heels. Not an IABU but more of a wwyd.

Don't feel very attractive at the mo. DH has said get there early and he will treat to what I want at the hotel spa and will also have hair done and rehighlighted the week before.

I don't want to spend a huge amount because really need to lose a stone (11st 4 at present and 5'4"). Should I pull the stops out and buy something really decent.

And to apologise in advance, I know I am very very lucky and really don't want to upset some posters who I know face an uphill struggle but I feel such an tired old fat blob at the moment.

You are not going to lose a stone now, not good surely.

If you can make your weight do mad things like that, anything you buy will not fit except for this time round, so waste of money.

Maybe stick with what you've got & order what you've got in mind, sounds good, but also 1) get nails done party style 2) maybe get hair done for that night as well as highlights week before 3) buy a really stunning evening bag to flash around.

Go and buy a new outfit, have your hair done and go for it.

Size 14 is a lovely curvy size, get some slimming undies and show off your good bits (I bet you have a better cleavage now than when you were slimmer!). Wear your new outfit with a smile and you'll look lovely

However, if you are going to "spa" be careful re the fake tan as it may all come off and don't get a facial as you might be all blotchy and spotty afterwards.

But, I would buy some good underwear and a new dress. If you go in an 'old' skirt and a top then you will not feel a million dollars and you deserve to. There are lots of nice MN-ers on Style and Beauty who love to find outfits for people. Agree a top and skirt is mumsy.

I thought this WAS a Style & beauty, now see it's an AIBU!

Eliza is right - if you want a new outfit, definitely go over there now, & link to this thread. THere are a few S&B ladies on call now I think..

Buy something new. Preferably a dress. Something that makes you feel fabulous.

Definitely don't do the fake tan - this winter is all about pale and interesting (and if you are soaking in the spa it is bound to blotch).

Definitely get your hair done but avoid a facial unless you do it the week before.

Most of all have fun.

You need a new dress. You WILL feel frumpy in an old skirt.

What about something like this? or this

Some opaque black tights and nice heels, hair done and a bit of fake tan (bronzed not orange, naturally :)) You'll look a million dollars.

BTW you sound lovely. No-one will give a shit what you're wearing but YOU will. Treat yourself :)

Two words............... MAGIC KNICKERS.

Go for good support underwear and the top you most like to buy, then concentrate on your hair and get a make up done at the spa too.

How will you be a tired old fat blob if you have fantastic outfit, slimming pants, sexy shoes, good make-up (splurge on a makeover at a beauty counter and buy what they recommend- even one new blusher and lippie can make all the difference), fab hair, lush mani/ pedi.... and a glass of something fizzy in your hand.

You will be the Belle of the Ball!

My tip is to pretend that I am a hugely confident person- just act it... no-one will know the difference.

And yes to the new dress and no to the velvet skirt...

Why don't you hire something?

I saw this today, you could splurge and hire something fabulous, and then when you have reached your goal weight you can buy something to keep!

Girl Meets Dress link here

I agree with Baileys (and everyone else). Get some magic pants and buy a fabulous dress. You can get a dress and shoes that make you look show stoppery for under £200.

Shoes are key.

Size 14 is glam and gorgeous. Do affirmations in the mirror every morning (yes I know it sounds wanky but it works, honest)

You are beautiful, in our own way we all are. I would highly recommend a few little tricks (I used to be a personal shopper and currently work in the cosmetic industry)
Clarins anti au oil and body shaping cream. Every evening. Their high def body lift every morning (a month before if poss) I swear by it! That's a nice little extra.
Deffo deffo get your self some control underwear. It will make the world of difference! You will totally feel like a new woman! M&s or house of Fraser are fab (talk to the sales people, ask advice!) think hof are on discount this weekend

Get a black top. Killer black shoes and statement jewelley. It will draw attention to the right areas. Stick to block colour foe the background (so black to match your skirt) and a contrast with the jewelley (eg a striking emerald piece) accessorize are fab for non expensive pieces! Match the necklace with the bracelet and to draw peoples eyeline down, streamlining you. Make sure the necklace sits in the right place. No chockers or long danglers!

Cosmetic counters are fantastic places! Ge them to do a consultation on you (normally free in clinique, clarins, actually most of them except mac) and a tuition. Mac are fab and require a deposit and it's re-deemable on product! Beware though! They are a costume make-up brand and can give dramatic looks unless strictly instructed! Again, ask questions! I love it when I client gets involved. Get a tan! Crucial! They are so slimming! Hair and nails and you are ready for the ball cinders! Oh I wish I could go shopping with you! Sounds a fun day. Xx

Thank you all so much. Almost tearful at the support when I was expecting a flame. Will order the top as a backup and will phone John Lewis tomorrow to see if I can get personal shopper booked at short notice for either late Thurs or over next weekend. If I can't will do my best. Honestly can't believe that some of you have bothered to put in links and stuff to help. Still feel fat, but happier fat now and feeling better about leaving comfort zone to pull it out for DH.

Throw money at the problem.

I reckon a dress looks more streamlined and smart than a skirt and top. Skirts and tops kind of are frumpy and/or officey unless a wiggle skirt or somesuch.

if it is a long skirt, then don't wear heels!

Also, velvet can be the choice of fabric of the older generation. Obv. it is currently fashionable but you don't want to feel like you accidentally got trendy iyswim.

I would be the first to be envious of your situation (lovely DH, good job with fab xmas parties ) but having all that stuff going for you doesn't mean you don't deserve to treat yourself and make yourself look and feel damned good. In fact, it would be a waste to not do so! :)

Excellent advice above regarding the dress, underwear etc.

My comments:

Get your hair blow dried or put into an up-do on the day - will make all the difference.

Avoid any kind of steam room, facial or sauna at the spa, as this may bring on redness or blotchiness.

You are the boss's wife - most people there are probably going to be faintly in awe of you and treat you very nicely indeed!

No one expects you to be 22. If you are nearly 50 but looking nice, they will just think 'she is looking nice' not think about your age.

See if you can go along slightly earlier than the formal drinks reception. Maybe people will be relaxing in the bar after the shooting etc? That way you will get to know a few faces and a few of the jokes, so feel more relaxed when it comes to the dinner.

Ask DH to tell you some names and info about colleagues and their partners before you go, to make conversation easier.

Enjoy! I wish I was going to a lovely do like that!

Oh Hobgoblin, what on earth is a wiggle skirt? I can't really can't see me in anything that sounds so sexy [yikes]. You sound lovely.

Debenhams and 50 plus have got some lovely dresses. Debenhams have got a sale on, and a personal shopper service.

I got a lovely dress - size 14 down from £75 to £50 from Debenhams, some figure control underwear from figleaves and silver shoes from 50 plus for a recent event. (I am 55 and a bit plump). I had loads of compliments!

Like you, I was really worried as it was DH's work do, and I didn't want to look frumpy.

You will have a great time.

Branching out - it's the faintly in awe of I find difficult - I still feel gauche and 21 inside and know I have to "do" this and be utterly charming in the way of those I used to hold in awe and underneath it's only me and that's all I can be and I can't hide as I'd like to

A wiggle skirt is a pencil skirt that makes you totter along. Not a good look unless you are very young/looking for male attention/both.

If it were me, I'd want to subtly stand out in an elegant way. I am 35 myself and often see women of all ages at functions who have played things overly safe and look uncomfortable even then. They are neither happy because they feel super 'jeans and top comfy' nor are they feeling good because they feel they look fabulous. They go for the un happy halfway point and sit fiddling with straps, hoiking their spanx out of their bum cheeks, and dancing awkwardly when they eventually get too pissed to care, but by then their mascara has spread.

Anyway, I think you should post some links to point us in the direction of your sort of style so mnetters can personal shop for you!

Not saying I haven't ever had to hoik me spanx from me crack of course

Oh Hob, probably a cross between Sloane and Boden and could do with being Trinnie and Susannah'd.

Just on way home from DH company do after similar dilemma. Really good evening despite fact i couldn't get motivated to buy new dress and have definitely looked better in the past in the dress I finally wore (it's been a very ageing year for all sorts of reasons).
Anyway, I wasn't the worst dressed in the room and early on had decided to go for the head held high confident approach. Worked a treat.
Go for all the treatments and have faith in yourself.
Enjoy!

But I'm much more comfy with the going home Saturday and have ordered black velvet jeans and a lovely (I think) knitted tunic from Boden from that. Not sure how to post a link.