bah-humbug kill-joy no-fun mummy? moi? ...

[AlphaSchmalpha]

or rather - should ds join in with the nursery xmas play?

ds is 3.5 and dislikes costumes/ dressing up. he has been "given a part" in the play which means wearing a costume. no idea if he has to say anything, but think they will be lucky if he does - he is articulate and outgoing, but doesn't like being told what to say (eg he goes all shy at being asked to say hello to people)

his key worker asked me yesterday to a) sort out a costume for him and b) bring him in every morning for the next 2 weeks for "rehearsal" for an hour (he goes 3 days a week at the moment). She said participating in the play is good for building children's confidence.

What do I do? ds doesn't want to wear a costume and is disinterested in the play.
He cries hysterically every morning when I leave him (he does stop crying after a few mins!) so I am reluctant to add another 2 mornings of angst and crying. I could sit in for the hour I suppose but tbh we've got other stuff to do on non-nursery days.

Or is she right, is it a good confidence building thing for him to be made to join in, wear the costume, and do extra time at nursery?

If he's vaguely reluctant then get him to do it, if he's really upset then don't.

YANBU - DS is exactly the same. They had a pj day at nursery on Friday so as requested sent him in with some pjs in his bag, however he didn't want to put them on. The nursery were fine with it.

I wouldn't wanted to bring him in the extra days, my DS is also doing the whole crying when he gets there (he is fine 5mins after I leave him and I have to drag him away at home time!!)

oh just to be clear, he cries at me leaving him, not crying because of the play. but it is shit having to leave a sobbing child 3 mornings, I'd rather not do it every day. he is fine at nursery in general but hates hates hates dressing up.

I have seen enough xmas or end of year "performances" by tiny kids now to know that practising at nursery or preschool is one thing, doing it in front of a huge crowd of mums, dads, aunties, grannies, nannies and grandads leaves the majority of the children overwhelmed and largely silent!

So perhaps it's more accurate to ask AIBU to think they are overdoing the rehearsals idea, and that given ds isn't keen at all it seems daft to push him into wearing a costume and to spending extra time at nursery?

I wouldn't do the extra sessions. I would encourage joining in and play it by ear on the costume nearer performance time. Joining in and doing as he's told for rehearsals is not putting him in the performance - you can make that call at a later date. Basically where possible it would be good if he could join in the play just because we all have to do things sometimes that aren't our favourites and he'll have to do stuff when told at school next year.

Take it all one step at a time.