to think this school assembley was inappropriate

[browneyedlou]

Have named changed for this as don't want school to be easily identified...

Today my two DDs aged 12 and 16, have come home discussing a school assembly they had this morning. This was a "house" assembley so pupils from all year groups (7 to 13) and all ability ranges were in attendance and it was about the white ribbon campaign against domestic violence. DD1 has described it as containing a powerpoint presentation with very emotive music "everybody hurts" accompanying pictures of bruised and battered female victims of domestic violence, and lots of slides giving stats about sexual assault and rape.

Now I do not object to the campaign in anyway, and I think it is a very worthy cause to raise awareness of. However, this is a catholic school, where my daughter who is in Y12 (lower 6th) has never received any sex education at all except that

• she was told the biological facts in science
• at the end of year 9 a Christian charity spoke to them about abstinence.

She has never been given any information at all about contraception, or the emotional aspects of a sexual relationship - luckily dh and I have discussed this with them at home but I know other parents won't have. I have accepted the lack of sex education as in every other respect it is an excellent school, and they argue that to promote contraception etc would be to undermine their Catholic principles

I just feel that an assembly about domestic violence where the pupils have had absolutely no contextual information about a positive, healthy sexual relationship, is likely to leave students, particularly girls, feeling scared about sex, rather than empowered - from speaking to dd2, it is apparent that she found some of the images quite upsetting.

AIBU? and how do I articulate my concerns to the school?

YABU. Just because they haven't been taught the ins and outs of sex, doesn't mean they don't know it exists. It also doesn't mean they shouldn't know about wrong kinds of relationships.

I don't see the problem TBH, unless you think that they should be utterly helpless and clueless about abusive relationships?

i agree earwicga but also agree with op that sensitive topics such as DV/rape should be covered within the context of a well considered and planned Sex and Relationship Education programme of study. There should be an opportunity for students to discuss and explore healthy and unhealthy behaviours in relationships in a safe enironment with ground rules and paramenters clearly stated and agreed.

Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) is taught very well in some schools and very poorly in others. My personal opinion as a secondary PSHE coordinator is that it is better not 'taught' at all than taught badly. I think that it's a great shame that plans to make the PSHE curriculum statutory in state schools were recently dropped as at least this would have led to consistency in schools.

A good indicator of how well PSHE is delivered in secondary schools is whether it is taught by designated trained staff or farmed out to tutors/teachers with a spare slot on their timetable. The former works well, the latter does not. Most schools with a good PSHE curriculum will also have a clear and up to date Sex and Relationship Education policy which parents can request a copy of if they are concerned about the quality/quantity of SRE teaching.

YABU

My DDs school [not catholic] also only talked about sex in science classes. I thought this was awful, and made sure we talked lots at home.

But If they had an assembly like you have described I would have been pleased. Domestic violence needs to be talked about much, much more. It might also be going on in their homes and may be giving them advice re contacts etc. I would say good for the school!!

B

I just think they should know about the right kinds of relationship as well as the wrong kinds to paraphrase you salizchap.

Afaik she is delivered by the form tutors mob so no specialist staff .. I thought this was fairly common practice?

Pshe I mean

YANBU! Imagine that for a 7 year old!

Not age 7, year 7 (age 12)

No, Year 7 - ages 11 to 12

I think YANBU. I totally see where you are coming from with the lack of messages about good/positive relationships inc sex contraception etc and then whammo loads of really shocking detail about what can happen.

I also think that the way this was presented was all wrong. It sounds like a very disturbing presentation - some of the children watching will have been raped, will have witnessed DV, will have been hit etc themselves. This sort of material I would think would be better presented in small same-age groups with discussion and opportunity for children to talk to someone sympathetic afterwards if they need to. If it's the usual teachers with a strong Catholic ethic then children will often (rightly or wrongly) feel unable to talk about such sensitive subjects with them.

I hope your answer to the deputy who told you
that a lot of modern sex education programs include advice on how to give effective oral sex was "then find one that doesn't" That's just burying your head in the sand and hoping that the real world will go away.

Surely even Catholic teenagers are entitled to eduation that will help them make happy and healthy relationship choices and I'm sure there are plenty of resource materials for teenagers about forming and maintaining loving Christian relationships.

I agree with you that this assembly would have been better recieved and therefore more effective if it had been with this sort of a backdrop.