Wanting my boy to grow up in a H&S free world

[Ryoko]

went for a walk in the park the other day and noticed things, like kids around 10 out cycling with parents, children who looked about 8 on pathetic climbing frames with mum holding their hand, parents standing around watching kids like hawks, there was more parents in the play ground then kids.

and they are being so over bloody protective about such shit things to be honest, the climbing frames are pathetic, the slides are a joke etc compared to when I was a kid and it's all safe woodchips under em so what are they so worried about.

It just took me back to my youth it did, climbing up two story tall steel climbing frames, with concrete underneath em, surfing on the rocking horse and those massive ski jump style slides where you used to fly off the end and land in the bin that was all ways strategically placed. plus when I had a bike I was at least 3 miles away from my family at all times.

AIBU to wonder if all this cotton wool wrapping is going to turn em all into little pansies in later life?

They stopped all those things because kids broke stuff. Their limbs.

Seriously would you rathher you kid climb on a 2 storey frame over concrete?

Also don't knwo how old you are, but there were always wood chips in my day.

Hides puke too

YABU

shall we go back to not having to wear seat belts too, stupid flippin H&S eh?

Hmm, YABU to use phrases like "little pansies".

Risk-averse parenting has been blamed for a host of ills but, as with everything, it helps to look at the bigger picture.

Tim Gill's excellent book "No Fear" is available for free here: www.gulbenkian.org.uk/media/item/1266/223/No-fear-19.12.07.pdf

He's the guru of managed risk for children

Pansies?

So you went to the park on a sunday and saw families out riding bikes together, playing together in the playground and generally having fun?

Hoevring mums repeatedly calling "be careful, be careful" as their ten year old attempts to negotiate a slide suitable for a 3 year old are enough to want me to go and knock the child off myself....

Afraid it's that we live in a shit world where kids get taken from parks and streets, when out for a day on their bikes and they either return to you traumatised after being attacked or they come back in a body bag. The attacks these days are done by people they know from school and trust, eg Huntley the care taker, or young kids they go to school with, eg the poor boys left for dead by two brothers, they'd gone fishing for the day!! Life is shit and they need protecting so I'm with the parents on this one

woodchips also hides dog mess, used needles and broken glass too - rather have the rubbery surfaces any day!

No you ANBU. I let my boy be a boy. He get's muddy, falls off stuff and his latest game it to jump off the chair onto a pile of cushions. The stuff I used to do too.

H&S does have it's place, but not to the extent of suffocating a childss right to be a child.

The worst place I've seen for this was in New York. We were there in july and there was a playpark across from the hotel. So obviously we spent a lot of time there. Bugger me if the Mummies weren't actually on the climbing frame with their DC! The kids weren't playing with each other but with mommy only. The Mum's were up there in their little flippy skirts, take out coffee in hand and 2 steps behind little one at all times! Real Helicopter parenting in action!

The only normal person in there was a Brit ex-pat, we got chatting and his daughter and my son ran around having a great time! Without being stifled by grown ups directing them and their play!

Sorry, seem to have gone off one one on your thread, but Children need to be Children!

Fair enough PABHL, but there should be something besides concrete!

You must go to the wrong park. Ours have some good climbing frames (we never had anything like it when I was a kid) but also trees (with non-official rope swing over mud), rocks...

And of course that's just the park, there's loads of real places too. The HSE hasn't abolished the countryside you know.

The climbing frames are extras, for those that want them - there's plenty of other stuff available now.

Not to mention all the zipwires/high ropes type things that never existed when I was young.

I fell off a slide onto concrete, aged 7. Fractured skull, 6 weeks off school (so some upside :).

So, some things are obviously dangerous. But the precautionary principle is now out of hand imo.

In other words, ohh, look, a potential risk of harm (NB not proven, may be vanishingly small, but the precautionary principle dictates you had better take steps to avert the risk).
This has led to all sorts of helicopter parenting, oppressive H&S measures such as needing the proverbial 2/3/4 people to change a light bulb. Kids need to hurt themselves (within reason) to learn the limits of their capabilities and that some things are bloody dangerous to do!

Somewhere lies the happy medium, but I think our perception of risk is greater than a generation ago, probably unnecessarily so imo (slides set into concrete notwithstanding).

Hmm - YANBU to mentally raise an eyebrow at children as old as 8 and 10 being helicopter-parented (and susue, you do know that the risk of children being "taken from parks and streets" is vanishingly low, much lower than in the 1970s, don't you?).

However, the tarmac surfaces they used to have in playgrounds when I was young was awful. I'm so pleased that there are safer surfaces these days so that kids can play without risking life and limb.

But what you're complaining about isn't (mostly) H&S regulations - its overprotective parents.

we had concrete under the slides and climbing frames in my day, and we fell off and had to be taken to A&E - I don't think that's a good thing for children. So I think its right that they've changed to the rubber surfaces.

But, also back in my day, parents weren't one step behind you saying "be careful" - if they were in the park at all, they were chatting or reading a book, and limited themselves to saying "hold on tight" from time to time.

Psychologically, much better to remind them to hold on tight or pay attention, it genuinely does "jinx it" to say "don't let go" as it makes them nervous and think about letting go, instead of making them feel like a confident person who holds on tight.

Yes mis - parents are the problem here not any regulations. Left to their own devices most children can make even the poxiest slides into something refreshingly dangerous

The attitude I've taken with my DD is 'look before you leap' - DO leap (climb,scramble, wade across stream etc etc) but think for a moment first - run down the hillside if you can see it levels off, don't if there's nowhere to stop.

In some way YANBU, the park I used to play in has had all the good old stiff taken away to be replaced with smaller, less exciting play equipment. I loved playing on the climbing frames and massive swing sets, but the boy we knew who fell from the monkey bars, breaking his shoulder and his arm obviously didn't enjoy it as much as I did.

You can't really say, well it never did me any harm, because it probably did someone some harm.

When the parents complain that older play equipment is unsafe, the council can't turn round and say, "true, but the other kids are fine and it's more fun."

If you think playgrounds are too tame, then perhaps take your DC to somewhere like Go Ape. It still has the element of danger, but is perfectly safe.

I think you are mad if you'd rather not have H&S.

H&S swapped the concrete for something a bit safer to land on, after all.

YANBU to find the hanging around parents annoying.

Children don't learn to manage risk or gain in confidence unless you let them play and basically don't say a word about safety unless they're looking to you for advice.

"Afraid it's that we live in a shit world where kids get taken from parks and streets, when out for a day on their bikes and they either return to you traumatised after being attacked or they come back in a body bag. The attacks these days are done by people they know from school and trust, eg Huntley the care taker, or young kids they go to school with, eg the poor boys left for dead by two brothers, they'd gone fishing for the day!! Life is shit and they need protecting so I'm with the parents on this one"

It's nothing to do with H and S. It's because so many people believe rubbish like this that our children's lives are limited and contained.

Don't be ridiculous. There is far less H&S in Belgium - a young man was recently killed on a building site - buried to death. I've seen so many elderly men missing fingers due to work accidents when they were younger.

That;s what happens when there is no H&S.

The two nearest playparks to us have amazing climbing frames - big sort of teepee shaped things made out of rope. Much better than the metal arch with bars when I was a kid.

Its defintely right that they now have rubber surfaces. I grew up in the days of concrete, I can remember a slide in my local park that no parents would ever allow their children to play on cause if someone fell from that height they would have been dead. I think its good that childrens safety is considered a higher priority than it was when I was a child.

Some parents are overprotective but perhaps that is because they are scarred by past experience. My mums brother died aged 6 when he drowned whilst playing out with friends. Allowing very young children too much freedom isn't such a good thing.

As with everything its all about balance. Wrap your children up in cotton wool and they won't be equipped to deal with danger, give them too much freedom before they are ready and they could get into difficulties.

I was kind of using the point about concrete as why are they standing there with em when it's woodchips now, I'm 31 BTW, so it's playgrounds in the 80's and early 90's I'm talking about, mainly Ravenscourt park with the pirate ship and the helicopter and that and Bishops park and the ones round the estate.

As for abductions, it's not because of an increase in pedophiles is due to increase of media scare mongering, which is causing a break up in society, don't talk to your neighbour they may be a serial killer, don't leave your house statistics say you will be killed in any number of ways if you do so and don't stay inside because that will kill you as well.
But thats a whole other issue for this board.

YANBU to want your child to be able to be adventurous.

YABU to not want health and safety. Personally I quite enjoy being healthy, and would rather my children didn't break limbs if it can be avoided. You seem to be implying that it's more fun to play over concrete than over a soft surface.

Nothing wrong with 10 year olds enjoying cycling with their parents in the park, either. If the parents never let them out of their site then that's a different issue.

I think YAB abit U to judge all these people without knowing them. How do you know there's not an underlying reason that means they need to be more careful?
I'm sure I've been judged a "helicopter parent" on more than one occasion, but I'd rather that than see my DS in hospital for something other people would consider a minor injury - he has haemophilia so we can't just let him fall and say "oh well, be more careful next time".
Also, what if the child has balance/mobility issues, or a genuine fear of heights?
As for 10 year olds on bikes with their parents, what's wrong with a family day out cycling??