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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel like a complete bloody failure?

40 replies

Nagoo · 22/11/2010 09:24

WHY can't I get a baby out?

I am a week 'over' now, and the midwife is going to come today to discuss induction.

What pisses me off is that if it were my job to predict something happening, and I was only right about it 5% of the time, then I'd be a bit less bloody pushy about it.

Why do they start trying to push you into intervention as soon as you hit 40 weeks?

It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I haven't gone into labour naturally yet.

And they are all bloody stunned when I say that I don't want them to touch me until I'm 42 weeks. Am I abnormal? Do most people wait with bated breath for a stretch and sweep?

I'm so sad and I am supposed to be excited!

OP posts:
Fernie3 · 22/11/2010 09:27

Cant remember where i read it but have read that most first pregnancies are around 41 weeks rather than 40. Yanbu you are being normal.

Good luck and of course its up to you about the sweep etc.

ballstoit · 22/11/2010 09:32

You're only a week over, plenty of time for LO to make an appearance without intervention.

It's always your choice what you do or dont have. MW's job is to keep you and baby safe, the risk of stillbirth increases after 42 weeks so they encourage sweep/induction etc.

TBH, I accepted sweeps with DC3 after being induced with DC2 which was pretty unpleasant. But, obviously, it's your choice.

Good luck Smile

eaglewings · 22/11/2010 09:36

Explain how you feel and why, don't be pushed into something you are unhappy about, but do accept their monitoring when it is closer to 42 weeks wold be my response

maninthemooncup · 22/11/2010 09:37

Don't be sad! The end of pregnancy is rubbish. There is nothing wrong with you, and very likely your lovely baby will make his or her appearance soon enough.
Most people are so desperate for the pg to be over that they are gagging for s&s at 40+1, I don't think MWs are used to patience at this stage.

ilovehens · 22/11/2010 09:38

I'd never have a sweep again. The doctor did an unconsented sweep on me and it led to premature rupture of membranes - baby wasn't in the right position - an emergency c-section and infection with strep B Angry.

He had hands like a bloody vet up a cow and I felt violated and angry.

It's your body, don't let them push you around.

TheSkiingGardener · 22/11/2010 09:39

I waited until 42 weeks and a day before agreeing to induction. You just need to smile, be firm, and have a copy of the NHS guidelines in your handbag. Seriously I saw a junior doc who told me I HAD to schedule an induction at 41 weeks. I told her no and to talk to her supervisor. I think she genuinely thought she would be in trouble for not getting me to agree! Supervisor said fine, the junior doctor had just misunderstood the guidelines.

Smile and be firm about what you want. Monitoring heartbeat and fluid levels provides reassurance all round. In my case DS just didn't want to come out but eventually was persuaded and is now a wriggly 5 months!

Rannaldini · 22/11/2010 09:40

nah, I waited and waited with d1
she was 41+5

you are in charge of your pregnancy imo

otherwise put your feet up and get some rest
you'll need it!

Original poster
Nagoo · 22/11/2010 09:48

Smile? I think my face will crack the mood I'm in ATM.....

It probably a mistake being on here, but I am yet to come across one 'I had an induction and it was fine' story.

This is DC2 and the last one was a week late, If I was repeating that pregnancy I'd have a DS in the next 15 mins.... I know I can't use one pg as a yardstick for another, but it's bloody hard not to!

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 22/11/2010 09:52

Induction is term plus 12 at my trust. It has to be arranged prior to this due to the volume of service users. Lots deliver before the induction date.

Fwiw I've delivered an awful lot of inductions that were fine. In fact I had 3 last week in one night shift Shock

needafootmassage · 22/11/2010 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSkiingGardener · 22/11/2010 10:00

I had an induction and I and DS are fine!!!!!

togarama · 22/11/2010 10:19

If there's no medical problems just sit tight until 42 weeks. The Naegels due date is just a guestimate. There's several more recently developed calculations that take into account cycle length, ovulation date and parity. They apparenly (and in my case) have a better predictive success rate than Naegels but nothing is totally accurate.

I think I was 41+5 by standard measurement when dd was born. Didn't have any sweeps or eat any pineapples. Felt fine and would have been quite abrupt with anyone pushing induction at such an early stage.

Anniegetyourgun · 22/11/2010 10:29

DS1 was induced at 15 days over. It wasn't much fun but there weren't any medical problems. He was fine - a little dry skin around the edges was the only indication he was late. He was obviously so comfortable he was in no hurry to leave!

The other three were late as well, but only a few days. I think someone mentioned induction with DS3 (10 days over) but it didn't come to that.

Original poster
Nagoo · 22/11/2010 10:32

Ok, substitute 'fine' for 'not in uncontrollable agony due to going from 0-60 in about 3 minutes'?

OP posts:
almost3 · 22/11/2010 10:34

Nagoo, I think it's your pregnancy, therfore, completely your choice. If you do not feel comfortable with an induction then explain how you feel to your midwife, as long as you and baby are monitored and everything is looking okay then I think you deserve to spend the remainder of your pregnancy not stressing about pushy medical staff.

However, I will add that I was induced with DS1 and had a lovely experience, no complications, labour wasn't excessively long (3 hours 12 minutes in total)!

Like I said, I think it's completely your choice but just wanted to let you know that not every induction turns into a nightmare. I'm currently 39+4 and will have no problems acccepting an induction at 42 weeks if baby hasn't made an appearance by then.

Best of luck to you hun x

Fernie3 · 22/11/2010 10:36

I have had two inductions and two naturally starting labours ,thee inductions were easier.

Having said that my waters broke early hours of the morning at 39+ 5 with my fourth. Baby 3 months ago, 39 + 4 late night i was on here posting upset about the fact i had no signs of labour and i woukd be pregnant forever! Less than 12 hours later i was holding her.

So don't give up hope!

cheekyseamonkey · 22/11/2010 10:37

Don't be pushed, they are a right pita. My dd decided to start coming 14 hours before the booked induction (14 days over). She arrived the very minute I was due to be checked in to the hospital - that's my girl! In france they consider 42 weeks to be term. Resist, don't let them scare you and avoid Syntocinin (? sp) at all costs! If you must have it, take the epidural, seriously!

CardyMow · 22/11/2010 10:38

I've been induced with all 3 dc (for various reasons), nagoo. Only one of them was awful, and that was due to the baby's osition rather than having been induced. DS1 was the only one I had roblems with the induction and found horribly painful, but he was B2B with his had on his head, and his hand was stuck there because the cord was 'holding' it in place. DD was reasonable for a first labour that was induced, and with DS2, my labour was induced with syntocinon, no pessaries, 5 hrs start to finish and I was still laughing and joking and doing crossword puzzles with DP right up until DS2 was crowning. And I didn't have an epidural with any of my inductions.

I don't see why an induction is seen as such a 'bad' thing on MN, some people (like me) just don't seem to go into labour naturally, and a well-managed induction is (I imagine) not that different to a 'normal' labour. I personally would not risk the health of my dc4 (due in Jan) by refusing an induction if I got to 41+ weeks. Maybe this time I'll go into labour and not need an induction, and be able to come back on MN in 8 weeks and say it was so much easier than being induced, I'll happily stand to be corrected, but I fully imagine that I'll nedd induction again, I know this one's going to be more painful anyway as he's B2B.

The position of the baby is what makes labour more painful IME than whether you've been induced or not.

megapixels · 22/11/2010 10:41

YABU to feel like a failure, your baby obviously loves it inside you and is in no hurry to be out :). My induction was scheduled and then I called and cancelled it when DD1 took ill and had to have emergency surgery. I finally rescheduled for the day I was exactly 42 weeks but went into labour naturally on that day.

So don't be sad, things may still work out how you want. Good luck.

elportodelgato · 22/11/2010 10:45

Nagoo - I was induced and it WAS fine. Quick certainly, but fine with otherwise no interventions and only G&A for pain relief. I am now planning a homebirth for my second.

I am not sure why you don't want to try a sweep, it's really a very non-invasive way of getting things going. It's uncomfortable but you're going to be in labour pretty soon so the discomfort of a sweep sort of pales into insignificance. I had 2 sweeps prior to induction which got me a show and up to 2cm without really noticing it. When I then went for induction I needed only a tiny bit of hormone to tip me over the edge IYSWIM.

JodiesMummy · 22/11/2010 10:50

I had an induction and it was fine, stop moaning and get on with resting. There are worse things that could happen than being overdue!

Sugarmuppet · 22/11/2010 10:52

I am the 'had an induction and it was fine'! Drip started 10pm, first pains at 4am, baby born at 8am without any drugs or intervention. Was my first baby so not sure if I would rather have been mobile or not. Hope it doesn't come to an induction for you but in my experience if it does its totally fine.

Sugarmuppet · 22/11/2010 10:53

p.s I was induced at 32 weeks and was terrified. :( Would have cut off my arm to get to 41 weeks.

JodiesMummy · 22/11/2010 10:55

Exactly Sugarmuppet, OP is losing perspective on having a long and healthy pregnancy because she is whingy and impatient about the last coupld of weeks. Silly really.

TheUnmentioned · 22/11/2010 10:58

So do you think I am a failure because I have been induced twice and had 2 babies at 13 days late?

If you do - thats a bit harsh imo and I certainly do not agree.

If you dont - why are you thinking this of yourself then?

I was induced both times, with ds I had my waters broken at 3, no contractions, went on drip at 630, born just after midnight. Piece of piss.

With dd had waters broken at 9am, no contractions, went on drip at 1130, no contractions, contractions started about 230 ish, she was born at 2020. Sore because she was back to back not because of induction and failry quick again.