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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To object to name change.

20 replies

midlandsmumof4 · 22/11/2010 00:02

So......DS is in court on Wednesday because his EP wants to change his daughters surname. Its our only link to her. Confused

OP posts:
newwave · 22/11/2010 00:04

What is an EP please

Serendippy · 22/11/2010 00:04

What does EP stand for please?

sixpercenttruejedi · 22/11/2010 00:05

why is it your only link to her? Does your ds not have contact?
Has any reason been given for the name change?

AuntiePickleBottom · 22/11/2010 00:05

ex partner

MerrilyDefective · 22/11/2010 00:07

Does she want to change the name to her own surname,or that of a new partner?.
Seems a shame,but not enough info to really pass comment.

Serendippy · 22/11/2010 00:07

Is it really your only link to her? Do you not see her?

midlandsmumof4 · 22/11/2010 00:20

Sorry...EP is Ex Partner. Ds has had no contact for 18 months. She won't allow contact and wants to change our GD's surname to her maiden name because apparently GD will be traumatised by having a different surname. (she lives with her mum & maternal GP's)

OP posts:
MerrilyDefective · 22/11/2010 00:25

Traumatised is a bit strong...
Loads of children have different surnames these days.
Mine have a different surname to me.
Only because DP and i are not married and they have his surname.
It's no big deal anymore.
Why has DS had no contact?...18 months is a long time.
Do you have contact with GD.?

chipmonkey · 22/11/2010 00:31

If you have not seen her for 18 months, surely your ds has more to worry about than her name which is neither here nor there. If you have a dd, more than likely any children she has will have different surnames from you but they will still be your grandchildren!

If it were my son, I would be hoping he would be going to court to request access, rather than going about a name!

midlandsmumof4 · 22/11/2010 00:44

Chipmonkey-he has requested a contact order. We don't expect her to comply even if its granted which is why we are objecting to name change. Mum has serious issues.

OP posts:
midlandsmumof4 · 22/11/2010 01:07

Merrilyd..agree with the different surname. This is exactly what we put in our statement. Mum has flatly refused contact. When son phoned he was accused of being abusive and she changed her phone number. Couldn't visit cos her dad threatened him. Birthday cards to GD have been returned. Don't know what else to do.

OP posts:
Coralanne · 22/11/2010 05:00

DS needs a good solicitor

HecateQueenOfWitches · 22/11/2010 08:44

so can he not show up at court and give his side of the story?

And take her to court for access? Show willing by agreeing to anything - an hour a week, supervised only - anything. To show that he will go to any lengths to see his child.

midlandsmumof4 · 28/11/2010 00:52

Yes............Name change has been refused. Hearing in January. In the mean time son has applied for a contact order.

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 28/11/2010 01:02

interesting that ds hadn't bothered to apply for contact order in the prior 18 mos...

any chance of him contacting xp rationally and sitting down with her to agree to some supervised contact prior to the hearing? (this would go down well, presumably, if she is accusing him of being abusive - supervised contact would leave her with no real room to turn down the request.)

if she has 'serious issues' then why isn't he applying for custody? does he feel that his dd is in safe hands?

mjinsparklystockings · 28/11/2010 01:04

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Message withdrawn

midlandsmumof4 · 28/11/2010 23:02

Madwoman..........not that he can't be bothered. We hoped that she would eventually come around. He can't afford massive legal fees as we know she will oppose contact. She has serious issues with DS....we don't doubt her capability as a mum.

OP posts:
midlandsmumof4 · 28/11/2010 23:05

mjinsparkingstockings.........Sad

OP posts:
thesecondcoming · 29/11/2010 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mjinsparklystockings · 29/11/2010 12:22

This reply has been deleted

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