Not to cut down what i eat in case i put on weight?

[PavlovtheCat]

why do people continually feel, upon seeing me eat a large meal, that i need to watch what i eat, as before i know it, the weight is going to pile on? like 1) it is inevitable and 2) i should avoid it before it happens and 3) i should even bloody care

I am 33, 5'3, weight 9.5 stone, in size 8-10 clothes, carry my weight internally if that makes sense (i suspect its the weight of knowledge in my head ). Have always been between 8.5 and 9.5 stone, no matter what I eat. Have always had a huge appetite, not watched what I have eaten. probably eat too much junk and not enough fruit, not enough water for sure, but am healthy enough, have had two children (4 and almost 1), have an abundance of nervous energy.

An example. yesterday. out for lunch with some friends. To a fab fish restaurant by the sea. I had Haddock, chips and peas, 2 glasses of white. The meal, as normal was enormous, but absolutely bloody delicious, so i ate pretty much all of it. For some reason the chef felt it nice to give me two bits of freshly battered haddock, no way was i going to waste it! Anyway, half way through, my friend, who by the way is not portly herself but has a little weight on her hips now, said 'you are going to have to watch how much you eat you know, you should not really eat all of that, it is going to catch up with you'.

I hear this so often. It used to be humorous, i took it as a sort of backhanded compliment, but now, its just grating. Why do I have to watch what i eat just in case one day i might get a fat backside?

AIBU to just say 'oh do fuck off'?

YANBU at all!

I'm not as slim as you - 5'5" and about a size 10/12. I'm happy with this size. I eat what I like, when I like. I was in the office on Thursday (pie day) and had a huge plate of pie, chips, peas and then had a cup of tea and a double decker for pudding. I was eating with a group of men who all had the same (well, they had Kit-Kats but you know what I mean). No-one looked twice at them but I got some very disbelieving and surprised looks plus one comment.

I'm 45 and I'm always being told that I need to look out for middle aged spread . I never, ever weigh myself - I just go by how my clothes fit. If they're a bit tight, I cut down for a week or so and get back to normal.

I find it amazing, really, and very rude that people feel it's ok to comment.

I think a smug "Oh no, I never gain weight" would shut them up

I should just enjoy it! However I think that you will find that when you hit 40 it will change. I had a friend like you and it was hard once she got to 40 because ,for the first time in her life, she couldn't just eat anything. Maybe if you do a lot of exercise you will continue as you are-my friend had neverdone exercise. Anyway-good luck-long may it continue.

this sort of thing really annoys me,why do people feel the need to comment on others weight/eating habits so much. I get it all the time (im 5'10 and usually between 9 and 9.5 stone) i eat loads but people are always rude my hv saw me for dd2 1yr check and said i looked skeletal which hurt a lot.

YANBU to tell them to f off, i would i have well and truly had enough of that sort of thing, i would never go up to somebody and be rude about their weight whether under or over or what they eat/dont eat.

belle that is the same. I recall once at around 26/27 or so, I went out for breakfast with a group of friends and ate the most enormouse breakfast (it was called a monster breakfast or something, 3 eggs, 3 veggie sausages, 3 hash browns, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, chips, toast) and then swiped my friend's chips as she had finished. My friend (a different one) said then 'by the time you are 30 you will have the arse the size of a bus' and ever since then, the comments just keep coming in. admittedly that was a horrendous amount to eat, but on my side, I had been clubbing til the wee hours and been dancing for hours and hours, used a lot of energy!

It is the whole 'middle age spread' thing that really irritates me. Is it really inevitable? clearly not in your case, so not for many I am sure. And, surely, if it does happen, I can't do an awful lot to stop it, so I shall just address it if and when it becomes an issue.

I don't normally weight myself either. I weighed myself around 1 month ago or so, as my friend had digital scales and I wanted to try them, i predicted quite accurately as like you, i know my body quite well.

piscesmoon, I think it depends on your metabolism. I'm over 40 and I don't do any exercise really. I'm unaffected so far... Maybe I'll need to watch it when 50 rolls around

YANBU. I'm actually same as you OP when not pregnant and mostly happy with my size (as in same height and roughly same weight) but few years younger. I suspect I'll have to stop eating like a horse in a few years if the other women in my family are anything to go by.

Way I see it, when you're eating out it's ok to splurge a bit, it's a treat after all. Your friend sounds a bit jealous Anyway you would have offended the nice generous chef if you hadn't eaten what sounds like a really lovely dinner.

pisces thats the thing though. If it is going to happen anyway, and I will stop being able to eat what I like, then I should not stop now, while I can! if it is a change in my metabolism, it will change regardless. I expect one day it will happen, it did to my mother, although, i guess it was more about how she felt as I never considered her large at all. I guess it is relative as she was skinnier than me.

YANBU - your friend is jealous of your super-metabolism.

saffy it was delicious! i could quite happily eat it all over again. Sometimes, when we take friends/family there for the first time for fish and chips, I don't think they expect much, but its the best fish and chips I have ever had.

coco it is frustrating though, as many of my friends are like it. Including the men (probably as I can eat even more than them even!).

I guess people are just jealous! I had gone years watching my friend eat cream doughnuts etc and be as thin as a rake so it was quite nice when she suddenly had to be the same as the rest of us! (I guess I am just not a very nice person!)
Just be pleased and ignore everyone-it is jealousy!

pisces - I'd have been pleased about that too!

People need to mind their own business. Nothing lovelier to see than a girl enjoying her food. Next time the "friend" says something like that say, "when you have lost that butt you can advise me darling!"

Is it called "Sea Pebbles" in hatchend by any chance?

redflag-ive been there it is lovely its just round the corner from where i live i wonder if it is where op meant?

Ariane5 best fish and chips i have ever had, so a good chance i would say.

My mother used to live in Pinner so we were just round the corner, been a few times now.

It just ruins the fun aspect of eating out with your friend
I go out Friday nights with a bunch of girls
we get drunk and eat a meal together
one girl always brings the conversation to her diet, how she's trying to be good blah blah
fgs it's dull listening to diet crap when you're out tucking inti your fish and chips

If you can do it, then do it.

I could do the blah blah blah healthy on the inside organs surrounded by fat but it was only one meal of fish and chips and frankly who cares?

redflag-small world my mum still lives in pinner! def the best fish and chips there by far!

I'm sure you're not being unreasonable, and I'm sure it's irritating, but... I'm kind of playing the world's smallest violin here (especially given the recent spate of 'am-I-being-unreasonable-to-feel-sick-when-I-see-fat-women-eat-things type threads on here recently).

fgs it's dull listening to diet crap when you're out tucking inti your fish and chips

Yes it is. I have a family member like this incapable of understanding that different people have different circumstances ie I go out very rarely and like to enjoy myself when I do. Thing is she goes on about how 'good' she is and make comments making other women feel bad for daring to eat then stuff her face with crap when she thinks no one important can see her then 'forget' she has done that.

OP how you metabolize food and store excess calories does tend to change with age but it is dependent on genetics,activity levels, life styles ect you may be someone in tune with their appetite and naturally compensate or you may have to make adjustments when you hit that stage.

Enjoy now you lucky woman .

'm kind of playing the world's smallest violin here

Is it not the same thing though attaching a moral dimension to eating.

I'm fat and don't eat a huge amount whereas my much younger brother lived on vast quantities of crap and was like a whippet. Imagine my (evil) joy when he came to visit last year and now at 35 he has a paunch and a double chin. Sorry. I know it's horrid of me and I did feel quite pleased.

I'd tell her that she should watch what she says as that will catch up with her.Cheeky bitch.

Masochism - yes, I take your point. I'm trying very hard to empathise because I agree eating should just be eating. Sadly, I am failing.