To be feeling Angry and Let down?

[deeplyirritated]

Have namechanged.
Been seeing new man for 10 weeks.Lives 60 miles away.Started with coffees and afternoon walks.
Three weeks ago spent weekend together when my dc away and had fab time.Both been texting that we really like each other.Both agreed to go slow as hurt in past.No red flags that I can see.
Last Fri night,he was coming for the evening while my dc out,all arranged during week.Was due at 6.30.7.30,he rings and says has had a bad day at work and can't make it,but will be over next day ,suggests lunch. I feel upset and let down,as all ready,table laid etc.
Say I am sorry about his day ,but would have appreciated an earlier call,to avoid having made food etc.He is apologetic.We have nice time next day.

Today,I am expecting him this afternoon at 1pm.All agreed during week.I have to take dc to city to get coach to their Dads.He suggested he come and we get a meal after in a place he knows.We both take a half day off for this.

I have just had a phone call from him - 2pm - saying he took am off work too and has just noticed the time so will not be here til this evening - or shall we cancel?

WTF! Told him I was cross and let down and would have gone into work if he'd told me earlier.He said sorry he's just been reading a good book and forgot the time.He suggested we cancel altogether - I think because I was angry,and he sounded surprised I was so annoyed.

Have said I would like to see him as was looking forward to it,he says he will now go and sort out a few things and ring later....

Loser?

i would never forget to meet someone i liked for a book...

forget him and move on

I think he's just not that bothered about you.

Tell him to sling his hook. If he can't be bothered at this stage in the relationship, what do you think he will be like further down the road?

He'll be wiping his feet on you!

Loser- if he's forgotten about you twice he is not taking things seriously enough IMO.

Have to do what's right for you though and is hard to make call when don't know anything about him.

Oh, he could also be testing the water. Seeing just how much shit you'll put up with.

I've known men like that. They are looking for someone who will sit around, wait, take all their crap, so they test you. You put up with a little thing, they do something else, you let it go, they do something more, you take it... they know they've got the sort of person they like. A doormat.

Like I say. I've known em.

Two cancellations in quick succession... kind of has a 'I'm washing my hair' feel about it, to be honest. The bad day at work can happen to anyone but reading a book?... Maybe go with the 'three strikes and you're out' rule. So one last chance if you like him. If not, then don't bother.

We chatted on the phone last night and he said several times how much he was looking forward to seeing me.Ended with him saying "see you tomorrow at one".

I get the feeling he is wary of getting hurt and of having responsibilities,although I am sure he really likes me.

Bit childish though.We are both mid forties.Both divorced with older dc.His have left home.

I don't think he's wary. I think he's not that keen. Sorry. But yes, the "I was reading a good book" line just gives it away. Don't pursue it! Have more self worth than to swallow that line!
It's easy to text stuff about liking someone but you need to judge him by his actions, not his words.

Wary of getting hurt. Start making excuses for him, trying to find an explanation that isn't 'he's a cock', so you can justify giving him chance after chance (justify in your own mind I mean. Not to us, we don't matter ) and before you know it, he'll be walking over you, taking you for granted and you'll be another one stuck in a relationship with a man you're convinced is deep, down inside. is super sensitive. just needs the right woman. can change. loves me really...

Honestly. It's your funeral and you'll do as you please, obviously. But if it's advice you're looking for - tell him to take a hike! If you matter to him - he'll do what it takes to prove it.

I think you need to make it very clear to him that you respect yourself and you respect your time, and if he doesn't, then he can take a walk.

I'd make it clear that there will be no third chance.

He just phoned to say sorry again.Said he's got used to the world revolving around him the past few years..

Said he'd like to come over this afternoon/evening or if I prefer,we could leave it until tomorrow lunchtime.
I was non committal - how to know if he means either. He was very apologetic.

You took the afternoon off for him and he got lost in a book!!!! Very strange behaviour - he obviously thinks his time is more important than yours. Maybe see if he pursues you but make no more effort on your part.

He's having second thoughts about you. His excuses are feeble and don't hold together. He phones at 7.30 when he should have been with you at 6.30. If he lives 60 miles away he would need a good hour's travelling time so he should have known by at least 5pm whether he really felt like starting out not 7.30pm and as for "getting lost in a book ?" This is a very immature excuse.

He could have another string to his bow who lives nearer.

Massive disrespect. Massive. Being aware that you are selfish means little if you don't stop being selfish! I would not give him another chance, I don't think. It will hurt I expect, but he doesn't respect you, does he?

to quote the book

"he's just not that into you"
at 10 weeks he should be excited and nervous about seeing you. before a date he would be showering, primping, slapping on teh aftershave. not reading a book.

end it and move on.

How odd! That would tell me he wasn't really interested.