Cheeky Granny at nursery

[Gimmepeace]

I took my 3 year old son and 4 year old step-daughter to nursery about half an hour ago and have come home fuming but need to know if I'm over reacting or not.

There is one of these coin slot things on the wall - a piggy bank that the kids put pennies in and the penny slides down to the bottom. You know the kind?

Anyway - kids are always pestering their parents for the money and I went along today with a handful of 2ps and tens.
So I give my son and SD a couple of pennies and they went over to it. It's in the main cloakroom/hallway. This granny was there with her grandson (she doesnt normally bring him, his mum does) and when my boy went up to the back of him to wait his turn the woman turned round put her hand on his chest and pushed him back. Wasnt TOO rough and my son was not really caring either way but I wanted to give her a right rollicking!!!
I couldn't hear what she said to him so I kept my eye and let son put his penny in.

It was not even that busy and the other parents were getting their own kids dealt with so I let son have his turn and called him back over. I REALLY wanted to give this woman a talking to but I've got a short temper and I know it would have escalated to something more than it was :(
I didn't want to cause a big scene as I always open my mouth first then think after so rather than cause a scene I kept my mouth shut and took my son into his table and left once he had his little name badge on.

I'm still fuming though!!!

Am I really being THAT unreasonable? I don't push or shove or move my son out of the way like that so don't expect anyone else to either. My OH said maybe she's from the generation that thinks there's nothing wrong with it whereas these days everyone cries assault over anything. He understands why I'm so angry though.

I wouldnt be happy with any one shoving my child, on the chest seems a bit vicious, not like on his shoulder or something.

I would have said something to her, but thats me!

Well done for walking away

I never know what to say in these situations as like you I am pretty short tempered which is a curse at the best of times never mind at nursery infront of DS!

YANBU but I would say it probably was just a case of excuse me move back incase we bang into you or something, not the best way to deal with it but I doubt it was meant to be nasty.

If your son wasn't caring either way, then you need to let it go x

I would have been annoyed as well because he was already waiting nicely and not shoving in.

It is upsetting to see your children being 'man handled' but if your son didn't care/seem to notice much - then no harm done is there x

I think it can be annoying when people do things like that - like you I wouldn't physically move my son, I would use words! My MIL would have done the same though, and when she wants DS' attention she will grab his arm rather than call him IYKWIM - so it's partly generational perhaps.

I think though that with these 'wait your turn' things that nursery age kids need closer monitoring really; they have no concept of 'social space' and need help to wait their turn. I would go over to this sort of thing with them - I think you need to be there to say "stand back DS give so and so some space".

I think the nursery are most at fault for having this sort of thing in their hallway! Sounds like something you could do without really when you're trying to drop off etc!!

It depends on whether sh shoved your son back or gently pushed I'm because he was perceived to be pushing up to and crowding her grandson. you dknt know what she said to him, it could have been along the lines of "please don't push up behind Timmy".

Impossible to judge.

sleepingsowell - I know what you mean. In fairness I wasn't far and I did watch them go over and wait. The 2 of them are really good at turn taking so I was confident enough to let them walk the whole 15ish feet away!

The nursery is a really really good nursery - won a lot of prizes over the past year apparently. But yep they're not getting my vote with putting that thing there lol. It's right at the door as you go in

she shouldn't have pushed him, lightly orotherwise. i would have had to say "don't touch my son" when i saw her do it.

booyhoo!!! thats the first thing that came into my mind when I saw her BUT because I know how I get and I felt myself get angry there and then I stopped myself.

probably better not to say anything then if you were so angry and wouldn't have been able to do it calmly.

work on your temper a bit because tehre will be things liek this cropping up from time to time and it would be a bad message to send to your son that you weren't going to stand up for him and even worse to show him taht standing up for him meant losing your temper.

It does sound like a stupid thing to have at nursery. What do they do with the money that's put into it?

Anyway, YANBU.

Do you know if your son said anything - 'maybe it's my turn now'? GP may have been saying 'not yet wait back there'. Just saying there may have been a 'reason' rather then her being nasty.
I don't think there would be a proper reason to put your hands on a child in those circumstances though, and I'm kind of parent who takes the adults part over child's ususally.

It sounds awful, but maybe she thought he was just too close.

Sorry, but I hate "space invaders"

I hate to make generalisations, but I have noticed some grandparents (men and women) get a bit overly territorial and anxious when they look after their GCs. I have always assumed they are the ones who don't do it very much and aren't quite as laid back as regular carers - I've experienced similar behaviour in museums. They get a bit "no-one's getting one over on my grandchild/seeing the worst in other children

It has annoyed me, and I would be annoyed in your position

I think Booyhoo is right- things like this will happen again and you have to be adept at handling them.
I have no temper at all, so its easy for me to talk.
I would definitely have wandered over and said 'Hallo- are you having a problem?'.
'Oh, are you the mother. You're son is standing way too close'
Me: 'I know, its amazing isn't it! This is such a lovely penny machine too. But we mustn't be rough with each other, must we?'.

I find if you make a habit of always speaking sweetly, but clear and loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear, the person you are getting at is always anxious to end the chat asap!!