Friend who never has playdates at her house - aaargh

[myboysarethebest]

Drives me bonkers!!
We are a small group of five friends. We all happily share playdates at each others house - all except one.
Two of us live in flats with no gardens but still manage to get everyone around. (9 DC's including the siblings)
This particular person has a great back yard and a house bigger than some of us but very rarely has anyone around. In the past five years I'm sure it has been less that half a dozen times!! We usually meet every week or every other week, sometimes at outside locations but generally a playdate at someones house a few times a month.

She even had the nerve to say recently that she would have everyone over to her place (not her home but where she was housesitting) and they could 'trash' that.
THANKS - for thinking playdates at my house are an opportunity to trash my home

No one else seems bothered (or has said so at least) but it annoys me.
To be honest I would never say anything to her, except maybe as a 'joke' or in passing. And I wouldn't not invite her as we've always done things as a group.

I'm just having a rant really.

Does she have a show home then? Or let her DC's trash your place?

No way would I ever have 9 DCs plus their parents round to my house dont blame her really!

No, I don't think I'd fancy it much, but not sure I'd be able to join in with the rest if I wasn't prepared to reciprocate. Offering to have everybody round to the house she was sitting is - there's clearly only one home that matters to her.

Rant away.

See, I've had the opposite: I'm in a similar group of friends and depending on whether it's school hols or term-time, we can have anything from 8 to 12 DC's in the house at any one time!
I've offered to host at mine but my house doesn't seem to be a popular choice - I think we've just gotten into the habit of using 2 friends' houses in particular most of the time, I don't know why!
Maybe suggest that she hosts when some of the others are on holiday and there won't be so many there. worth a try!

I wouldn't have 9 dcs at the same time

I have one of those!
She never invites me and the other mums to her house although she always says she will. ?It?s my turn next time?

I don't even mind that much, if it's in my house I don't have to travel with DD but what really annoys me that every time she brings her husband along as well, which in return means I have to ask everyone else if they would like to bring their partners too.
So the small coffee/cake/wine for the ladies whilst the children are playing turns into a full blown out BBQ etc.

Probably my own fault but I start to get really annoyed with this.

NO posh mansion, just standard terrace.

Larger than mine though and I fit everyone in happily - more often than not not everyone turns up.

Her 1 ds (yes only one!!) (that's probably part of the reason, but early on when we all had only one the invites were not forthcoming) plays just the same as everyone else.

Place is trashed in as much as toys everywhere but that's what 4 years do.

Oh yes happy to always come along (usually empty handed unlike every one else)

still happily ranting....

notinmypocket - playdates upgraded to BBQ's are not as much fun. Would never do that-my place is already overflowing...

I have one DS (yes! only one!) and I would say we have more playdates at other people's houses rather than our own, altho we do have some at ours. I had actually thought it was a help if people had 2/3 plus kids, cos it's easier to travel with one than 3. Interesting to see that what I thought was a help could be construed as not sharing the load!

Do you always invite - maybe she's bad at coming forward. How about suggesting she hosts next one - as it's her turn - and she can cater - as she never brings anything! It's not rude to tell truth

myboysarethebest - trust me it won't happen during the winter period.
Had one of those in bad weather and ended up serving proper diner for everyone.

Never again. I'm not 'Come dine with me and bring your children too' material.

I would never have 9 children in my house either!

I can empathise with her although she was very rude to suggest that you trash other peoples' houses (unless you do, and as you say, that's not the case).

I don't particularly like other peoples children and am a lone parent with no break from my own and so I don't tend to have other people's DC here.

Nine of them? PLUS their parents? Oh dear god, no!

Have to admit that the thought of regulalrly having 9 children plus all adults in my house does make me shudder - and I like children and love having people over. But 9 I think Iwould have to do only occassionally!

I never really think that 9 is way too much, but I guess I am just used to it over the years. One is a baby so she doesn't count. Two are two. One set of twins.Five mums (never dads)

We all live within walking distance so travel is not usually a problem.
The mum with the new baby would regularly offer to have us (and also during her pregnancy) but we always said no it's too much.

All mums and kids are great with cleaning up toys at the end. They always offer to help in kitchen but always push them away - easier to do it myself.

I love have them all over - it's so much more relaxing than going out with the kids as you are always having to look out for them. At least at mine I know they can't do too much damage. They play between the bedroom and lounge room and hallway sometimes.

I don't host as many playdates as we go on - but then we live in a very cold house (we don't do central heating) and I have a mental illness - what's her excuse?!!!

I would find this a bit much, so I can see where she's coming from.

I try to be very fair about taking turns with playdates (mine are at school now)

aaahh this is why I am glad I dont have a big circle of friends, less people to fall out with.