To think young children with heavy colds and hacking coughs should not be at nursery school?

[LoveRedShoes]

Am I being a complete germophobe or am I just grouchy because I have been ill all week.
My example - a friend asked if I would mind picking up her DC as he is in the same group as my DC and look after him for a couple of hours as she would be in an appointment. No worries - happy to help. Saw her son on drop off, and he looked deathly, with copious greenies, watery eyes and a hacking cough. I just wanted to pick him up there and then and put him on the sofa with a DvD and a blanket. Anyway, picked him up later feeling a little surprised that she didn't mention anything about his cold (I have a baby at home) and then came back to play with his constant runny nose and hacking cough, and feeling worse for wear. Now, as I suspected, we are all down with a hideous temp and heavy cold, and I have kept my son off all week.
Is it just me, or should heavy colds not be allowed to be in a setting - after all - coughs and sneezes spread diseases. I'm not talking about slighty runny noses, by the way. I just think that 1) the nursery should send children like this home to prevent things spreading and 2) you shouldn't ask a friend to look after your child if you know he has a heavy cold?

I can understand why you're fed up that you caught it too, but realistically if everyone kept their kids at home when they had a cold they'd probably never leave the house for the first couple of years! Kids catch something crazy like 6 or 8 colds a year on average when they're little and most of the time it's just snot and coughing, but the child feels okay. If they're not running a temperature I would have sent mine. I think it's pretty impossible to avoid unfortunately!

I think YAB partly U. If you had to take time off work to look after your DC everytime they had a cough/cold this would be make life very difficult. Nurserys take children who have coughs/colds and therefore the parents are okay to send them. If someone who worked for me had to take time off everytime they or their children had colds I would be a bit annoyed.

However I do think she should have warned you and not expected you to look after him with a baby at home

Yep, I see what your saying. But how do you differentiate between a very heavy hacking cold where the child is obviously poorly, and say, the start of flu. I could feel that this DC had a temp - if it was my nursery I would have called the parent. After all, yes it was a cold, but if I was a working mum myself, i'd have been mightily p -d off at taking this time off.

Hmmn. I think now I'm back at work I'm thankful that nurseries take children with colds or I think my manager might have something to say! I'm sure there'll be times when DS is ill and I know even though nursery would accept him. I'll keep him home so he can stay and snuggle with me.

On the other hand, during my time on mat leave I was always very careful to keep me and / or DS away from my friends children if we were unwell with anything. Unfortunately not all other mums think that way and there have been a few occasions where we've gone somewhere and I've sat there looking for excuses to leave!

Different people have different views as for anything.

Oh and I'd be really peed off if I'd agreed to look after another child and hadn't been told they had a cold, that's just rude!

If the child has a temperature, is obviously feeling poorly and doesn't respond to a dose of Caplol (assuming the nursery will give Calpol, some don't I believe), then I'd expect a call to come and take them home. As to telling the difference between a cold and the start of 'flu, there's probably a millions in medical research grants being spent somewhere trying to answer that question!

I can see why it is upsetting for you but I agree with pjmama - we'd never go out if we had to stay home with a cold to stop it spreading. Would you stay home from work if you got a cold?

And if it isn't your friend's child then I am sure your children would get germs from somewhere else - riding the bus, for example. The best we can do is get our children to wash their hands before they eat, put tissues in the waste basket, etc. Staying home is a bit OTT.

I am a bit laissez-faire on this though as, short of serious illness, I think it is good for children to build up their immune system.

Also, not sure it makes a difference if it is a bad cold (eg: hacking cough etc) or a mild cold. How an individual child responses to a cold virus just depends on that child and their immune system. One cold virus can make one child very ill while the other only mildly so. So I wouldn't worry that your child is going to suffer terribly just because another child does.

Agree that she should have warned you though.

A cold and the 'flu are worlds apart. You'd know if he had the flu - he would have a very high temperature and be most unhappy.

True!

My ds has a hacking cough and cold for the most of the winter as do his classmates. I can't keep him off school for 3 months.

I think it depends on the 'wellness' of the hacking child. I have 3 off at the moment. 2 have added asthma and it would not be fair to send them in. But if the asthma 'quietens' down and they feel better in themselves but are still a bit gungey, yes, i would send them back. My third DS has man flu. He is not as bad as the others - but if he were to be the only one going to school i would put money on it that i would get a phonecall to come and pick him up before lunchtime. Then i would have to get the others out of the warm - into the cold..... .
I'm a SAHM so i have the luxury of being able to make this decision. I can totally understand that if you work, there are other pressures to be considered. I would not take cold ridden kids to a newbies house, or a frail person's house.
If you used the same principle to all - where you couldn't go on the tube system if you had a stinking cold etc- business would grind to a halt over the winter months. Or they would find effective remedies?

But auntevil, asthma isn't contagious so surely that is a difficult case from what the OP was talking about?

The cold brought the asthma on. So not only do they have green icicles dangling - sneezing them out - but they are struggling to breathe. It's more a case of whether they would be able to go school and learn - which is the reason we send them.
The school also has a disability base, where some children have an impaired immune system. The school frequently sends out letters to this effect.

Then being around colds must be really hard for your kids, auntevil. I had asthma as a kid and for me a cold always meant bronchitis. My poor mum in retrospect.

I have asthma, so completely understand - if a cold goes onto my chest I really feel under the weather. Perhaps that's why I am clearly a germophobe!
The other thing that gets me is how poorly ventilated they keep the rooms - I keep wanting to go in and open windows. You can practically chew the air in my DCs school.

Eeew, poorly ventilated rooms are disgusting.

I don't think I'd still have a job if I kept DS off school every time he had a cold. He normally picks ups his colds and coughs from school anyway.

I think your friend should have told you that her child was full of cold, esp as you have a baby. Thats just the thing to do imo, i will always say to friends if mine are snotty etc as not everyone wants to risk catching colds etc.

Howevet if i had kept ds4 off school when he was coldy/coughy he would hardly have gone last term.

As it is my children did have time off for bad colds and then a sickness bug. Tbh i am also sahm so have the luxury of giving y kids a day off if they are under the weather etc.

But on the whole yabu kids get colds.