ex husband, contact. GGRRR

[redderthanred]

he has DD every other weekend, ( or there abouts, depending on his work, Army)
So hes having her last weekend in nov, so it follows he should have her fri 10th, sat 11th to bring her back sun 12th.

Just text him to tell him that DD is in a christmasa concert on sat 11th at 9:30am. That it would be a shame if she couldnt go as she has been working on her costume/practising for months. That he could come to the concert, but only him as its only two people watching per child, and then take her from there.

Hes text back ' im not having her that weekend, its my works xmas do'

FFS.

AIBU to want to stab him in the eye with a hot poker?

what a dick.
Can he not get a babysitter for the night?

Could he not take her to the christmas concert

He lives an hour away, so would be very unlikely to pick her up at 5pm on the friday, to bring her back here for 9am on the saturday, to go back to his at about 10:30, and then bring her back again on the sunday afternoon.

But it seems he has already decided he isnt having her then as he has plans. Even though its his weekend.
And hes not even told me about it.

He is being a dick as to how he has not discussed his plans with you.

However you are also asking to have her on the Friday of his weekend so that she can go do her concert so you are actually also changing the arrangements (albeit with a good reason) and cutting in half the time he would actually have with his dd.

Doesn't you having her this weekend and him having her for another (perhaps the weekend before or after) instead actually work for both of you?

The other side AIBU posted to say 'I only see my dd every other weekend yet on my weekend my ex wife wants me to only have her for 1 night instead of the agreed 2 and I am upset that I am missing out on time with my dd' would get support too I think...

While the way he has gone about this is crap can't you both talk about this rather than texting (when its easy to get the wrong end of the stick or resent things badly) and sort out an arrangement that will actually work for you both?

present things badly not resent!

I really can't see the problem.

You want her Friday for the concert and he wants to go to his works christmas function.

If you think about it everything is how you want it for the weekend so it is pretty smooth.

He could have said "I am having her"

Im not fussed he isnt having her.

Ill try and swap the first weekend in dec with him or something, so he still gets to see her.

Its just the attitude and the fact that he hadnt even mentioned it at all.

We cant talk as he is verbally abusive. I refuse to speak to him. So it has to be arranged via email. Or text, as i know hes away right now at not picking emails up.