DS is four and in reception. He is a lovely boy - confident and very sociable - but certainly has an impulsive streak and is very energetic.
At home we have learnt to be tough with him. I don't mean screaming and shouting at him but certainly removing priviledges, toys, time out etc works very well for him. We are consistent with him - he gets warned then if he doesnt listen it happens. With this approach he is lovely at home, if not a normal bouncy four year old boy.
In school however it is a different story. He is consistently pushing boundaries there. He is not vindictive or aggressive but being a stereotypical boy - very bouncy, won't keep still, climbing things etc. School have called me in a couple of times to talk to me about this.
I have asked them how they are dealing with it. They say that their approach is to ignore the negative and praise the positive. Now I'm sure this works well for some children but surely others need a firmer approach? As far as DS is concerned there is little comeback for his actions. Ok so he doesnt get any attention from the teachers from it but he also doesnt get a negative reaction or even really told it is wrong. I don't think it is 'worth' him stopping these behaviours. I am not sure he even realises these things are 'wrong' half the time because they are not being firm enough with him. When they tell me the specifics and I firmly and clearly tell him these behaviours are not on and I will punish him for it, he stops doing them in school.
I have suggested this to the teachers but they seem convinced their approach is right and that actively punishing him or being firmer with him is wrong. He was never like this in private nursery - his teacher there who was a trained nursery teacher was very firm with the more energetic children and she had the group controlled perfectly.
So AIBU here? Should they carry on with their praise the positive ignore the negative or can I ask more firmly for them to be stricter with him? He is confused about what behaviour is expected, they are frustrated at him not following rules and I am upset that he is being labelled as the naughty child.