DH and PIL - Long and a bit ranty sorry.

[Mozismyhero]

Have had a crappy day: am pregnant and overdue and have been sent to the hospital today for monitoring as my BP is high and the baby's movements have slowed. Thankfully, all well with LO but BP stayed high. Also had membrane sweep while I was there to try to get things moving and the MW was unable to do it as (sorry if TMI) cervix not even slightly open yet.

Is DH's birthday tomorrow. I have been told the MW will come round and see me at home at some point tomorrow(who knows when) to check my BP again. We were planning on going to see the PIL after my DH came home from work tomorrow but we have had to tell them we might not make it as the MW could call anytime (could be in the evening).

DH just got home to tell me that the PIL are planning on calling round to see me tomorrow (while he's at work) to drop his present off and see how I am. I don't have this kind of relationship with them and the very last thing I want to do is have to entertain them (making cups of tea etc). DH phoned to tell them this, fine, and while on starts to tell them I'd had a sweep today etc. Why do they need to know this? Told him to stop and he has now gone upstairs in a mood. Cannot cope with his grumpy mood - feel fed up enough myself.

In writing this, I realise that neither he nor the PIL have done anything that bad I suppose.

Go on, tell me - I am BU aren't I?

maybe a tad U - but I think you are allowed to be in your current situation!

Maybe you will be in labour tomorrow if they come round so you won't have to make cups of tea and polite conversation

Under normal circumstances, unreasonable. Today, not. DH needs to put his grump aside and support you.

Oh dear. Of course YABU, but you're very pregnant and allowed a bit of unreasonable behaviour! Apologise to your DH, but make it clear that while you're carrying his overdue baby, he can't expect you to be all sunshine and flowers!

does he or your PIL know what a sweep is? perhaps tomorrow you can describe it in graphic detail for them over the tea?

YANBU, you can NBU when you are pregnant and overdue. Ask him if he'll report to them when you have a smear as well?

YANBU. Would you get your mum and dad round to pop in to see your DH while you are not there and he's waiting for the doctor to call round and hold his balls while he cough?

He has come down now, not grumpy and is hanging washing up after being lovely. Says perfectly understandable I would not want his parents to know about sweep, he wouldn't want me to tell my mum about prostate exam. He thought I would be upset with him so was hiding upstairs! Ah well, all back to normal! Crisis averted.

i know just how you feel,mine came for an overnight visit the day i got back from cvs in London-3hrs away-not only was i sore and told to rest but i was a waiting difficult and possibly life changing news and just wnated hosue to myself,it was difficult for dh to understand and he did try to put them off but they came anyway.glad you have it sorted,good luck.

psst glad you made it up with dh cos i actually found a shag sent me in the next day with 3 of my children.

Bless him!

YAnbu about the visit but yabu about the sweep. He might want and need totalk to them about how things are and they are prob interested

I can see that you are not really yourself at the moment but I think that you need to try and develop a relationship with them that doesn't depend on DH.

I don't think you are BU. I wouldn't want a sweep discussed with my ILs.

You also don't need to develop a relationship with them that doens't depend on your DH, I don't with my ILs, that is for DH to sort out. I wouldn't expect him to do the same for my family, that is my job.

I had my birth story in a magazine before and was about my 3rd degree tear. MIL wanted to show it to FIL, which she did but I must admit I felt very uncomfortable at them (in hindsight I shouldn't have shown it to MIL) knowing the details of how my fanjo had ripped to arsehole in labour. Some things are personal.

crazyplatelady-so personal yoou shared the story with all the mags avid readers lol?.
YANBU imo. My dh invited inlaws round on day got out of hosp after section(and I has already had to go to shops as he forgot formula!). He then buggered off and left me to entertain them(make coffee etc)-and they sat there and let me!. Twats.

You are allowed no MIL in the entire world needs that much information unless it comes from you.

Good luck - you never know you might have a baby tomorrow morning and then it will all be forgotten.

DH probably just feeling sorry for himself because he knows he was daft. New daddies have a huge practical and emotional learning curve for which their MIL's have inadequately equipped them. Next time he's got a sore willy or achy balls suggest you tell your mum all the details in front of him .

Please post and tell us all about baby.

I know pink but I have no problem sharing my story with other mums and mums to be (the story was on foreps births), it just felt weird knowing my elderly ILs knew how bad the damage was 'down there'.