Or is this really cruel?

[Ninks]

Someone I know of (and was a bit significant in my past) now has three children including a DS called "J" and never sees them if he can help it. He has been known to give the DD money but not the others.

The eldest ("J") is only eleven. Idiotic bloke has two other children (no job of course) and one on the way with another woman. He wants to call the new baby by "J"'s name - boy or girl. He is adamant about this.

His son knows that he is going to name his newest child "J" as well.

AIBU to think he is a twat?

Vincent van Gogh's parents did a similar thing except the first Vincent had died at birth. They had the same bday too so Vincent 2 saw a headstone with his own name and DoB on it every time he went to church, which was a lot as his dad was the pastor. Never did him any harm .

Your friend is a twat and so is his gf.

Not only is it awful and downright ODD, it's bloody lazy too!
YANBU !

My Great Granny had three brothers called John! (The others kept dying.)

These days, awful though. J isn't dead ffs.

The man is a cruel, calous, twatface.
Does he not care that his son will fucking hate the twunt when he is older.

what an absolute knob jockey! he sounds like an excuse for a human being let alone a father. those poor kids

Oh I will tell him that if I ever see him!

Whilst falling over and accidentally kicking him in the bollocks

yes, a twat, and the woman is a twat for being with him

why are lassies drawn to feckless jobless dad of many?good patter?

Christ alone knows sm.

This behaviour is hitting new lows though don't you think?

cant imagine a compelling reason to get up duff by big ole shagger

but evidently plenty do

Total wanker.

It used to be quite common in ye olde days to have a boy called after an elder brother who'd died, especially if it was the father's name, & Plantagenet royalty quite often had legitimate & illegitimate children sharing a name, but that was back when practically everyone shared about 20 names!

Oh & I know of one family where for peculiar reasons of family tradition, everyone's called 'John Middlename', known as 'Middlename'.

But naming a 'new' child after a living child whom you ignore - this is deeply inappropriate & cruel of him. Horrible.

aye but who thinks he has a gazilliuon weans but wiv me it will be different

Picking up the idea from earlier on, just say, "Oooh, how Michael Jackson of you"

That will put him off.

Um... Will he actually be around to take care of and pay for this new "J"? Or will he bugger off like he did to the rest!

What a twat!!

equal twats are lassies who get up duff by him

I don't agree with what this man is proposing to do, but I also don't think naming a child after a dead Father or Grandfather is making the child a replacement. My sons middle name was my Grandad's (My father figure) and I love that they share the same name. I hope that my DS has his qualities as he grows up and my Grandad was a great role model.

Sometimes it's more about making a connection and wanting to keep part of the person you loved close by, but definitely not about replacing.

In the case with this man, it does seem like he is trying to do it all over again and maybe feels he will do it properly this time, but in doing do totally alianate DS1 and in later life give DS2'j' a guilt trip, when he realises he was used to make his dad feel better.

Slightly confusing here, bear with me...

DSDs Maternal Grandfather remarried when DSD was about 5.

The new wife (Step GM) is called the same as DSD, and didn't want to be referred to as GM, or Nan or whatever. To cap it all she has another GD, close in age to DSD called the same name! DSD gets VERY confused if they are all together!

I have two sets of friends (unreleated) who are steve and jo. Who also have a child called Lauren.
That gets confusing. This guys needs to be given the snip, he obviously doesn't know what to do with it. And he gives blokes a bad name.

"I think it will screw up both children, it makes DS2 seem like some sort of substitute as well, its sick tbh.

Its why I didnt call DS1 after my father (died when I was young) - because he isnt some sort of replacement."

I think it is quite different to name your child adter someone you loved that has sadly passed away. When I was pregnant with DS2 I said to DH "if he is a boy I would like to call him "N". I did not know until then that DH had a brother with that name who died (that was before himself was born) we had a son and called him "N" I totally agree with PenelopePitstopx it is not about replacing but honoring IYSWIM.

Now give two of your children the same name when they are both still alive is really mean as it will be very confusing and will inevitably create competition between them.

I think it's disgusting precisely because of the old tradition of naming a child after somebody who's died. He's saying the first child might as well be dead.

I agree that this guy sounds like an eejet; he should be on Jeremy Kyle.

Maybe he's going to have a stack of children with different willing women and rotate the names so he doesn't forget them?

He sounds like a prize pig.

We had a (somewhat looney) family member have twin girls. Named them something like Mary Jane and Jane Mary. Mary Jane died, so they renamed Jane Mary to Mary Jane after the dead twin... thought that was fucked up enough but this is even nastier.