AIBU or is (D)P (food eating issue)

[TrappedinSuburbia]

Dp moved out just over a month ago, after 5 years of trying we decided couldn't live together anymore.

Dp earns a pretty good salary, whilst I am on a very small amount and rely on tax credits to top me up, I am struggling to stay on top of things, but am fairly disciplined so am managing.

He is really really pissing me off at the moment, he comes in, helps himself to whatever he wants to eat etc, despite me reminding him that what i've got is all I have and don't have money to replace it.

Last weekend he basically got fed breakfast, lunch and dinner here.

This morning, I made him some breakfast as he came up to see ds. He was very tierd after being bevvying with his brother to the early hours and began hinting he could do with a lie down, so I promptly suggested I could run him 'home' so he could get a sleep.

He took a strop with this (because he hinting to get a sleep here) and because I told him off for helping himself to pancakes that I had bought for ds, (he'd already had one btw).

I know the food issue might sound petty, but I am struggling and am having to carefully budget my food shopping to buy the odd treat for ds, im not looking for sympathy or money from him, but i've told him again and again about how careful I need to be and im close to exploding at him. Please help calm me down!!

Just to clarify, we are still a couple and he is NOT ds's biological dad.

YANBU!

yanbu if you dont wany anyone doing this in your home its your right to object. but if you are still a couple then maybe you need establish some ground rules and boundaries, its only been a month and a half and you probably both need a little adjusting.

i would start as you mean to on, early though, as looks like he could take advantage of this situation possibly a case of having his cake and eating it.

whos idea was it for him to move out?

Give him a shelf in your fridge and he can keep his own stuff in it.

"start as you mean to go on"

Gino, it came to a joint decision to move out, I feel I was the main driving force of it though, but he is now saying he was to save face perhaps, I can't be arsed to argue it with him anyway, im just glad we're not living together anymore.

gigglingoblin - no chance!

YANBU.
If he wants to eat at yours, he can buy some food. Next time he comes over, hand him a shopping list and tell him that's his contribution for the week - he can eat it without you having to go without.

It's not petty - when people live in shared accommodation it's fucking annoying when someone else eats your stuff, especially if you can't then afford to buy any more (students etc.) So tell him straight to stop doing it or you won't let him come to the house at mealtimes again (and put a lock on the fridge) - unless he's going to start contributing to the food. TBH, if you're supposedly still a couple, wtf isn't he contributing anyway?? He is royally taking the piss.

i had an on off on off relationship with dds dad before and after she was born and quite frankly it had to end full stop in the end as it was just a piss take on both parts and we lost alot of respect for each other. it just took a while to run its course but wish i had been strong enough to just make a clean break.

We had a great relationship before we made the mistake of moving in, if we can't get back to that, well then..................tis curtains!

Then stand your ground over the food issue, Trapped - or he's going to keep taking the piss, you're going to continue to resent it and there isn't much hope for you getting back to your great relationship.

Oh I am, I've had enough of it, he's being such a dick about it though, he wouldn't even have a coffee after I said about the pancake (after 2 breakfast rolls)!

YANBU

Ask him does he want you to starve or become ill because that's what will happen if you don't have enough to eat.

Is your Ds his, if so is he paying any support?

But to be honest it sounds like he's treating yours as a cafe, he can afford to go out drinking so why cant he buy in some food.
Tell him the food you have has to last a week, if he wants a meal he can chip in

What wrong with him taking ds to McDonalds, a cafe, shopping instead of seeeing him at your place?

YANBU about the food.

But I think YABU to think you can go back to what you had before he moved in.

I don't understand why you would want half a relationship with him, when you could have a proper relationship with someone else... but hey, it's none of my business

(RATS - DS isn't his - she said so up the thread).

tell him to fuck off

Is he contributing - not that that matters but if things are so tight for you maybe he should give you more??

Feckin hate gluttons and people helping themself to food in my house!

Go round to his and raid his fridge, leave him to do the dishes and then what Custardo said

He's not got a house yet, he's staying with his mum, he's just away, even brought his own juice with him, Im not that bad!!!!!!
He did ask if where the rest of the curry was that I made for ds and I's dinner, I told him it was in the freezer! He's probably away to the chippy just now.

Once he gets his own house, god help him, I will see how he likes it (probably once only).

Chippingin - I've never really enjoyed living with anyone.........think thats just me tbh.

Madame - he's not giving me anything.

Nor should he, he's now a lone parent himself.

It sounds like he doesn't want it to be over! Do you think that's possibly behid all this?