to not want to go wedding dress shopping with my sister?

[Astronaut79]

Ok, the facts:
*Work full time so only see Pfb evenigns and weekends.

*Sister getting married next year and doing the full hit. She knows mum and me aren't really in to big weddings (I had a secret wedding)and I think she's a bit disappointed that we aren't sharing every last detail.

*Sister text me yesterday to ask if I'd go and look at some dresses in a shop about an hour's drive away. I don't want to go because it would mean a day (effectively) where I wouldn't see Pfb and the knock on effect would be that I'd have to do usual weekend stuff (chores, work) the next day thus missing child again.

*Still haven't replied. Help!

I'd be mightily pissed off if someone - particularly my sister - told me that housework was more important than wedding dress shopping! Your home won't fall apart if it doesn't get done this weekend!

x post - glad you are going

I think you have made the right decision.

And as for the work- you would have had to do it at some point anyway. Can you get it done at the evening or during your DS's nap time?

Well done Astronaut. Please do feign enthusiasm for the whole thing, for her sake, even if you do not feel it. I bet the two of you end up having a huge amount of fun and laughter today!

Hope you have a good time Astro

If you like your sister, and care about her, go, it's just one day and a big deal for her (the sister you love).

If it were my sister, she wouldn't ask in the first place, but if she did I tell her to go fuck herself. But that is just us.

YANBU to want to be with PFB, but support your sister, if she is a sister you would normally support in stuff.

I wish I had a sister I could share that kind of thing with, so YABU to not want to help/be there for a sister you love (assuming you do!)

Sorry, missed later post.

Correct decision

You never know, you might actually enjoy it - frivolous fun, spending someone else's money (admittedly spending it FOR someone else, but hey still, a bit of a larf)

You've definitely made the right decision here. I hope you and you sister drink lots of free champagne have a lovely time!

you your

Have a lovely time (and try and negotiate a colour scheme that will not involve you wearing a lime green bridesmaid/matron of honour frock).

YANBU
I work full time too and resent demands on my weekend days as I miss out on DS time. Today I'm going to a hen party so missing the afternoon as DBro is having him, and next sat is the wedding so once again missing half of saturday with him. I'm doing it because it's important but when same friend asked me to go dress shopping I made it clear that DS came or I didn't. My friends understand this. Can you go and take PFB with you?
I think the YABU posters on here probably don't understand what it's like when you work full time. I don't want to miss out on seeing DS and I also feel very guilty when I don't see him enough. This is my trade off for having to work full time, my weekends are for DS.

I see you've decided - but FWIW the dress shops were fine with me bringing DS in, as I watched him and made sure he didn't touch anything! I had to take him out a couple of times (and he was about 20mo so a bit more demanding!) I think they got that my friend would be spending £££ so they could put up with a well supervised toddler in the place. The only thing he did was put some fingerprints on the mirror

He then helpfully went to sleep after we had finished so we could go for a cocktail :)

Not being a bridesmaid - there is a very good chance I'll be 6 months pregnant by that point, so I've already had that row discussion.

Not allowed to help with the invites either, apparently the home-made ones to our wedding party live on in family legend.

Will be very good at organising people on the day though.

Eric - I think you're making a huge assumption there about the YABU people. I certainly work full time. I still think it would be apalling of the op not to go - and she is going so alls good.

Eric, I think maybe some of us have slightly older children, or more than one and realise that you need to invest time in other relationships, as well as your child.

But in Eric's (and my) defence, I've lost count of all the people who tell me how quickly time will pass and how I'll never get these moments back etc. Justifying going to work is one thing - I quite like having a roof over my head - 'fun' things tend to make you feel guilty. Besides, who's to know this is the only time she'll be wedding dress hunting? It's taken him 10 years to ask her, and that was only under pressure from his parents.

Ps don't shout at me, not trying to start a row.

If you don't wnt a row then I suggest you keep your thoughts about how likely her marriage is to last to yourself. That's rather unpleasant!

If your children are older, or you have more than one, then you are no longer in the PFB/guilt phase. I don't really care if you think I'm wrong, I am in the OP's position and I would not give up a day with DS for wedding dress shopping. So ner.

I haven't told her that I don't think the marriage will last (don't think dh could handle refereeing that one), it's just that consensus tends to be that she could do much better for herself and that one day she might realise this.

Eric, fine with that. Just pointing out that it's not that we don't understand, just that we are trying to advise based on later experience.

Dandy, course I like my sister. Would'nt've had to ask for advice if I didn't

I've said she's better than the bloke she's marrying. That's supportive! Sort of. ANd that I'll do some general bossing at teh wedding.

I'd've probably made a better brother, tbh.