to NOT tell xp what i spend his maintenance payments on?...

[mumatron]

xp is a knobber.

he had the dc an extra few days last half term, so he took it upon himself to half my maintenance payment.

apparently as they were not here, they did not need 'entertaining' so what did i need the money for?

i tried to explain that the payments are for making sure the dc have everything they need. inc a roof over their heads.

apparently it's for cinema visits and swimming.

the money was going to be used to buy warmer pyjamas and underwear.

apparently i should have more pride and buy it all myself.

would ibu to poke him in the eye?

thats exactly what i told him. the csa work it out using how many night they are there on a regular basis, not spur of the moment sleep overs. he knows this he just doesn't want to pay.

sod him!

He is a twat - but you know that

CSA - £5 he has to pay with no control is better than £15 he pays when he feels he should...

As an aside RANT £5, £5 lousey quid - unless you are homeless and drinking out of a paper bag you can do better than that for your kids... it's so pathetic it's insulting.

he text me earlier saying my money grabbing was sick.

i text back saying 'you give your dc £2 a day is sick, they get that much in pocket money'

i'm just greatful that i have a fab dp that treats my dc amazingly. he would never see them go without.

wasn't always that way though. i didn't get a penny for 2 years in the begining when i was on my own.

I feel your pain, I thought my ex DP was a twunt but yours takes the biscuit! I get the princely sum of £30 per week for DD which is a fortune compared to what you get I guess but still pretty rubbish. He tells me he's skint but has just built a huge timber framed barn on his land......hmm figure that one out. And I have had the 'have more pride' comment too, he has 2 kids with 2 different women who have never expected money out of him (in return for him having nothing to do with the kids), so thinks the fact that I do expect him to cough up makes me somehow weak.

We have been split up over 5 years now and I have just learnt to live with it. He can justify it to DD when she gets older, that's the way I see it.

i do try to remind myself that the dc will be able to see for themselves what he is like. but i really begrudge them going there when it's like this. i don't have the heart to refuse access and i'm already feeling guilty that they haven't gone there this weekend.

i asked dd and she didn;t want to go and ds wanted to stay with his friends.

god i need to get a grip!!

How old are your dc?

ds is 10 and dd is 6.

God it's so hard isn't it...my dd is 6 too and she did go through a stage of not wanting to stay with him but now she does again. He has no clue at all what it takes to bring her up, he gets a bag of clean clothes with her and she comes back with a bag of dirty clothes, he never even cleans her teeth, he is basically just a (bad) babysitter once a fortnight. Would be far easier for me if she stopped contact with him but like you I don't feel like I can do that. But kids aren't daft and even if they don't appreciate the reality of the situation now they will in the future.

£15 pw -- for 2 kids, money grabbing... I'm all but wetting myself over that one!

DD didn't want to go
DS wanted to stay with his friends

What exactly are you feeling guilty about?

Stop it!

You can't change the fact that your kids father is a twat, but they have a good home with you, a Father figure that loves them - they'll work it out and be fine.

Go and spend some time with your lovely DP, your ex in not worth this much of your time & energy.

i'm just tired and over emotional (pg and not sleeping)

i don't blame the new gf though, i have known her a long time and so has he. he knew she is a nutter had issues before he got involved. lots of lying etc. he went on a stag do in ibiza recently and i was the 1st person she phoned .

aibu to secretly wish they would emigrate to another country

No YANBU

I'd be sizing up the neighbours veggie plot myself...

£15 a week is money grabbing... I'm lost for words... If the GF has a baby with him, maybe he will realise how much children cost... Although probably not... too much of a mental leap for him. Fucking hell.