to think ex is a fucking idiot?

[winnybella]

DS spends alternate weeks with me and ex, turnover day being Friday after school.

DS went to school today and ex was supposed to pick him up (as usual).

I started wondering where were they as they always come by to pick up DS's Nintendo ds and few other bits and pieces.

I get a phone call from ex at 5.20 (50 minutes after pick up time) screaming at me that he tought we have agreed that there was no school today.

There was a public holiday yesterday, so no school, but I've never talked to him about not sending DS today .

I mean, why would you even get such an idea?

So poor DS was waiting outside of school, thank God he had enough sense to go back to school and the head called ex. I think DS waited for a long time outside.

Anyway, it can happen to anyone to forget what time it is and be late for pick up, perhaps, but inventing such a ridiculous story to cover up your fuck up?

Ex is a bit of an abusive twat anyway, but have been doing my utmost to have civilised relationship with him, as he's DS's father yada yada yada.

So, AIBU to be pissed off?

yanbu sweetheart
i had 4yeares of abusive relationship with x (and now that i can stand up tyo him (95% of the time) he doesn't like it) those that haven't been there don't understand (((())))

*years

Ok fair enough ( for the record I've been there too). Yanbu. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that as your dc father you have to find a way to stop letting it get to you because you are bonded forever as you have a dc together.

And sorry I missed the screaming part. That's unreasonable.

He's being an utter twat and of course YANBU.

We all make mistakes - but that's not the problem is it. It's the lying, making up stupid excuses then treating you like you are stupid enough to believe them! That would piss me off - him thinking I am that stupid.

We don't know what he said to DS in the car, so it's hard to know whether he apologised properly or not... but from his attitude at yours, I doubt it

His behaviour towards you isn't acceptable, but have a glass of wine, let it go and celebrate not being with the prat anymore!

Other than today (of course!) how has the arrangement been working for you and how long have you been doing it for? (Just interested as I had friends who did this, but most other people seem to think it's a BadIdea - feel free to ignore me ).

Hairy-agree re being civil as he's DS's dad. Pity that it's onlu me who thinks so, though.

ChippingIn-Surprisingly, it's been working out fine. We've been doing it for over 4 years now (DS is 8). We live close to each other-about a mile apart. DS seems happy with the arrangement, definitely better than when we were together and I think better than if he only saw his father for 2 weekends a month, as he loves him very much and looks up to him etc. He's got 2 rooms, 2 sets of toys etc. Now I'm with DP and have a DD -he adores them both. I have to say I am concerned about ex's influence- he's very arrogant and often rude-and I'm seeing that in DS, as do the teachers, but on the whole DS seems happy ish.

I think any issues here stem rather from ex's behaviour, than from the arrangement itself, iyswim. If the parents are both civilised and get along, and live close to each other, then I think it's a good idea. Not for toddlers, though, as they need imo one primary carer, one house etc.

hairy - sorry sweetheart

winny - i too try to be civil to dd's father, he doesn't always see it like that though lol he tries to be civil if it suits him and he's trying to get some sort of reaction