to want to have a female birth partner

[lollypoplady]

I had my stepmum at the birth of 1st DC, she was excellent, really calm and I felt comfortable with her advice as she's been through childbirth herself. 2nd DC DH was my birth partner (he very much wanted to be there) and much as I love him and wanted him there to hold my hand and witness the birth of his child it wasn't as good as having stepmum there, I could tell he was worried (understanably) & anxious seeing me in so much pain. DC 3 is due in a few weeks and DH really wants to be there but I would rather have stepmum, I could have both I suppose but don't want DH to feel pushed out(no pun intended) AIBU?

I was single when I gave birth, so had my mum there, and a family friend/neighbour (female) was also there as back up - primarily so that my mum could go and have a break if it went on for a long time!

Prior to the birth, I had several appts with consultants, snr registrars and midwives, adn they ALL said 'women who labour supported by other women tend to have better labours and less intervention'. It was true for me - had v blissful 3.5 hr active stage, felt v calm and supported throughout. mum and friend were there, but not obtrusive, and importantly, neither of them appeared anxious about anything or tried to get things to 'move on'.