to be pissed off at my husband job searching at the kitchen table

[raffiiscool]

when we have a perfectly good study.

Basically because I can see him and he is under my feet I resent the time he has every day.

He is between jobs so, yes, it is very important that he get peace and quiet and time to job search. He is working at home most of the day - at the kitchen table.

I get 4 hours child free a week during the day (DS's 2 & 4) and am trying to pursue avenues for me (feature writing). I didn't leave my last job voluntarily and am in the middle of a stressful maternity discrimination claim.

Tonight was a good case in point -it's 4.45, I'm trying to cook a roast chicken dinner kids are acting up a bit in the lounge. I'm a bit harassed and he is tapping away at the computer at the kitchen table tying to phase it all out. I want him to work out of sight in the study and have told him - he doesn't want to.

I have told him that I resent him and sitting at the table getting under my feet is making it worse but he thinks I am a bit neurotic - am I?

Yes and no. I can see where you are coming from, even though its his house too etc etc and its great that he's jobsearching, and the like.

yes, you are.

Its kind of cute though because he must really like you and want to be around you. You have a fan!

Yep.

why doesn't he want to be in the study? Wouldn't he get more done with a bit of peace and quiet?
It would do my head in to have him sitting there in the middle of everything. Why not compromise and ask him to kindly get out of the way when things are particularly busy in the kitchen but invite him back when it's calmer.

Or "accidentally" spill hot roast chicken fat all over his computer? He'll soon get the message.

I have a home office but often work on the dining room table, better light from the patio doors and a nice view of the garden. I am also often told I am in the way there

No you're not being unreasonable. DH often works from home & insists on either sitting on the sofa to work or at dining table (in living room) & then complains when dc (3 & 6mths) make noise when he's on the phone etc!!! We gave a perfectly good study too that he can use. It is VERY annoying.

It's nice having him at home to help with mealtimes & bathtime but annoying too. I also then feel guilty about putting my feet up & watching a bit of telly when the kids are having a nap.

As long as your DH isn't complaining about you continuing with your life, maybe let him continue to do it in the kitchen for a while.

I work in recruitment and job searching when unemployed seems to make a lot of people feel depressed and isolated. Perhaps he wants to be around his family to keep his spirits up?

If he's genuinely in the way (i.e. its hard to get around him) then fair enough, but if you just don't want to see him, would let this one slide. It's a small battle.

why don't you go to the study?

What reason does he give for not liking the study ?

Why don't you use the study for your research and leave him to it?

Thanks for the input - I can see I probably am being a bit irrational now...

I would love to go to the study but I am a SAHM mum and my 2 boys fight! On the other hand maybe I should lock myself away [smile} I think that Mahraih got it in one - I know myself it is boring an isolating at times being out of work and he wants to feel part of things!

It is me, not him that has the problem with this and really it is about the lack of time that I get during the week that is the problem I think.

YABU, He is looking for a job not playing on the computer. Why shopuld he have to shut himself away in the study

YANBU, my husband sits at the table fiddling round with his mobile and it is just one of those irrational things that irritates me.

I can understand how it gets on your nerves, surely it must be distracting for him as well, perhaps if he did his job hunting in hte study in a concentrated way then he would have some time to help you?

YABU, his house, confinig him to 1 room sounds very controlling. Let him deal with the kids as well.

YABVVVVU. Sorry.