ok so i am torn with this one, but jumping on furniture...

[brokeoven]

My dad says that i am an "exception to the rule" because i allow my son to take the cusions off the sofa to put on the carpet to avoid the crocodiles that we have in the swamp that is my living room, These are used as stepping stones.

Other kids were round at the time and they were having great fun.

i didnt see the problem.

DS is absolutely NOT allowed to do this in other peoples homes, and actually has never even attempted to do this, He knows the rules.

But the parents of the other kids were quite clearly disgusted at me allowing this.

So was i doing something wrong, Imaginary play is important and they put the cusions back when the other parents demanded that they stop.

I felt awkward and embarrased and uncomfortable, like i had allowed these kids to take a shit in the middle of my living room!

aibu?

op YANBU.

the one thing my mother taught me ( and as far as parenting goes it wasn't a lot) was fun.

my mother got a bowl full of washing up suds and let my son (then 3ish) "paint" the doors with a roller.

if my kids drew on the walls - i thought it was my falt for leaving the pens where they could reach and wasn't bothered.

now they are all vandals and have been imprisoned for anti social behaviour

not really. i can assure you that cushions remain on settee and they no longer draw on walls.

Your sofa, your rules.....

Mine aren't allowed to jump on the sofa or clamber on the arms, but this is mainly because they're big hulking 7/9/11 year-olds and would probably break it. And then there would be no pocket money for a very long time!!

But the dds are massively into den-building, and gather every cushion, rug, dining chair and towel in the house into the centre of the living room on a regular basis. I tolerate it for a while but then eventually blow my top at the mess (usually when I can't get to the sofa to have a sit down), and it all has to go away.

The covers are all washable, though, and none of the furniture in my house is so precious that I couldn't let the dcs use it. How stressful that would be.

My DH goes bananas when the dcs do the same thing. I think it's lovely for children to be allowed to do this (I allow it when DH is not around!), they get more fun out of it than from expensive toys!

So YANBU!

I used to play with the cushions as a child, they were stepping stones, asteroids and clouds
And we made tents from a couple of chairs with a brush across and a blanket then were in deepest darkest Africa (with juice and biscuits) hiding from lions
And the rug was a magic flying carpet, or a cloud or a space ship. or a car or a train or an island..

We were NOT allowed to jump on the setee or beds

My kids did the same things

My kids loving playing with the sofa cushions on the floor. They have great fun avoiding the lava and it's a great way to burn off their immense amounts of energy it's too early/late/wet to go outside. I can't imagine childhood without den building. My four year old is often to be found "hiding" underneath a pile of cushions next to the sofa. He thinks it's hilarious.

I have a very robust ikea sofa. I'll wait until they're old enough to go to the park alone before I upgrade to something less robust and more attractive.

YANBU, nothing wrong with using a few cushions as play things. DS (2.9) likes to do this now and again. They aren't going to come to any harm, the cushions aren't going to get damaged.

DS would never try it in someone elses home. These people are being OTT, its not like you are letting them run around scribbling all over the walls! Cushions can be easily put back again.

I would let mine put cushions on the floor if only we didn't have a very hairy dog that sheds lots of fur and a dh whose eczema gets worse when he sits on cushions covered with dog hair!

yanbu. One of my favourite childhood memorires is shark infested custard.

other parents - nil, you -one.

Nope, absolutely no playing with or on the furniture here. We have 'good' furniture and Ikea furniture, and it is for sitting on.

Plenty of toys to play with, clothes airer, play table and stools etc to make camps with. But not the furniture.

I don't think that's particularly strict. Likewise, I discourage running in the house. They can put their coats in an run around the garden.

But it seems I am an old bag

I don't mind cushions on the floor, or them sitting on the arms (bit hard to object to that when it's where I perch half the time!!), but I don't allow jumping on anything - not beds nor settees. They can't really do any harm standing on the cushions on the floor (as long as it's not covered in pet hair, or wooden floors that get dusty/dirty).

However, all kids should understand the concept of 'house rules' by the time they are 3.

YANBU.

AS others say, house rules apply- you absolutely have the right to say what is acceptable in your own house. If the other children can't understand that this doesn't automatically apply in their own homes, then the parents are doing something wrong.

No jumping on the sofas here or swinging on the reclining chair. Cushions is OK though. Cushions can be replaced, sofas can't without considerable cost .

Don't allow climbiing on beds or dining chairs/ table either but DS has a midsleeper so its a bit dangerous tbh.

OP YANBU, sounds fun and if cushions are used in a game then yes it is different to them being slung around just for the sake of it.

Mine are allowed to play with the cushions, but not climb on the furniture.
However, we never do it when we have guests round. I've never really thought about why.

Mine made forts and threw rolled up socks at each other (snowball fight without the freezing fingers). Also various dens, castles, caves, trains, planes and ocean liners. And one really big doll hospital with cushions as beds.

And the other parents were very U to tell your child what he could or could not do in his own house.

perfectly happy to have kids take cushions off to use as dens or stepping stones or islands etc. lovely to watch and usually much easier to clear up afterwards than loads of trainset/cars/lego/etc that could have otherwise been emptied across the carpet .

but hate kids jumping on furniture. can remember years ago, sil and family came to visit, long before we had any kids. bil was actually jumping dn (maybe 3yrs old) up and down on sofa and across to ottoman and back again - even after I'd asked him to stop as the sofa wasn't up to it - it wasn't and he ruin the spring of a really good sofa (the kid and dad were really going for it). Seems I'd asked too nicely - he just thought I was worrying about the kid being hurt and said no, she'd be fine, she was really enjoying it .

Not wanting to be a nag and not sure what to say next to get through to him (didn't really know the bil or sil very well at all at this point) I then sent dp in to try to get him to sort it out but he wouldn't as he didn't see the problem .

Still rankles to this day (as you can probably tell by this rant!) and I still don't know sil and family very well as they live a long way away and feel very uncomfortable in their presence.

And having had kids in the interim has just reinforced my belief that he was in the wrong - no way would I let my kids jump up and down on anybody's furniture - if I catch them doing it they are swiftly told off¬

Don't think the parents were unreasonable to stop their child jumping on your furniture either.

If, like me, they don't think it's the right thing to do (regardless of who owns the furniture or whether it's old) then they have every right to tell their child to stop doing it.

No need to be 'obviously disgusted' OP, but no reason to just let it go because you don't mind.

dgs always uses cushions from sofa and chairs to build houses and dens etc-mind you that is only from suite in playroom[aka front room] which was passed on from me.

Ahh - cushions on the sofa ????

This is an amazing new concept - not sure it would be understood in this house at all!!!

Cushions are for building dens, making stepping stones, battling with.....

I love my sofa's - I love my cushions - I love my house - but in no way am I precious about it.

A tidy house is a wasted life.

Joseph, aged nearly 5, spent an evening recently building a "tarnish" (sic) like on Doctor Who using our sofa cushions. Then it switched to the Millenium Falcon as we fled from "Dark Vader"! More power to it, I say!

oh dear, today we have Luke skywalker in the misty bog with Yoda in our living room. The bog monster is attempting to eat the whole family.

I could throw dh & ds to the swamp monster but luckily we have got the force and the force is placing the cusions onto the bog.
Thus forming an escape route...phew....

Sigh...the mess

Never mind the mess! I once saw a fridge magnet that said, "Tidying the house when the kids are growing is like shovelling snow in a blizzard." Personally, I have a needlepoint in my hall that reads, "Only very dull women have immaculate houses." That actually predates the child!

DC are banned from taking cushions off of sofas but only because they don't put them back so I have to because I find it tedious to have to wade thru so many (DH insists on having a lot) unless I pick them all up.

I dislike the sofas we currently have so am increasingly lax about telling DC off for climbing about on them (was also banned in the past with sofas I did like). I'd go mental if they tried to stand on the dining room table (because of possible permanent damage, and DS-2yo would copy and it's too risky for him).

I don't give a fudge what you do in your house, as long as you don't ask me to pick it up!

I think YABU and your father is quite correct. Children have their own toys - and sofas and cushions aint toys!

YANBU my DS loves making dens with all the cushions off the sofa. I am a bit anal and would prefer a nice tidy house all the time but it really doesn't matter and is worth it for the fun he has!