to think that school plays and other non curricular activities should be inclusive?

[PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker]

DS1 has just come home with the four lines he has to learn for an assembly. He said he wanted to be one of the four soldiers, but he's a narrator instead. Before he named the four soldiers I could have listed them myself, the four most able boys in the class. Am I unreasonable to think that a good teacher would use instances like this to include pupils that aren't top of the class? It wouldn't have mattered if DS1 hadn't been picked if it was four other boys, but the same four as always just seems a bit lazy.

The teacher has asked to borrow DS1's coat for one of the soldiers....talk about insult to injury.

I positively wanted to be back row of the chorus as a DC and a mother who wanted me to shine on centre stage would have been a nightmare!

Honestly.....this is making me laugh. AIBU should be renamed how can I best disagree with the OP. Obviously some children don't want to stand out or shine in whichever way, but many do and to pretend that it's always a mother's projection is frankly stupid.

I don't know why I keep responding to the not so subtle suggestions that this is about my DS and me, it's clearly not. But if you want to get all uppity and twisty about it carry on, it's funny.

Riven, I am wondering what sort of mother would want their child picked for a play if the child hated it.....you have some weird ideas.

At DD1's first school, the drama teacher's daughter had the starring role. Every fucking year, in every fucking production. A group of mothers complained vociferously the fourth year this happened and she was relegated to the chorus. I have it on good authority that said drama teacher had a huge hissy fit about this and resigned shortly afterwards.

Posy - my mother would have!

Posie - you should have kept your op general if you didn't want people to home in on the particular...

My mother used to slap my legs to make me dance at parties. So you can imagine how much I have always loved dancing...

I had this when I was at school.

We had traditional end of year musical production (was senior girls school). The final play was the year that the school was closing down. The drama teacher had her group of favoured pupils- all with SAHM mothers who would be lurking about the school a lot whilst. By strange coincidence they were all friends and by even stranger coincidence they were all the lead roles in the play. These girls were cliquey and by doing that all the girls not in the inner circle were both excluded and intimated by them. it made joining in to do the small part that I had very hard as I was so external to the proceedings. I didnt want to be the lead role at all but by choosing this group everyone else was excluded indirectly. My confidence was battered hugely by that exclusion.

All good for drama teacher though- she got her favourites and the non working mums rushing abouut doing things for her. Hooray.

*intimidated

OK, let's say you're right OP. Let's say that the same kids are chosen for soldiers every year or whatever (hardly the starring role I'd have thought, but let's leave that aside).

Let's say that we think it's irrelevant if the actors in the play can be understood or heard by the audience, or can sing or whatever. Or that children chosen for the football team can kick the ball or that musicians in the orchestra can actually play an instrument.

In other words, let's say we agree with you OP.

Isn't this sort of occasion - ie not getting the role you want and seeing other (more able) children getting it year after year - a learning opportunity? Vast majority of pupils will not get the role they want in the school play - that's life. Parents will always perceive favoritism - that's life. Now go be the best narrator the school's ever seen my son.

GiraffeYoga - totally agree with you - but it's a bit different talking about teenage girls in a senior school.

What I think you're talking about is the classic 'ballet school mafia' phenomenon whereby a teacher becomes dependent on certain parent helpers and so makes their children the stars of her shows. So it is an inbred, unhealthy, exclusive clique. Very nasty.

ooh thanks goof - was feeling a bit edgy after my post as it sounded so bitter!

You are right though- very diffrent to the school soldiers things.

I am inclined to say YANBU to the OP- but sugegst your son gets the most he can out of the narrator's part. I would have loved something so important!

Actually DS is very happy being a narrator....he's now got a broken finger and so looks like a veteran!!

DD's first primary was inclusive. They had a music evening and anyone was allowed to do anything. It went on for hours and hours, with 90% of the pupils being completely dreadful.

There were some rehearsed pieces with the choir, and a couple of the pupils were clearly talented at their instruments. The recorders were all mixed so that those who'd only picked up the thing in order to do something at the concert were playing advanced pieces with the one child who had actually been learning for years (and was good) so that she was generally drowned out by the others' screeches and whistles.

The guitar group hadn't tuned their instruments.

The band of synthesiser, bass and drums had clearly only played together for a few days and none of them had played any instrument (or even sung) before. They didn't know what piece they were playing so had 3 or 4 false start and some slightly heated discussions.

And so it went on.

At last, we were treated to pupils who wanted to dance. Many many many many many of them. In 1s, 2s, 3s etc. All with the same track playing. Each group doing more or less the same things, generally badly. Lots of elbows.

It was a bad dream.

Contrast that with dd's next primary school.

There was a eukele orchestra; any child who wanted to be in it was in it. The teacher chose a piece with 3 chords. The newest learners knew one chord. They had rehearsed a lot so they knew when to play 'their' chord. The piece lasted about 2minutes. It was a delight.

The choir (again any child who wanted to be in it was in it) had 5 songs, with harmonies, interspersed throughout the evening.

The violin group were organised like the eukele orchestra.

The children who were learning the guitar were organised in the same way.

There was a very talented violinist who soloed a piece with some of the newer learners, who played on open strings as accompaniment.

Similar with a talented guitarist.

All instruments were tuned.

Apart from the violin piece, nothing went on for more than 2 minutes. Some things were only 30 seconds or so (the new violinists playing open strings).

It was fab.

DD came bouncing out of school, absolutely beaming 3 weeks ago -

"Mummy, they've given the parts out for our Diwali assembly and I'm so lucky - it's only me and four other girls who don't have to speak! I'm a candle!!"

She was overjoyed, as her idea of hell is to have any kind of attention focused on her (as a keen amdram performer myself I'm not sure who this strange child is and why she's related to me, but hey...).

And she was a lovely Diwali candle - her jumping up into position was done with such enthusiasm it still made me burst with pride...

If she were made Mary or an Angel in the nativity she would curl up and die, despite being otherwise confident, intelligent, yada yada yada. I'm praying that the teacher realises this and despite her blonde hair and blue eyes (and being only 1 of 2 Catholics in the class) she gets a sheep/shepherd/background part...

DD was picked as Angel Gabriel almost every year.

I'm convinced it was because she was so tiny and ...well...angelic...then she would open her mouth and bellow like the little girl in the Trio ad.