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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think 12 hours in a car is a pretty miserable way for a 3 yo to spend a weekend with grandma?

46 replies

Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 11:09

Dd1 is supposed to be staying with grandma this weekend. Been planned for ages. She goes once a month or so for a night but this time my mum said she would take her 2 nights to make more of a weekend of it. She hasn't been for ages & this coincided with me needing someone to look after dd so I could volunteer at the nct sale (I'll also have dd2).

My mum lives about 2.5 hrs away. Usually we meet at services halfway but I suggested to my mum that she come just a little bit further & meet us at my MIL's as I now have dd2 7 weeks & don't want to spend 3 hours (round trip) driving.

Anyway my mum has just said that she is picking my sis & nephew up from the airport on Saturday. That is at least 2.5 hrs away from her. So by the time we heve driven to Mil's which is a slight detour, her and my mum driven to mum's, driven to the airport and back then back to ours on Sunday that she will have spent 10-12 hours driving which is a bit crap for a 3 yo. My mum doesn't seem to think anything of it.

I've questioned it & my mum doesn't see the problem , but said she would have her next weekend instead if I would prefer. That's fine but I needed someone to look after dd this weekend. Am now going to have to ask one of my sil's which is what I was going to do anyway buy could have arranged weeks ago if I had known Angry. AIBU to be a bit miffed?

OP posts:
Bluebell99 · 10/11/2010 12:32

Do you not have a friend who could look after your dd whilst you helped at the sale? Or maybe your sil could have her for a couple of hour while you did the sale. it sounds like it isn't an ideal time for your dd to go to grandma.

Ormirian · 10/11/2010 12:33

What do you want your mum to do though bumper? It sounds as if she is trying to make everyone happy.

Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 12:33

I honestly don't expect her to change her plans. I just wish she had thought about this and let me know sooner so I could make other arrangments.

OP posts:
bigchris · 10/11/2010 12:36

Seems quite simple to me

'dear nct my childcare for Saturday as fallen through I'll no longer be able to volunteer on saturday' job done

Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 12:38

No one else who can have her. If my sil can do it it will have to be over night as she is 45 mins away & I have to be there for 9am. It's not even about the childcare like I said. I'm just surprised my mum thinks this is a good idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 12:40

But I want to do the sale. I've been waiting ages to get stuff for the dds.

OP posts:
Ormirian · 10/11/2010 12:44

Perhaps she doesn't feel like it's a good idea though. Perhaps she just thinks it's the best she can do in the circumstances. Yes, she had agreed to look after your DD but then she got asked another favour that she didn't feel she could refuse.

moomaa · 10/11/2010 12:49

I understand you wanting to do the sale. I buy nearly all my DCs xmas presents there and it makes a huge difference to the finances.

I think check out sil/other babysitting options then send her to your mum if they don't work out. All that driving isn't the end of the world as a one off, and it's your mum that will have to deal with a non sleeper at the end of the day! I can understand why your mum didn't say anything, she probably doesn't think it's a big deal.

DinahRod · 10/11/2010 12:50

Yes it's a silly idea to spend 12 hours in a car. Hope SIL can help out for a few hours or you can keep dd entertained at the nct sale.

Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 13:05

'I buy nearly all my DCs xmas presents there and it makes a huge difference to the finances.'

Glad it's not just me moomaa Blush but I refuse to brave the bunfight that is the sale with all the plebs non-volunteers Grin. I would rather spend 5 hours helping out. If I have to take both DVDs will have to just set DD1 up with DVD's and stap DD2 to me.

OP posts:
Blu · 10/11/2010 13:12

YANBU, I don't like children sitting in cars all day unnecessarily - just ask your SIL to have your children while you do the NCT sale. Your um didn't realise it was an issue, she thought she was doing you a favour, you would rather your do not do al that driving about, so that's fine - I don't think you need to be fed up with your Mum.

Don't take your 3 yo to the NCT Sale- it IS impossible to get done what you need to, and it pisses off the other volunteers Grin

EdgarAirbombPoe · 10/11/2010 14:12

i wouldn't be particularly bothered - although its alot of car time, depending onyour DD, she might enjoy looing at the scenery drift by, have a snooe, then the excitement of the airport....etc. If she was aat home life wouldn't be that interesting, surely? I mean the normal run of a toddler weekend isn't exactly thrill-seeking (walk, shop, cbeebies, repeat)...

greentig3r · 10/11/2010 15:41

YANBU. You obviously appreciate what your mother does for you. I'd agree that it sounds like a rubbish way to spend a weekend. It sounds like your mother is trying to do best by everyone and it just hasn't occurred to her how much of the weekend your DD will be in the car.

You could ask DD what she thinks, she might think it's a cool idea- I know I liked being in the back of a car watching the scenery, it felt kind of cosy. If she agrees and comes back complaining of how bored she was, then it's a learning experience.

Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 15:55

She has the freedom to move around at home and play etc. She gets carsick so no mags dvd players etc.

Anyway, one of my SILs is having DD Friday night which is great and my mum is having dd next week. Problem solved. Thanks for the replies (the non-rude ones anyway).

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 15:59

Sorry, that random reply was to Edgar.

OP posts:
FindingMyMojo · 10/11/2010 16:03

I think 12 hours in car for 3 year old is horrible!!!!!!! I hate to think how unnecessarily miserable DD would be in that situation. I'd avoid it if I could personally.

QuintessentialShadows · 10/11/2010 16:05

YABU TOtally and UTTERLY.

NCT would be mortified if they knew your precious 3 year old were spending 12 hours in the car for you to mann a stall for a few hours.

Get your priorities right, woman!

Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 16:09

Um, QS I think you've missed my point. I never wanted DD to do all the travelling, that's why I have told my mum I don't want her doing it. I would have just taken both of them to the sale if I could get anyone to look after DD1.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 10/11/2010 16:14

sorry, just shooting from my hip here, and misuderstood.

Original poster
Bumperlicious · 10/11/2010 16:19

No problem.

OP posts:
Jammyrella · 10/11/2010 17:14

HUGE HIJACK HERE!

Bumper - not seen you in ages and ages and seem to have lost your number so just using this chance to say hello and would you like to meet up again at some point? We an come over to your town if that works for you. (June 2007 Jammy here btw with a slightly different name) Have no idea what we are doing for the next few weeks but would be lovely to see you again and meet new LO

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