To be angry with the nursery

[JanetPlanet]

Today when I picked DS up from nursery his key worker commented that she 'didn't know how we coped with him!!' This isnt the first time the nursery staff have mentioned how 'in to everything' he is. He 19 months old and full of beans. It concerns me that the little boy I adore, and think of funny and fantastic company, may be perceived as being naughty in nursery. I dont think he's all that different from other boys his age but their comments have made me ask if he's disruptive, or a problem, or ADHD. I'm considering taking him out of nursery but I'm a student near the end of my course. AIBU? Not sure what to do.

Sounds perfectly normal to me. I wouldn't read too much into their comments, some kids are more inquisitive and lively than others - that doesn't make them disruptive or naughty. They probably don't mean anything by it.

Speak to the owner. Find out if there is a problem. Does your boy need to have some boundaries set? If so, better now than later. If you don't feel the chemistry is right then move him.

Did she mean naughty or was she just making friendly chat at how energetic he is and you must be knackered.

My youngest is 2 yr old is a real handful and depending on the context it was said in, if it was my son's keyworker I'd think she was joking with me about how spirited he is.

I was going to say that I think you are over-reacting. However, I suppose it depends on the 'tone of voice' and I wasn't there to know.

It's the sort of thing I would say and all I would mean is that he's very 'full on' - it doesn't mean that I don't find him adorable, funny, lovely, or anything else.

I am often asked how i get through my day by creche and preschool staff - i take it as a compliment that my DD1 is so inquisitive, chatty and into everything. Are you sure they are saying it in a negative way?

If you are concerned then speak to them, don't just withdraw him from a familiar environment - that is a knee jerk reaction which doesn't help anyone. Least of all your DS if he does have something which can be 'diagnosed' and then properly supported

Have you asked whether or not his "full of beans" attitude impacts negatively on the other children? I was a bit upset when our DS (now 2.8) went through a phase of pushing other children (thought it meant we were bad parents), but the nursery were completely frank with us about it so that we could reinforce correct behaviour at home. He's still rather boisterous, especially at nursery, but has started to realise that if he behaves in a way which hurts or upsets other children, he'll get told off (which he hates).

Rather than getting angry or taking him out of nursery (which would make things difficult for you), maybe you should ask the key workers for some advice on how to help the situation. If they're experienced nursery workers, they'll have seen much worse and should have some helpful ideas.

Ask her what she means - communication is the key

one of the girls at my DS3's nursery said this to me when my twins were back that for half term holiday club. "how do you cope?" I simply said, "wine, cake and drugs!"

I know if I find them hard work, then other people outside of immediately family must find them intolerable! I do however pay them handsomely to take them off my hands for 8 hours a day, so am eternally grateful!

She was probably just exhausted after a trying day with your boisterous DS and all the other toddlers she has to deal with too - I would paste it up to experience personally.

Yes ask her what she means as a pp suggested. If it was a one off comment she might have just been making conversation and not realise that she has offended you. I would only take issue with it if these sort of comments become a running theme and your child is being labelled as a result.

Thanks for your replies. DH and I feel that it's starting to become a theme. Will speak to them about it tomorrow.