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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be considering nursery and work tomorrow

21 replies

pommedeterre · 09/11/2010 11:03

Tomorrow is first day back at work with dd (nearly 8 months) at nursery for 10 hours.
Settling in sessions have gone well, no concerns.
She has had snotty nose for what seems like forever. Last Thurs took her to doc as she had got some snot in her eye and it had gone pink. Declared not infectious.
Fine in herself.
Sunday night suddenly clingy and unhappy, huge spew, temp of 38 C.
Since then no more spew and temp 37C. Very clingy and last night a few crying sessions. Both unusual. Temp now at 37.7C. Have given calpol yesterday and one dose of nurofen just now.
Docs app at 4pm today. If they find nothing AIBU in going ahead with work/nursery tomorrow?? First day in the office, would look such a numnut if cancelled. Would love to not go and stay with dd but feel would be jeopardising great deal i have cut with them.
ARGHH

OP posts:

ConnorTraceptive · 09/11/2010 11:05

If she has a temp and still needs calpol or neurofen tomorrow then sorry but she should not be a t nursery for 10 hours.

TryLikingClarity · 09/11/2010 11:05

I think if I were you I'd go to work/ put DD in nursery.

I feel your pain though, my DS is 8 months old and I'm due to start back in January.

All the best for starting back, you'll be grand.

TryLikingClarity · 09/11/2010 11:08

Forgot to say: wait and see what doc says before making up your mind. Maybe ring work today to forewarn them that there's a chance you might not be in.

Her temp does seem to be getting back to normal tho.

FWIW, I've noticed this past week that my DS is getting more clingy; I think it's just the age they are at.

gingernutlover · 09/11/2010 11:08

assuming her temp is not up tomorrow and the doctor finds nothing wrong/infectious then yes you should go to work and she should go to nursery.

I would bet money on the fact she will be ill before xmas anyway so good idea to go into work as much as possible since its likely you will need some time off when she does get ill.

If you are having to give her calpol/nurofen to keep her temp down then it's worth speaking to the nursery to ask their policy, mine was always happy to give one dose of calpol in a day and keep dd there if it helped. If it didnt or if she needed more than one, they would send her home

Good luck at doctors and good luck back at work if you get there.

Chil1234 · 09/11/2010 11:08

Rather than you miss your first day back at the office, and rather than send a poorly baby to nursery why doesn't your partner/husband take the day off work and look after baby?

gingernutlover · 09/11/2010 11:09

just a thought, do you have a dh/dp/MIL or anyone else who could have her tomorrow if she isnt 100%? I know my boss wouldnt have been impressed whatsoever if I didnt turn up on my first day back.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 09/11/2010 11:09

YANBU to consider it. See what the doctor says this afternoon. If she's not infectious and isn't sick again then I would send her to nursery. It's over 48 hours since she was sick so that shouldn't be a risk to the other children. If she gets worse during the day the nursery will call you. That's not ideal on your first day either but at least your employer will think you've shown willing by going in and is likely to be more sympathetic.

Hope DD is better soon and that your return to work goes well.

Original poster

pommedeterre · 09/11/2010 11:17

Thanks guys. it's such a difficult one isn't it? My mum and MIL are both 2.5-3.5 hours car journey away. MIL can't drive so she's out. My mum might be able to organise it but it would be quite an ask and such late notice given that I won't be sure until after the appointment this pm.
DH has got two days off booked Monday and Tuesday. he might be able to move one but his work is really hard at the moment (and he runs the place) so would be a difficult time to have a day off. He also thinks I should see my work as a 'hobby' but that's a different thread entirely.

Should have taken her to docs yesterday but temp was fine and bar not drinking much milk (though we have that issue when she's well too) was just clingier than normal. TryLikingClairty - I have wondered if some kind of separation anxiety possibly triggered by settling in sessions has coincided with Sunday night.

OP posts:

firefrakkers · 09/11/2010 11:21

YANBU - she's been clear of D&V for 48 hours and if her temp is normal and she's not infectious then she should go.

See if you can give nursery a letter authorising them to give calpol with your spoken permission and you will sign a med log at the end of the day.

It's your first day back. It's important.

firefrakkers · 09/11/2010 11:22

That last was aimed at your DH btw. Nothing is more important than your DD's health but there's no reason why you should be the one who has to make sacrifices and your work is important too.

TryLikingClarity · 09/11/2010 12:56

OP - I don't think your DD is being clingy cuz of you trying to get her settled into nursery.

I think it may be a mix of that, her teething, her sickness working on her, and other factors.

I have noticed that teething makes my DS more clingy, his cheeks are bright red today as there is a 2nd tooth waiting to pop through the gum.

Also, at this age they are more aware of their surroundings and that may mean that your DD and my DS are acting clingy. There's nothing wrong with them, it's just development.

Sometimes if I leave the room DS will howl!

It won't do them any harm to be with another caregiver for a while so you can work.

Hope she's feeling better soon.

stealthsquiggle · 09/11/2010 13:03

The clinginess is probably just a phase, as Clarity says. Both my DC were in nursery from 4mths (DS) and 6mths (DD) - they both loved it, thrived, etc, etc, but they still went through clingy phases. The first few months are the worst, IME, as they work their way through a selection of nursery bugs..

First day back is definitely important. Fingers crossed DD should be fine, but if push comes to shove I would ask your DM, or push the point with DH (there's a principle that needs establishing there, that it isn't always your work that gives way when DD is ill - good luck - I failed miserably).

Good Luck with your first day back.

bigchris · 09/11/2010 13:05

Christ if you're dh sees your job as a hobby I'd give it up and stay home and cuddle your baby by the fire
unless you enjoy working that is

whoneedssleepanyway · 09/11/2010 13:06

They are not supposed to go to nursery until 48 hours after vomitting so strictly she should not go in until the Wednesday....

If she seems ok in herself tomorrow morning I would probably take her...

To be honest your work will have to get used to you having to dash off and pick up a sick DC or not come into work, the first few months at nursery they do seem to get every bug going.

Hope your first day back goes ok.

whoneedssleepanyway · 09/11/2010 13:07

Ignore me (not enough sleep) it is Weds tomorrow doh!!!!!

If she seems ok I would take her in.

Original poster

pommedeterre · 09/11/2010 13:43

She's just gone down for a nap. Am now obsessed with taking her temp and have had readings between 37 and 37.5 over the last two hours!
Thinking back over the last few weeks think the clinginess has been coming on anyway Clarity. Specially the leaving the room thing! She has also learnt to crawl and pull herself up onto her feet over the last fortnight so everything is probably pretty crazy for her right about now.
bigchris - If I didnt work then we would be okay but I would have to run a very, very tight ship at home with major budgeting ideas (because of big mortgage though not because of real cash issues). I was always very career driven pre dd and can command a good wage. Not working would be odd to me but having dd has affected me in more ways than I would have ever predicted in terms of ambition/lifestyle.
Everything feels very up in the air, new and scary to me at the moment I think if I'm truly honest with myself and am now wondering if dd is sensing that...
Anyway, thanks for all your comments. I'm hoping the doc gives her a clean bill of health later and we can get through tomorrow!

OP posts:

Original poster

pommedeterre · 09/11/2010 14:55

Now pissed off with dh too. Have sent two email updates and nothing back. No reply, no call, nothing. I am used to him not being able to touch base during his working hours as so busy (7.30am - 7pm mon to fri and sat am so big slice of week with no contact I feel) but would have thought he could have made the effort to reply today.
GRRR. GAH. Rant over. Sorry!

OP posts:

TryLikingClarity · 09/11/2010 17:18

Breathe OP! Try to relax, you haven't even started back to work yet.

Hope your LO's doc appt went well.

Original poster

pommedeterre · 10/11/2010 08:15

So, we're at home today! She shot up to 38.5 yest afternoon and stayed that way until bedtime. Doc said her ear is red and inflamed as well. The doc seemed to think if I left the nursery with calpol she'd be okay but I know they don't get any milk into her there and stayed hydrated obviously an issue.
So have switched days with nursery and work to Friday.
Thanks all!

OP posts:

bigchris · 10/11/2010 10:18

Aw poor little thing! Well done for sorting it all out, hope your dh is helping!

Mumwithadragontattoo · 10/11/2010 15:57

Poor you - I hope DD is feeling better v. soon. Swapping days sounds like a good solution though. Hope your work were understanding about it.

By the way I would say it is totally natural to worry about settling babies and toddlers into nursery. It took my DD (now 2.5) 2 or 3 weeks to settle in but after that she really loved it. DS is now 7 months and will be starting nursery at a year. I am worrying about it already but know he will be fine. I know this isn't what you asked about but wanted to know your not unusual to feel anxious

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