OK maybe I am but I'm sad.

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Got a call at work Friday at 2.15pm to say DS very pale, feeling sick and very quiet. I said I'd collect him and was there 10 minutes later - apparently he'd been a bit sick during that 10 minutes.

He looked awful when I got there and I thought he may have got the bug thats going round. I noticed he hadn't eaten any lunch and mentioned it and school secretary said she knew. I was a bit they hadn't called me 2 hours earlier but let it go.

Got home and he slept for an hour then awoke wanting dinner . Coloured had returned and I told him I didn't think he should eat if sick but he insisted he was fine.

Role on 2 hours and he got very upset again, I thought he may vomit so got bowl, towels etc but he was sobbing.

Turned out there had been an incident whilst waiting for th minibus at breakfast club where a man had tryed to get DS to go with him to prove something to him. DS had said no and the leader praised him for it. (a non-incident really with another parent over-reacting).

Anyway as he was fine I guessed this was what was bothering him as he was really scared and worried and why when he was with me again he was OK.

Now there is the 48 hour rule with D&V so it would stand to reason that with a bug DS would have been ill over the weekend and therefore not fit for school today.

I rang the office before school to let them know he'd be in, that he'd been fine after a sleep and so I didn't know what was wrong with him except maybe he had worried himself sick over the incident? But to let them know he had been ok for the 48 hour period.

Now I was extremely by the secretaries reaction. She began telling me theres no such thing as a child worrying themselves sick, and he had all the symptoms of sickness bug, he'd been pale and quiet and hadn't eaten.

I said I knew that, it was clear when I collected him he wasn't right but thought it courtesy to inform them that he had been ok for 48 hours and he'd seemed to sleep it off and to inform them of the incident in case he mentioned it at school.

She then started again getting really arsy with me, saying he'd mentioned nothing last friday when at school, he'd not eaten etc.

I just reitterated they did the right thing about calling me, and if he doesn't eat lunch again they can call me earlier, I would rather him be with me if he's ill I'm just letting her know he'll be in and had been fine.

AIBU to be really annoyed about her defensive attitude and rudeness or am I'm overreacting??

I want to know before I decide wether to raise it with the HT.

The school secretary is just that, take no notice of her. Tell her to get back to her typing and that as his parent, you will be the judge of whether this rule applies or not.

scurry.

The rule applies for a very good reason, I actually thought I was in for a weekend of it when I picked him up as he looked awful, but as I said an hour later he was hoovering ut my cupboards as right as rain

I would be really annoyed too, and I think you should raise it with the head.

I remember worrying myself literally sick when I was a child - so yes there is such a thing - and the secretary should never speak like that to a parent!

My DS was quite capable of making himself sick when he had not completed homework in the hope of being sent home.

DS hasn't learnt that one yet scurry but I bet he will .

The nurse at school school said its definatly possible thats where the expression comes from .

I'm not a Dd but cannot see how a child can have a stamch bug for only 5 hours , he was ill thats not the debate.

Thanks Hairy. Thats my concern, its more the attitude of the secretary and its the 2nd time when its been in relation to childs health shes played the all almighty and got it wrong. I agree she shouldn't speak like that to a parent but she probably doesn't like me much after I complained about her last time she did it.

I was a bit 'on the fence' about whether to say anything to the Head or not, some school secretaries get a tad above their station and just need shooting a gentle reminder that they are not the parent/HT/LEA?God all rolled into one! However, after your last post I would be speaking to the Head, I wouldn't write - I'd make an appointment.

Of course kids can worry themselves sick... stupid bint.

I hope DS is OK re the man & the car and it hasn't frightened him too much?!

Thanks Chippin, he's OK now. I seriously think he just needed me.

I do think I need to speak to the HT, although this means again complaining about her but maybe she needs to be told again shes not DR, god and jury rolled into one. And when a parent is trying to drop a child at breakfast club, ring the office and get to work all in the space of 20 minutes that parent probably doesn't need her shit.

Exactly!

So OK, I need to speak to the HT, thanks for the advice. So do I ring the secretary and ask for her to out me through or write a letter asking for an appointment??

OK being picky but I do not want to inflame the situation.

But surely 48 hrs later is Sunday?

yes it is juney but obviously stomach bugs are usually at least 24 hours therefore 48 hours after this would have been today and therefore on the 'norm' he would have been off today.

My main question is whether I should say something to the HT or not about the secretaries attitude - especially in light of what had happened before he didn't talk or eat?

I think that you should have been told about the incident. The 48hr is a rule, so I think that the secretary was just making it clear-but not in the best manner. I would mention it all to the HT-in a non confrontational way.

Ah I see, usually in nurseries the policy is 48 hours after the last bout of vomiting/diarrhoea (sp?)

Your son sounds v.intelligent, has he spoken much about the incident ?

On the face of it, this man has committed a minor, but completely unprovoked assault on your son.

This man must be known/identifiable.
You could easily just call the police. (not suggesting you should)

Quite frankly the secretary seems to be covering whatever happened up.
Which unfortunately simply corroborates something did happen.

Hope you can get to the bottom of it.

Perhaps discuss with the clubleader.

The secretary needs to know her place...
Is she a doctor/nurse...secretaries/doctors receptionists....
Just do your job,and that is not to ask questions or to pass any judgement or make any diagnosis.

Thanks for the recent replies. I was told about the incident when I dropped DS at breakfat club (not at or part of the school) on Monday morning, they couldn't tell me Friday as DS came home from school early so didn't go.

I accept and adhere to the 48 hour rule, which is why I phoned to say he was fine so they knew I wasn't just sending him back iyswim.

With regards to the police, I do not believe the man had any vicious intent. Perhaps he gets questioned by adults alot and thought DS was doing the same, altho he asked the club leader not the man. She was a little by the mans reaction and have informed me who it was so I guess the onus is on me to make a complaint if I feel the need.

Its as moraldefective said the secretary seems to pass judgement and diagnosis on childrens health quite a lot and the concern is this could backfire one day, on her or worse a child.