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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think the interweb has patholgised my decision-making ability......

22 replies

MrsKarpet · 08/11/2010 14:43

I am starting to realise I can seemingly no longer make any decision, big or small, without recourse to the internet. If I need to buy something I am unable to until I have 'researched' it online and checked out reviews etc on forums like this one.

If I am trying to decide on a course of action to take I also have to check out websites and other people's experiences just to be sure I am as fully informed as it's possible to be.

I never used to do this.

If I look something tiny up on Amazon, say, and am presented with 5 slightly different brands I just can't commit to buying one, I am stymied and end up buying none of them, in case I don't get the 'best' one.

I very definitely decided to buy DD (3) a balance bike. I started looking them up and checking out the threads on here for recommended ones. Gaaaah. Not only are there tons of the damn things, I came across the alternative suggested course of action which is taking the wheels off a normal bike, thus leading to so far no purchase and no decision made.

I never used to do this.

I love buying things online but I think the price I'm paying to not have to go to halfords again traipse around shops is getting a bit high.

Please understand I am not being entirely serious here, and I do now see I must have underlying issues anyway and should maybe see a doctor but just wondered if anyone else is as useless as me ??

Hmmm , maybe I should have name changed... or maybe not

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 08/11/2010 15:05

On the fence between U and not U. Not U to think that life would be so much simpler if there was less choice.... it is - you've only to try buying something to wash clothes (powder, liquid, liquitabs, improved, bio, non-bio, eco, stain removers, whiteners, etc., etc.) to understand how much longer it takes to weigh up all the options. U to think it's not been a good thing to make comparisons of prices and products easier. Consumer power!!!

Eventually - whether it's washing powder, bike or any other product - you have to stop prevaricating and either piss or get off the pot. Takes practice, that's all :)

AMumInScotland · 08/11/2010 15:39

Too much choice is definitely detrimental to actually making that choice - I'm sure I read somewhere about a study of this stuff. They looked at people buying jam in a supermarket - they put out different numbers of choices and looked at how much jam people bought. If there were too many choices, jam sales went down - lots of people were looking blankly across the whole aisle and then thinking "sod it I'm too confused, I'll have a cheese sandwich instead" !

thisisyesterday · 08/11/2010 15:42

"the alternative suggested course of action which is taking the wheels off a normal bike, "

i am not sure that would have the desired effect Wink

Rocketbird · 08/11/2010 15:42

I am definitely with you on that. The number of times I have stood in Argos desperately trying to get an internet connection to look at reviews of item B because highly researched item A has sold out. It's pathetic and I kick myself every time I do it, but I still do it.

LindyHemming · 08/11/2010 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cumfy · 08/11/2010 17:05

alternative suggested course of action which is taking the wheels off a normal bike

Sorry ROFL.:o .All this decision-making is taking its toll.

I confess I am hooked too.
I think part of the "trick" is filtering: recognising whether you're looking at high or low quality information and quickly rejecting the low quality stuff.

I've read one of these articles about optimal number of choices for consumers; I think it about 3-4!

moondog · 08/11/2010 17:06

Coming back-essential points here/

JamieLeeCurtis · 08/11/2010 17:10

DH is like this. Everything takes aaages to buy, but is thoroughly well researched

I also don't like too much choice but am impulsive. When I go clothes shopping I limit myself to 2 shops and buy 2 of anything I like.

One recommendation on MN is probably enough to persuade me to buy something I'm not sure about. So need advice, but am easily reassured

potplant · 08/11/2010 17:11

I know what you mean.

I feel like I've read every review of every hotel in Florida on Trip Advisor. I kep saying to myself - 'just book something' but I couldn't stop myself.

anotherbrickinthewall · 08/11/2010 17:11

Interesting subject. Can identify with some of what you put in terms of dithering about purchases. Partly I think it's due to growing up with little money, and partly an anxiety issue - accepting that if you don't get the "best" product/value for money then the world won't end.

JamieLeeCurtis · 08/11/2010 17:12

... I also make the mistake of looking on Which when I buy
anything big, like a Tumble Dryer. Buy it then I always end up cursing them because their best buys are always expensive things made by Bosch with lots of whistles and bells I don't need.

nameymcnamechange · 08/11/2010 17:15

Booking a holiday is the worst!

I agree, op, its all much more complicated now but we are constantly told that the internet makes our lives easier. I don't think so.

TheChewyToffeeMum · 08/11/2010 17:15

Anxiety is certainly part of it for me. I have suffered from depression/anxiety in the past and I can now tell when my mood is dropping by how long it takes me to decide what to buy. When I am well I have the self-confidence to just do it.

Mumcentreplus · 08/11/2010 17:33

Yesss I so get what you are saying OP..hotel/holiday bookings,bikes,bags,medical conditions,lunch bags,washing machines,books etc etc etc the list is endless [googles head in hands syndrome] Grin

Shodan · 08/11/2010 17:34

What's horrible is when you spend months weeks researching, say, resorts in Corfu (just off the top of my head, y'know) taking into account family requests such as sandy beach, not too busy, things to do etc etc then when you get there you think 'Oh. Well, it's all right I suppose. Nothing great.'

So annoying, all this information.

Lulabel27 · 08/11/2010 17:40

I recently bought a cotbed at the Babyshow because I loved the look, felt sturdy and good value. Then I made the mistake of trawling online reviews AFTER buying it and now so upset about my big purchase because 13 people said it was rubbish.

DH had to remind me that's 13 people out of god knows how many people have had it. And we both loved it so should forget it and just wait until it arrives.

But I can't stop thinking of the reviews... gah! YANBU

moondog · 08/11/2010 19:22

Completely and not just on the Internet.
it's everywhere.
Why, for example do we need a 100 metre stretch of bleeding yoghurt brands in a supermanrket? How many variations on milk, sugar and fruit can there possibly be???

It is completely debilitating and anxiety inducing.
We lived in Russia for a while a decade ago. I found the lack of choice in most things incredibly liberating.

anotherbrickinthewall · 08/11/2010 19:31

I remember a year or two ago at Asda finding it very difficult to find a tub of marscapone (wanted to do a simple fig and marscapone desert). Felt v. frustrated by yard after yard of processed cheese of every shape and description....

MrsKarpet · 09/11/2010 20:11

Aaaah I am so glad I'm not alone on this one.

Infomation overload and too much choice.

I just stand in front of the multitude of cheddars in some supermarkets and say mournfully 'but I only want some cheese'. And that is why we love Lidl. Grin

Anotherbrick: 'Partly I think it's due to growing up with little money, and partly an anxiety issue - accepting that if you don't get the "best" product/value for money then the world won't end.'

I think you hit the nail on the head there.

Plan of action; I'm going to piss in the pot, make myself a jam sandwich and impulsively book a holiday to Florida. Yay!

Oh and I ended up taking the wheels of a normal bike and DD can balance very well on it indeed. Didn't get very far mind.....

OP posts:
FanjoKazooie · 09/11/2010 20:19

Too much choice is completely paralysing. YANBU.

MimsyRogers · 09/11/2010 20:31

Trip advisor is the worst. I have a friend who says she can't go on holiday any more.

MrsKarpet · 12/11/2010 14:24

For any of you still interested in this subject, I just coincidentally (or maybe not...) started reading 'Blink' by Malcolm Gladwell and here's an excerpt from the first chapter.

"We live in a world that assumes that the quality of a decision is directly related to the time and effort that went into making it. When doctors are faced with a difficult diagnosis they order more tests, and when we are uncertain about what we hear, we ask for a second opinion.

And what do we tell our children? Haste makes waste. Look before you leap. Stop and think. Don't judge a book by it's cover. We believe that we are always better off gathering as much information as possible and spending as much time as possible in deliberation. We really only trust concious decision making.

But there are moments, particularly in times of stress, when haste does not make waste, when our snap judgments and first impressions can offer a much better means of making sense of the world.

The first task of Blink is to convince you of a simple fact: decisions made very quickly can be every bit as good as decisions made cautiously and deliberately."

Oh ho ho...he also promises (this is not a self help book btw) to show us when we should trust our instincts - ie snap decisions - and when to be wary of them but also that they can be educated and controlled.

Ps I booked a night away on Laterooms in a record (for me) 20 minutes the other night! The place had the same name as our much-loved local so I took it as a sign... It had better be good Grin

OP posts:
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