To wish I had never logged on to MN this week :(

[nikki1978]

Those apolocalypse threads are starting to get to me....

I suffered from anxiety for many years - I have always been a bit of a worrier (I spent the whole of guide camp in 1991 crying as the Iraq war was going on and I was sure my parents were going be bombed and killed - we lived in Croydon not Baghdad!). After 9/11 it got very bad though as I was terrified planes would crash into our house, I was unable to fly and I was also worried a huge war would kick off. That anxiety somehow developed into panic attacks then hypochondria. This went on for about 6 years when I spent a lot of time in the doctors surgery and hospital getting tested for things I did not have. I was also quite depressed and horrifically anxious.

Anyway I started seeing a counsellor in Dec 2007 who was wonderful and we worked together for 2 years to 'retrain' my brain basically so I could control my anxiety. I stopped seeing her early this year as my anxiety was gone and I was able to think rationally about things rather than getting worked up and anxious.

So then I came on MN last week (I have been on here for 4 years) and read part of one of these 'apolocalypse' threads. I saw a couple of things that made me start to feel anxious so stopped reading. But then my imagination started running away with me so I asked my husband to read the links as I was too frightened to do so myself but needed to know that I wasn't making a mountain out of a molehill. DH read them and laughed and aid they were crap and gave me a vague idea. I felt better if still a bit jumpy. Then I came on this morning and read a new thread (yes I could have not read it but when I feel anxious like this I search to find something to reassure me but unfortunately also come across things that make me feel worse when trying to do this!) which mentions new things like NASA etc.

I am not blaming anyone - of course everyone can talk about whatever they wish - but I so wish I hadn't looked at these threads :( The information is in my head now and there is nothing I can do to make myself feel better :(

I am worried about what those threads say and also about my anxiety rearing it's ugly head again. I spent a lot of money and worked so hard to feel better, I would be gutted if something like this put me right back where I started.

I hate feeling like this :(

maybe you should avoid the threads in future.. think happy thoughts

most of its bollocks anyway hun

But you're anxious about things that are very unlikely to happen.

I lived in NYC during 9/11. When something horrible happens, you just get on with it. No one there that I knew was sitting trembling in the corner, fantasizing about next attack etc.

You could die tomorrow. We all could. Or you could live til 110. No one knows the time.

But all these apocalypse theories are bullshit. World might come to an end one day, but it won't be because some idiot decided that Mayans predicted it (they didn't, btw).

Perhaps you need to go back and see your GP?

Maybe you are right chickens. I was so sure I was over it :( To be fair I think a few people were frightened by what was being said though.

But what was being said? There were links provided to some ridiculous websites where people with nothing better to do are exchanging their silly ideas.

I second getting back to your GP- maybe a few sessions with a counsellor would help .

Maybe. To be honest I don't know exactly what was being said - just got the idea of it and didn't want to read the actual links so as to freak myself out even more IYSWIM?

Maybe I need a few top up sessions as you suggest.

Thanks :)

I think that you should see your GP again too. You won't always be able to avoid certain things as it is impossible to completely control your environment. I don't know much about these things but from your post it sounds as if you are doing really well. You recognise the warning signs and maybe your GP will be able to help you nip this in the bud as you have already done a lot of the work involved in trying to control anxiety.

I'm really sorry you are feeling like this. it must be awful for you.

Many of the threads on MN were written with tongue firmly in cheek ... a kind of 'look at what some silly conspiracy theorist is saying now'. If you're particular sensitive and things like that make you anxious then really confine your internet use to grocery shopping and looking up recipes or whatever.

Can I thoroughly recommend the thread about people helping out each other, will take your mind off crap brilliantly.

Will find it in a second.

Would it help you to feel better if you knew that the majority of the original appocalypse thread is a whole lot of us talking absolute rubbish about riding around in a Cath Kidston themed bus, hitting zombies with polo sticks and rescuing David Tennant from werewolves? I don't think there are any links or any remotely serious discussion after the first few pages.

here you go

Good long read

Uplifting

BAsed in reality

just don't click on em

sorry we freaked you out, nikki.
:(

if you stick with us, though, we all know how to survive, so we'll be there for you :)

I don't think 99.99% of people on those threads were at all convinced that an apocalypse was due.

We couldn't even agree on the date it was supposed to happen, or whether it involved zombies.

I'm still planning on having my ceiling lights changed next week and I wouldn't be doing that if I thought it was the end of the world. :)

Thanks ladies! I know I am probably being silly but with my history of madly irrational thinking I am susceptible to such things :)

I saw something today about a light NASA are concerned about and now am getting jumpy that a comet is about to kill us all.

I will definitely stop reading them. Worrying is so pointless I know - wish I could stop doing it!

Nikki on a lighter note a fortune teller told me I would live till 87yrs and a thread here recently it was even older so at least 54 yrs to go yet
On a serious note plse do go back to your GP he/she maybe able to refer you to some one who can help with coping techniques. I never click on those threads I am a wimp and feel what I don't know can't hurt me

A serious tip.... do something genuinely scary and dangerous. Take a course in abseiling or pot-holing - or whatever would really get your heart thumping. It's easier for trivia to cause anxiety when life is safe and there is no real danger to contend with. Present yourself with real danger, cope and survive and the rest goes into perspective.

whenever the economy is looking really BAD these sort of end of the world stories pop up - its to make you feel better about life. ignore, ignore, ignore and hope you feel better.

I second what Chil's said.

I starte dthethread, and have seen I have upset a few people - that wasnt my intention! I thought people would see that the links led to hocus pocus sites (David Icke ffs ).

Anyway, one of teh dates mentioned was the 5/6 th Novemeber - and here we all are, right as rain! :)

You can't be cured of being susceptible to anxiety. You have however recognised what the trigger has been and need to think about how you will handle the next thread that you read that starts to concern you.

Its not as easy as not reading it. I don't know that avoiding is the best policy because controlling anxiety is the issue and not the conspiracy theories - they are just the particular thing your anxieties focus around.

This time of year with evenings drawing in, colder damper days and possibly no outside time in daylight on workdays leave us all more open to feeling down and it effects different people in different ways.

My husband suffers from health anxiety and its no joke. To him the small spot or itch or ache is a genuine terminal ailment. I know that saying 'but your being silly' just sends him further into a cycle of worry. He like you has received help to rationalise things. Recently he was invited on a 8 session course on mindfullness and this appears to be really helping. The key is recognising the anxiety coming on (which you've done) and then being self aware. If you google mindfullness you come up with lots of links but this is one which might give you a basic grasp bemindful. I must say I was a little cynical that a 30 minute brisk walk before work each day would make a vast improvement in his anxiety levels but it is making a difference and its been a quick change.

If you've managed so many months feeling less anxious you've done really well and maybe if you can afford it having six month check ups with your counsellor, like with the dentist, would help you remember how far you've come and give you a few positive tips for getting through the subsequent six months.