So apparantly today I 'abandoned' my friend in Central London

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

This is on facebook, garnering lots of sympathy and 'oh what a bitch' and I am fuming, but resisting posting what actually happened.

I can only see my DC at the weekends and in London (long story and I live way further north so it is tricky)

Friend lives in Reading, often works in London so knows her way around. She had asked to spend today with me and the DC as she misses them and we haven't had a catch up for ages.

First we go to Tate modern, DS (ASD) I could tell wasn't comfortable, but hadn't had an outburst so I suggested we go ind a little place for a coffee and then walk along the river. Friend moans the whole time that she really wanted to go to the tate and that DS was 'fine'

Many more such incidents, such as her spending ages in shops whilst I waited outside, to the extent I told her it'd be best we went and did our own thing.

She left in a huff.

Waibu?

Yanbu Devil.

That's awful! Poor you being so far away and only seeing them at weekends. I hope this is just temporary? Some 'friend'!

I certainly hope it is temporary. My exH has an interim custody order and so can dictate where and when I see them. Even getting this was a battle. Thanks to the fucked up court system it will now be mid march until the final court hearing (and I've been advised this could be further delayed)

Pah! Did your friend know this too? What a selfish cow.

These threads have a 'share' icon to be used to share threads on facebook don't they? I suggest you use it

Your 'friend' sounds as though she totally lacks the empathy gene.
I'm so sorry you are going through this upheaval. Be strong and don't let this silly women spoil your good feelings .
Blessings EM x

I hadn't thought to update this, sorry.

I spoke to my friend this morning, and she infuriated me further. She said she did feel abandoned and had hoped it would be a lovely time to see each other. I suggested she clearly thought the children 'got in the way' and explained why my time with them is so precious, and suggested we could have gone for dinner after I had dropped them back , or even just arranged on say a friday when I am free.

I'm not sure what to do now, we ended the conversation on a bad note, and she was on the train to work so the timing wasn't ideal, but she made no apologies whatsoever,

I'm left thinking perhaps I did treat her badly.

She's being unreasonable, still. Maybe she does feel a little abandoned, but what the hell - with all the stuff you're going through, you're not really in a mindset to necessarily concentrate on her feelings (if that makes sense). Also, if she was wanting a child-free day/evening, she could have made it much clearer at the planning stage, rather than whinging on FB.

Even if you did treat her badly (which I don't think you did) a good friend would be understanding, given the circumstances.

Your friend is a selfish cow. She knows your only time with the DCs is at weekends and she was miffed because you brought them along? You don't need friends like this and her FB stuff is just plain spiteful.

She put herself first and is being a bully by bringing others onto her side on FB. Some friend!

Tell her your chidlren come first and she is selfish to want to compete with that when your time with them is so limited. Plus- your son has ASD so he comes first, not her!

YADNBU! Dump her and find some nicer Mums to be good friends with.

I am now worrying that she is a mner, but she posted it on facebook so it's fair game surely?

And again not sure why this is bothering me so much, I have far bigger fish to fry, as it were and yes, she is clearly not a good friend.

gee what a shit day!!! You don't see your DC very often, your 'friend' effectively gate crashes your day by being unexpectedly 'childfree' knowing you had your DC & then is ME ME ME all day. And then has the cheek to whinge ABOUT YOU on FB?!?!?!?!?!?!? What a bitch.

Sorry you had a bad time & your friend let you down badly. Glad to hear that you have lovely friends too.

Personally I'd be telling her to get a grip & let her know just how badly you feel she has treated you. Linking this thread to FB would do the job nicely for you if you don't feel up to the confrontation.

There is no way I'd link this page to facebook, in fact I hate that feature. I have spilled my guts on here too many times for all my RL friends to know my mn name

And apologies, how rude I didn't thank you all , rare for an aibu to have a majority opinion and it helped me this morning as she did try to manipulate things round so I felt at fault.

very good point re FB link up!! Glad everyone helped & hope you're feeling a little brighter.

I hope she is on MN and recognises herself, she really sounds like a friend you could do without at the moment.

You were not at all BU, she was insensitive and unsympatheric. I would avoid contact for a while, give her a chance to think about how childish her behaviour was.

You to need to talk...

And my faith in friendship is restored, my friend I stayed with just emailed me a link. I'm not sure when she caught it but she filmed DS from the stairs through the bannisters singing 'Music Man' with all the actions, its friggin hilarious.

I'm sorry you had a bad day but..

Tbh you should never have agreed in the first place..i second the fact she was insensitive and not very understanding, but equally you should not have put yourself in that position you knew your child would be with you and you have precious time together you could have just said NO...sounds like alot of presumption and mis-communication going on between you...

My two children, and as I stated I expected she would bring hers which would have made the day a lot more fun. It's bloody hard having to entertain two children out and about all day when there is no option to go 'home'.

Sorry children I bet its bluddy hard ...you expected her to bring her own children...she obviously had other ideas...I just think the whole timing was wrong and you are now both feeling hurt..I hope you can work things out if you want to.

You are right, it was utter miscommunication and both of us having ill thought out ideas about the day. I still think she was in the wrong.
I'm sure we will get over it, she is a very good friend and we have helped each other through very tough times. Maybe this is why I was so affronted she seemed so clueless on the day.

She sounds VU. Now I know that there are two sides to every story but she really should understand what you are going through at the moment and cut you some slack.

Mumcentreplus TDWM's "friend" originally told her she missed the dc's and would like to see them, I don't think it's such a bad thing for her to have agreed to meether.

Yes, there was miscommunication, but that does not mitigate the friend's rudeness or selfishness, as far as I am concerned. She doesn't sound like a particularly good friend if she cannot appreciate how precious your time with your dc is, and thinks you would want to spend it hanging round outside shops waiting for her, or trying to stop your ds having a meltdown in the Tate modern so that she can enjoy herself!

You were definitely not unreasonable - she was.

Oh ok chip...makes her sound even more selfish and unreasonable!! ..I do agree she was definately in the wrong

I hate to see friends fight..I hope you are able to get across how she made you feel TDWP and it's all hugs and love between you :)