To make my daughter go to dance class?

[lollypoplady]

DD is 5 and started ballet a month ago, she doesn't do any other clubs and I thought it would be really good for her to have a class outside school and learn something new. She absolutely loved it and was really exited about going, it was a great release for her as she is a very energetic child who loves dancing. Then yesterday morning she decided on a whim she didn't want to go anymore (the night before she was really exited about it) I was of the opinion she would really enjoy it once she got there and to stick with things is an important lesson - I was never made to stick with anything as a kid and I don't think it was helpful in the long run - DH said if she doesn't want to go anymore she doesn't have to and told her this. Me and DH fell out about it, I think she would have been fine going and it was just a blip. She's now been trying it on with everything from not getting dressed to not wanting to come to sainsburys in teh hopes she will get away with it again, should I have sent her to dance or not?

Can I just add if I'd sent her and she was still adamant she didn't want to go I wouldn't have sent her again, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't s battle of wills!

yanbu. if it's just a whinm or a 5 yr old chopping and changing then tell her she has to do it for a whole term before she decides whether she wants to stop or carry on.

if she was screaming and traumatised through the whole lesson then i'd let her sop though.

Send her. Have same opinion as you. YANBU

She was crying but I think this is becuase I said she had to go and DH contradicted me in front of her saying no she didn't

It's one of the things I struggle with as a parent - when and how far to "push".

In this case, she's only been once and she enjoyed it, so it sounds like it was simply a case of not fancying going out (something we all feel at times).

Can you tell her you have paid until Christmas, and she must give it a good go? In other word, I agree with you.

I've had this a few times with DD, and I have made her go. After the class, I have asked her and she has enjoyed it. I suspect in DD's case it was just her trying to exercise some control over her own life, all kids go through this as they grow up, however, I had already payed for the class, so it was tough! I'm too stingy to waste cash like that!
Try distracting her by letting her choose a nice outfit from the wardrobe for her to go to the class in and letting her choose her hairstyle or something.

I can't decide if YABU or NBU! If she is really upset about having to go after initially enjoying it, will she tell you why? Maybe one of the other children isn't very nice to her, or she doesn't like the teacher?

If there isn't anything like that, just that she doesn't really like it now she's given it a try, I would do a deal with her to try till the end of term, or the next three classes (for example). Then let her decide if she wants to stop. If she does decide to stop but she loves dancing, perhaps she would enjoy a less 'formal' dancing class - something like majorettes or drama/modern dance (just thinking of the alternatives where I live!). I agree it's good to see things through, but I also think she should have a choice about the things she spends her time doing, so you could perhaps try to look at her ballet as a 'try out'.

Our children sometimes tried two or three different activies at that age before finding one they really enjoyed - my gut feeling is that if she hasn't taken to ballet and you make her go, she will stop seeing it as a fun activity at all....

The teacher is really cool & chilled out, they play lots of games and she's always said the other kids are great. When asked she said she didn't know why she didn't ike it, this is what made me think she was trying it on.

I have always said to mine, ever since little, that whatever they do, they finish off the term and then they can choose not to go the following term if they like. This makes sure they make a measured decision and don't just chop and change on a whim.

Over their childhoods, there's been things they gave up (swimming, gym), but we always finished the term and they stayed out their notice if appropriate. That way I was sure they'd really had enough.

Interestingly, both girls still dance. DD1 has never wanted to give up but DD2 has had lots and lots of "give up" moments. I've always said, OK, at the end of the term, you can. By the next term, she always wants to keep going. DD2 is now 11, about to go on pointe in ballet, is now very good - and is loving every minute of it. So I'm glad this has always been my policy because she'd have missed out on a lot of friends and fun and achievements if I'd let her stop at the first hurdle.

Discuss it with DH on the quiet and make sure you present a united front next time.

Oh, and sometimes at that age I don't think it's so much as not liking it as whatever they're doing at that moment seems more attractive, IYSWIM! DD2 would be in the middle of a game or a TV programme and it would be "I don't want to go to ballet today." My feeling was that it was an effort she didn't particularly want to go to at that moment in time, rather than an overall not liking it.

Sometimes it can help to talk about whether she is liking it at a time completely apart from when she has to actually go. You'll get a truer picture then. :)