We live overseas. For the first time in years we both have holidays at Christmas and DH wants to go home. I don't. No children to consider, both in our 40's.
Background - when we lived in the UK I often worked at Christmas and would choose to do 4 or 5 nightshifts then have New Year off. Invariably he would go home (to a different part of the UK, 4 hours travel), see all his family and mates and I would join him for New Year. This suited us fine. I would see my family (4 hours in the other direction, isolated) at other times of the year as he has never enjoyed going there, too many women in the family! I can accept that.
This year however he wants to see his mother he says. This is the woman who has cursed us both to leave her house and never return, made no contact for 3 years and suddenly turns up in the same hotel with my SIL when we were holidaying in London. Pretended nothing had happened. This is not the first time she has acted in this manner, each time he says "That's it" but his sisters pile on the guilt.
Now his father, who he has never got on with, is displaying signs of Alzheimers and MIL is stubbornly refusing to accept it. She lets him drive (although he gets lost constantly) as she can't drive. She shouts at him for forgetting stuff, poor man can't help it. She has isolated herself from extended family by her behaviour over the years. DH sends her money and she never acknowledges it and generally I am so frustrated by her attitude I have just had enough. She has made my DH cry with the things she makes up and tells people and I have reached an age where I don't want to have situations like this in my life.
AIBU to say I will not go to stay with them? I just don't want to waste any more time with them.