he could have made an effort?

[BOOMyhoo]

EXp got home last night (to his mum's house) after being in england for two months, so hasn't seen the boys in all that time. the boys were due to go to their house for contact with grandparents today anyway and ds knew daddy was going to be home, very excited, he got pupil of the week yesterday and was given a cinema voucher for it. he wanted to ask daddy to take him today. 11 oclock came and just nanny at the door, no daddy. ds very disappointed and nanny says "you're going to go and get your daddy out of bed". now, they live a 5 minute drive away. AIBU to think he could have gotten up the ten minutes earlier to come and collect his sons? is an extra 10 minutes at 11 oclock, that much more important than your dcs seeing you after a two month absence?

YANBU. He obviously thinks his 10 minutes of sleep are more important than kids.

i was prepared to hear YABU, but i am just so pissed of that ds was disappointed. EXp had even texted during teh week to see if he could come and see them today and i said they were going to his mums anyway. i still presumed he would be looking forward to seeing them. if i was away fro two months, i couldn't get home fast enough to see them.

YADNBU- He is being selfish

You know he's a twat - it's why you finally kicked him out!

Sadly your DC will come to know it too unless he sorts his shit out, but with his track record I wouldn't be holding my breath!

All you can do is be the 'constant' in their lives...

It's going to be hard seeing them constantly upset by him, but don't pump him up or put him down - just be there for them x

you are right chipping. i don't know why i still expect him to step up and be a dad. as you say, it is seeing the disappointment. i just wish there was an injection i could give him to make him do the right thing.

h etold me last week he is thinking of changing jobs (forces) "that's great" i said "you'll be able to move back home and see the boys all the time". but no, he is thinking of moving to special forces where he will have no idea where or for how long he could be sent away. when i asked him why, he said well he wasn't seeing enough of teh boys as it is so he thinks he should jsut do this. yeah casue that is what children need, less time with their parents. i mean who in tehir right mind, given the chance to change jobs would choose to take one that brings you further away from your dcs?

You said 'I just wish there was an injection I could give him....' it didn't end how I expected it to

After reading your 'second' post... yep, my injection would be better!

However, I'm a bit of a control freak so having more or less 100% 'control' over the kids/the situation would make life easier for me and once the kids get used to it, they wont miss him so much - it's not been long since they were used to seeing much more of him, in time, they wont expect it, so it wont seem so bad... (hopefully anyway).

i agree with you there. having 100% of them would make life easier for me, not sure that's what is best for the dcs though. they know they have a dad, in time it will dawn on them that he has chosen his own wants above their needs. that just kills me to know it. i feel so guilty for choosing such a complete knobber as their dad. tehy didn't ask for any of this.

Perhaps after flying in from England he was totally knackered? Did you ask what time he got in? He may have only just gone to bed...

YABU. Come back to where? Has he had a long journey?

If you hadn't chosen him, you wouldn't have them :) so not such a bad choice after all.

It will be years before they realise he had a choice of jobs, for now they will accept this is his job and this is what he does - if you don't inform them otherwise. Many children have Dad's in the forces - that's not what makes them good or crap Dad's is it and all of those Dad's had a choice - none of them were made to go in the forces.

Arthur - yet another thread that you are shit stiring on... go find some other kids to play with.

I don't suppose it really matters though because it sounds as though he has been written off already.

he was taking the boat, because he got a new car that he wants to show off so he drove from southampton to holyhead? and then up from dublin, i think. he was expecting to get in about 2am. and yes, i can totally get that he will have been tired but tbh he was going to be woken up at 10 past 11 anyway when his mum brought the boys back (i would hate to think he would stay in bed while they were there!!) so getting up at 10 to 11 to come and collect them wouldn't have been that much different. it's jsut little things i know but to ds1 it was such a disappointment when daddy wasn't there to collect him. he really has missed him. and 2am to 11am is quite a sleep anyway.

How is asking if the OP knew what time he got home at, shit stirring? Idiot.

YANBU!

back to northern ireland hairy.

Arthur - fuck off.

arthur, chipping knows the history, she hasn't written him off based on just this.

lol

Booyhoo - Arthur either joined today or namechanged today and is just shit stirring on threads. Probably best to ignore the twat really.

ah, thanks chipping.

Who gives a flying fark what time he got in or where he came back from? If I hadn't seen my kids for two months I wouldn't have gone to bed at all to make sure I was there to see them on time.

He is selfish twunt. YANBU OP.

If I hadn't seen my kids for that long I'd be knocking on the door straight from the airport even just to give them a kiss in their sleep!

"If I hadn't seen my kids for two months I wouldn't have gone to bed at all to make sure I was there to see them on time."

same here, i just don't get it. why does he not have the same feelings for our dc as i do?