Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my DP to work for 1 hour on Christmas Day??

41 replies

SalaDo · 05/11/2010 13:22

Think this is a more of a request for advice.

My DP works for a call center which is open over christmas and as such he has to work 8 hours over the christmas period, hours dished out on a first come first served basis.

He has been off sick due to a car accident and now he's returned he's told all other hours have gone and he has to work 7hours on new years day (no prob with this even though its DD's fifth birthday) and 1 hour from 10.45pm to 11.45pm on christmas night.

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable because I'm currently 29weeks pregnant and feeling very hormonal but this seems just STUPID!! We always have a big family day, we'll be at my parents house which is about an hours drive away from where he works.

Have tried speaking to his manager and I do understand that someone has to do it. . . Just seems unfair [sulky face]

AIBU to ask him to keep pushing it at work and asking for a change?

OP posts:
ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm · 05/11/2010 13:26

It's only an hour and at night.

My DH works most christmas days (12hr shift) and it's just the way it is. He also works NYE (my birthday) overnight.

It's a pain, but somebody has to do it. And an hour is nothing. It won't affect your Christmas really will it?

ForMashGetSmash · 05/11/2010 13:26

YABU...it's one hour and its in the evening! Are you staying the night at your parents house? If not, then go home at about 7.00, have a bit of tea and then put kids to bed...an hour alone and then off he goes!

It wont interrupt the actual day...just the end of it!

SuePurblybilt · 05/11/2010 13:27

One hour? With a two hour commute? It does seem pointless and will of course mean he can't drink on the day which might be a dampner in some cases (thinking in-laws). Can he find out who is doing the shift that ends at 10.45 and try bribing them to do one more hour?

MoralDefective · 05/11/2010 13:28

A little bit Yabu
It's only an hour and late in the evening so presumably DCs will be in bed.
Shit though that he'll have to drive back,can't he go home afterwards and rejoin you at your parents the next morning?.
Or are you both going home the same night?.
Shit that he won't be able to have a drink.
Try not to make him feel too bad about it.

Original poster
SalaDo · 05/11/2010 13:29

Its the fact he wont relax all day and has to drive so far there back and forth. It will cost more in petrol than he'll actually get paid for it :( PLus I want a nice snuggly christmas and not my dp getting home at almost 1am (yes I'm in selfish mode!) :)

OP posts:
Original poster
SalaDo · 05/11/2010 13:31

We are staying at my parents as we normally have a big day on boxing day too . . Guess he could stay at our house and drive home the next day. Just feel like it'll be hanging over us all day christmas day as he dislikes his job at the best of times.

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 05/11/2010 13:31

Dh and I have both worked in the NHS for over 30 years. I have lost count of the Christmas and New Years we have worked. Not to mention all the nights, weekends and bank holidays. No overtime rates either.

Very few people have all public holidays off IMO.

StableButDeluded · 05/11/2010 13:32

YABU, sorry-an hour isn't much although for one hour it is a bit of a faff.

My sister is a social worker and used to work at a children's care home. She always ended up either doing Christmas Day or New Years Eve or Day-there was no option, there had to be staff there all the time. Unfortunately it's just the way it goes sometimes.

MoralDefective · 05/11/2010 13:32

DP and i both used to work 12 hour shifts when we first met.
I always tried to get in early and have christmas off and work New Years eve and often day.
Didn't have a choice,it was the job.

StableButDeluded · 05/11/2010 13:36

Actually, though, it IS stupid that he has to go in for one hour.

Original poster
SalaDo · 05/11/2010 13:38

I totally understand in other more "urgent" jobs but his really isnt what I would call urgent :( . . I guess I feel pissed off that no one contacted him while he was off (he got loads of calls from manager and HR) but no one mentioned this :(

Guess it is what it is and should make the best of it!

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 05/11/2010 13:41

it is silly that he has to go in for an hour - why doesn't he volunteer to do a six hour stint from 8pm to let a few others off the hook? that would build him up some good work karma for the new year.

i really don't think you can ask for him not work at all - you just hormonal and being daft - he obviously knew when he applied for the job it was a 24/7 thing.

i've been very lucky and only had to work christmas day once. dh flew out to be with me, we borrowed a flat, and he cooked me christmas dinner for when i got back at 8pm.

it's annoying when things don't work out to your own personal advantage, but mostly you just have to suck it up.

SixtyFootDoll · 05/11/2010 13:43

YABu
I wish i was working an hour on Xmas night
I am working 7am-7pm Xmas day.

Make the most of the time he has, and be grateful he has a job at all.

phipps · 05/11/2010 13:46

YABU.

It is only 1 hour and at that time of night I would expect the children to be in bed and you not far behind if you are pregnant. It is a shame about your child's birthday but unless someone will swap it is too bad really. Maybe next year he will think to book the day off.

deaconblue · 05/11/2010 13:47

1 hour well after the children have gone to bed is not an unresonable request for your oh's work to make. Lots of people will willingly work all day christmas day on all kinds of vital jobs. So yes, YABU

FreudianSlimmery · 05/11/2010 13:47

YABU a little bit. I will probably face this one year - DH is a pharmacy manager and in our town the stores have a rota so each year a different one opens for two hours.

It's a pain but my advice would be don't let it get to you - if you get hung up on it it will spoil the day, but if you just accept it it shouldn't make much impact.

Prepare some stuff to make that hour full of pampering for you - bubble bath, DVD, lots of chocolate...

deaconblue · 05/11/2010 13:49

Also, don't nag the poor bloke about it, it's not his fault and you run the risk of spoiling the rest of Christmas if you make too big a thing about this

Original poster
SalaDo · 05/11/2010 13:51

It was all booked off as holiday but one of the conditions of being granted holiday over christmas is that you have a 0%sickness record which of course was buggered up when he was in the car accident :(

OP posts:
FIMBOfedupofrandomfireworks · 05/11/2010 13:52

Could he not ask around, surely if it is a call centre someone somewhere is desperately trying to rearrange their hours? Even if it means he has to do so more to get the 1hr off.

emptyshell · 05/11/2010 13:52

YABU - it's one hour's work. Enjoy the hour of peace, watch trash you've recorded that you can't watch with a man whining about your taste in telly (my husband's dreadful for this) - he'll be home soon enough.

He's got a job - right now that's a blessing many don't have.

FIMBOfedupofrandomfireworks · 05/11/2010 13:52

Surely a car accident is different from sickness though?

curlymama · 05/11/2010 13:54

YABU, but understandably.

He will just have to get on with it, but try not to let it spoil your day. He will be with you for most of it. It sounds like they have been as fair as they can be with making people only work an hour at a time.

Towatessa · 05/11/2010 13:56

To go in for one hour is a stupid thing to have to do, particularly when he is going to be an hour's drive away! I agree with the others who suggested that maybe a bit of an hours swap may be in order, either to increase the worked hours or not to have to go in at all.

HeadFairy · 05/11/2010 13:57

Sorry to agree with the others but I think you are being a teeny bit U... I've worked most Christmases over the past decade and it's crap but you have to accept it's part of the job. My shifts are always 12 hours too so I'd leap at the chance of only doing 1 hour, even if it meant a long drive. At least he doesn't have to do a long drive and then a 12 hour shift.

Original poster
SalaDo · 05/11/2010 13:58

I shall grin and bear it!! Really wish it was a few hours in the morning or similar. Bleh!! I'll stop moaning and shut up now :)

OP posts: