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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want (and think it's only neccessary) for dd to have only one trip to see Father Christmas?

24 replies

Norfolkbumpkin · 05/11/2010 12:34

I have just had a run in with MIL over dd's santa trip this year. DH and I had made it quite clear (or thought we had) last Christmas that now dd is old enough to appreciate a trip to see Santa we would like her to go only once, accompanied by us. I only went once as a child, and don't see the need to go more than that as surely your average intelligent child is going to be puzzled as to why they are having to say what they would like all over again/get another small gift etc when they only did the same thing last week/whenever. MIL has always taken her other 2 grandchildren to Thursford every year, and says she likes todo this as their special treat. I have replied that dh's brother and his wife are obviously happy with this arrangement and never have seemed to be that fussed with xmas trips etc anyway, but as far as I'm concerned I would like dd, dh and me to enjoy this trip together. So, am I being a miserable old sod or reasonable? answers on a postcard please.....

OP posts:

2shoes · 05/11/2010 12:36

oh come on, your dd will love going twice and getting 2 presents.
so yabu

Poogles · 05/11/2010 12:45

YANBU but I can see why your MIL wants to take them again. Can you all go to Thursford together?

FWIW, I've always been accused of being unreasonable for not expecting the kids to open their present from Santa until Christmas day. Got over-ruled last year and not sure I have the strength for the fight this year!

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 05/11/2010 12:47

There is no denying that part of the santa trip is for whoever is taking said children to get huge amounts of pleasure from watching their faces and reactions, but I think the sole purpose of the trip (and the build up to the big day) is to see the big man, say what you are hoping to get, and be agog at the thought that he just might bring you something. If you then repeat this process at the garden centre and shopping mall aswell as the steam railway station it's a tad bizzare for the children.

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Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 05/11/2010 12:52

Dh and I did go to Thursford last year, purely because we did not realise until a week beforehand that the trip was for the santa wonderland. We thought they were going to the concert thing that they do every year. We then bought tickets for ourselves to attend so that we could go in with dd.

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Plumm · 05/11/2010 12:55

YANBU. Kids only need to see Santa once, and the it's parent's privilege.

alfabetty · 05/11/2010 12:56

Yes, we take ours once, but we invite my PIL as they are really keen to see them asking Santa for pressies. Bit mob-handed but kept everyone happy.

Anniegetyourgun · 05/11/2010 12:58

Wasn't a problem for us, as I never made out to the DCs that we were going to see the "real" Santa (actually I had to tell DS1 about anthropomorphic representations of the spirit of giving, history of Saint Nicholas etc at a very early age because he was terrified at the thought of a strange man coming down the chimney!) But I was too bloody mean to take them more than once anyway.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 05/11/2010 12:59

YANBU- once is enough! In fact last year was the first year I didn't take them at all (bad mum), but I did one of those online chats with santa (can't remember website off hand!) and the kids loved it, and could replay it over and over to show anyone who wanted to see it.

AgentZigzag · 05/11/2010 13:07

They never see the real Father Christmas, they only see his helpers

Awwww let your MIL take her, she's not going to be spoilt for life by getting 2 pressies, and there's plenty of other special stuff for you to do with your DD.

emptyshell · 05/11/2010 13:11

My mother explained it that the real Santa was very very busy so he hired a bunch of subcontractors to find out what all the little boys and girls wanted for their presents.

lazylula · 05/11/2010 13:15

I tell my children that the Santas they are seeing are not the real Father Christmas just one of his helpers, so it doesn't matter if they see more than one! They will be seeing the one at the zoo this year and then if grandparents want to take them, then fine.

pranma · 05/11/2010 13:49

My dh is a large man with a ruddy complexion,white hair and a bushy white beard.Younger dgc are convinced that he is one of santa's top henchmen and have been known to try to persuade store santas to recruit him [just while Santa is at the North Pole].

emptyshell · 05/11/2010 14:39

I'm just remembering the time we got one of our parents to be Santa and go around the classes on Xmas party day. He thought it would be a lovely experience - and it was, with reception, and with year 6 who took it all with tounge-in-cheek good humour... then he met my class (year 2/3 at the time and quite an un-streetwise bunch at that - very very rural area)...

I was almost wetting myself trying not to laugh, as was the Y6 kid helping out and watching it all:

"Where's the reindeer, I don't see them parked outside?"
"If you're Santa - what did I ask for on my list? You do know my address to send it don't you?"
"Is that your marriage ring to Mrs Claus, why does she never get to come out on the sleigh too?" (trainee feminist that one)
"So can I just check you've got my address right now?"
"Why are you here and not making presents back in the North Pole?"

Ran into the poor guy in the corridor afterwards and he was looking so shellshocked it looked like he'd gone five rounds in a boxing ring!

Jeremy Paxman at his finest had nothing on this bunch - and they were the sweetest, most angelic looking little bunch of dots you'd ever seen!

Hulababy · 05/11/2010 14:45

The real Father Christmas won't be around in the Uk much anyway. He sends out all his helpers. He is far too busy sorting stuff out for Chistmas Eve.

How else would you explain the various Father Christmas figures that appear in our towns in December?

BTW - you do know that many nurseries and chools have FC come and visit them too, yes? So often children will see several of FC's helpers each year.

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm · 05/11/2010 14:50

The Thursford one is ridiculously overpriced for what it is.

Which is neither helpful nor relevant. But true. I'd tell your MIL to spend her money more wisely. You could have an entire day out with the price of a visit to Thursford's version of FC.

AgentZigzag · 05/11/2010 14:54

Come on OP chop chop, you've got to get your story right, keep it simple and fend off any awkward questions with a knowing smile accompanied by '...because he's magic'

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 05/11/2010 16:43

Oh how I sometimes long to skip forward ten years so that all this santa lark is a dim and distant memory.........I think it's all part of the Christmas season of social duty and obligation.

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Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 05/11/2010 16:44

Blimey I sounded a bit 'bah humbug' there!! and it's only freakin' November 5th.............

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GrimmaTheNome · 05/11/2010 16:49

My DD realised that the FC she saw when she was 5 wasn't the same chap as when she was 4. She pondered and decided that there was only ever one 'real' FC but that the ones in grottos were retired real ones.

By 6 she didn't believe there was a real one but played along to get the pressie.

Lurpak · 05/11/2010 16:56

YABU

onadifferentplanettoday · 05/11/2010 16:57

Would Thursford have been where you would have gone anyway or have you a different Santa in mind? most of the Norfolk santas we've visited over the years have been pretty rubbish and even when very small my DCs didn't for a moment think they were the 'real' one

piprabbit · 05/11/2010 16:59

Your DD is likely to come across a multitude of Santa's helpers each Christmas. There'll be the official grotto visit, Santa's who pop in to Christmas parties at school/nursery etc., Santa's on telly, Santa's in the High Street collecting for charity. So you'll need to get your stories straight pronto.

However, I think it's a bit cheeky of your MIL to force her plans on you.

curlymama · 05/11/2010 17:18

Once is enough, and as the person that gave birth to aforementiond child, you get to be the one to go along to.

Presumably MIL had her chance when her dc's were little, now it's your turn.

Yes, they will come across lots of Santas, but on your day you are going to see the real one, and it's probably best not to confuse the poor chap.

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 05/11/2010 17:22

Well in her short life of 3 years so far she saw a mother christmas at the playbarn in '08, father christmas at Thursford last year, and that's basically it. We have not booked to attend our toddler group railway ride this year, and the pre-school party with Santa is an optional thing at extra cost at the start of the holidays, a time when we would be doing other stuff as so close to xmas. dd's experience of santa so far has basically been quite scarce. I can see no harm in reining it in now if we are to get an onslaught once she hits school.....

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