to to think it must be me!?

[dipitydoyou]

Hi all,
Have lurked on here for ages now and never posted but feel I needed a bit of a rant!
Does anyone else find the school drop off hard or is it me?
Im a first time mum and dd recently started pre school. She loves it runs in, happy and excited so no probs there but..

I literally said hello to three mums this morning and no exageration no one replied: in fact one mum looked up at me gave a blank stare and then carried on walking!
Id like to say its the first time this has happened but its not, I know we've all had days when we're a bit preoccupied but it seems to be the same few mums and every day. Im a 30yr old married mum and this feels like such a silly thing to be bothering me, but the fact is it does :(
I have a great group of friends, but none sadly who live in our village and I do want to get along with these mums as our little ones will be in school together for a long time. Shall I just think 'ah well cant win 'em all' and shrug it off? please tell me that this happens in every school and its not just me!?x

Yep. Some mums blank. Some mums chat happily on random subjects. Some mums will become your friends. And some mums will ignore you for 2 years until your younger children become friends and then suddenly be all over you.

I've also found that a lot of mums know each other already and would rather talk to their pals than you (which is understandable but surely wouldn't kill to say hello).

Keep smiling and saying hello and making comments about the weather /the nice display in school and you'll work out which group they fall into.

ah thankyou good points and your right of course im sure it will just take time its unreasonable to think i'll make friends straightaway. I've just re-read my post and hope I didnt come across as needy and whiney but I just had a bad morning and being triple ignored was the icing on the cake!

It's not just you- it happens everywhere. When my son started Reception I made a big effort to say good morning/hello to people, some people just looked at me as if I were mad, some people are now good mates.
My tip would be to persevere, some people won't change but some will be feeling exactly like you & may be too shy or unsure to make the first step.
We have nights out now, wine always loosens the inhibitions!

Hi dip, sorry you are finding it tough right now. I know what you are going through, DS is 7 and has just changed schools & I know no one. They all seem quite settled in their groups & it seems tricky to move in. But I think it could be that quite a few of them at CM'sand not the Mum's anyway - so i'm trying this tactic:

I have been asking DS who he likes, and suggesting we ask him for tea. So when we get to the playground I ask him to find his friend and ask his friend who the Mum is. I then ask the Mum about coming round for tea. This has opened up a couple of windows for me. Once it was a CM, and I gave her my number who passed it to the Mum - who was overjoyed to find another Mum contacting her as she felt out of the loop being at work.

Maybe this could work for you?

Nope its not just you and it gets worse at primary. I talk to four mums, the others just scowl! I dont understand it, dont we teach our children to be friendly and kind!

Its not you. It was like this when my DD1 started nursery, I use to come home feeling like some kind of social mistfit.

But I kept smiling and being friendly and eventually found some mums who smiled back, which would eventually lead to little chats etc.

Now I have some of the best friends I could ever wish for, all made at the school gates.

Thankyou so much everyone I swear I came home this morning and thought right 'it must be you'. Im just going to carry on smiling and saying hello and if they say hi back great, if not thats fine. Things can only get better hey!
p.s mrsfc thats a really good idea xx

Its not you.
Sometimes though when I drop off dc's I am rushing to get to work, half asleep, head full of stuff I have to get done and I probably do look blankly at people (I'm not a morning person)
But after school I'm a lot nicer!

Oooh YANBU! When my DD started nursery I was SO miserable...I had just had DD2 and on my first day at schoolnot one Mum came over to say hello/congrats on the obviously new baby in the pram!

I don't know why...after 3 years I now now all those Mums and can only think they were shy...it's a very small school. It get better really....once kids get to 5 or 6 and makee friends...then you are forced to speak to other mums...or rather they are forced to speak to you!

Now I make a big effort to include any new Mums.