2nd wedding 'wishing well'

[itmustbewineoclock]

AIBU? - SIL's 2nd wedding, parents paying for reception (double the number of guests they want to pay for); wedding is being held a long way from all of her friends/ family - it's costing us 800 quid to get there as a family. The happy couple are having a 'wishing well' at the reception to "pay for our renovations". I know that they have already completed a small amount of work on their house and are not planning to do any more. They are taking 3 months off after the wedding, 1 month's holiday and 2 months hanging around at home to TTC, unpaid. I feel quite peeved that (a) they are being dishonest about what the money is for and (b) they are basically asking wedding guests to fund their decision to sit around doing nothing for 2 months. (She works in low stress 3 day a week job). We've actually already purchased a gift for them so it's not about us having to give them cash - I'm just annoyed that they are asking it of other guests. AIBU??

Thanks for the input the2ndc. I do appreciate other people's opinions which is why I posted here. I'm quite open to the idea that I'm BU.
Inheritance is not an issue at all.

I hate it when people ask for money, I even had an invite with a tacky asking for cash poem in it once.

Don't get me or expat started on those poems

sorry!

Considering they are having the reception paid for, the travel costs incurred by their guests, and their " 3 month honeymoon", they are being very cheeky.

YANBU to be annoyed.

Why not put a small bag of 1p (or Aussie equivalent) coins into the well anonymously!

I've just got married and I've never heard of a "wishing well". Jeez. They may as well walk around the tables during the meal shaking a tin.

I think it's [i]extremely[/i] tacky for ask for money for your wedding anyway (if people choose to give you money, as several family members did for us, fair enough). Those cringeworthy poems that people slip into invites make me want to puke.

I think it's a horrible idea, even worse for a second wedding if lots of guests were already there at the first one. And what's with the whole wishing well thing, it doesn't make it any nicer to ask for peoples money just because you provide a fancy box for them to put it in? But sadly, it's becoming very popular.

Tell them you didn't understand that they meant that kind of wishing well, and give them a card saying 'We wish you well'.

Personally I don't have any problems with giving money as a wedding gift [in fact I prefer it as I hate shopping] however in these circumstances I would only give a card. Paying out £800 in travel and accomodation costs is already more than enough.

SIL did this - I really resented it. She also sent a delighful note out refusing gift vouchers in case the firms went bust.

I just left everyone to it when I got married - lots of people DID give cheques in cards, but it was their decision and equally some people gave gifts of time or skills (brother took photos, someone else made the cake) - made the whole day feel much more personal and special to be honest.

My invites were better than hers anyway - and I made mine myself so blergh to her wishing well!

I would just buy a pack of mugs/photo fram/fondue set/whatever is within your budget, wrap it and present it to them at the reception.

We were invited a few years ago to an evening wedding reception and were sent a wedding list which didn't have a single item on costing less than £50. As we weren't going to the wedding and main reception I didn't want to spend that much, so I got them a pack of 4 drinking glasses.

Or what you could do if you wanted to make a point is buy them vouchers from a DIY shop such as B&Q, since they want to "do their house up".

LOL that should have read photo frame not fram! That will teach me not to proof-read before posting...