to not want to go out much with DS 27 months

[philntedsadventure]

I am struggling with the terrible two's
I can't be arsed with it all now

I am SAHM and it is such a battle to get DS anywhere that i give up most days I really can't take him many places right now i assume that is the norm with two year old's?

I managed to get him outside today for a bit to a toddler group (i hate toddler groups) but he whined and moaned and tantrummed while we were there

I wonder if i am just feeling jaded by the whole SAHM thing anyway

Is my boredom with life rubbing off on him? I am feeling so de-motivated i even wondering if i should have posted

Answers on a card please i.e. here
no flames please as am struggling DH works away and we have no family nearby

and a mummy today told me that DC's get worse when they are three!!

YANBU. No need to go out if you don't want to. DS2 is 28 months and I stuggle to get the energy some days, too... have no choice but to do school run though.

Could you find a playschool or creche for him for a couple of mornings so you can do something yourself to stop you feeling so bored?

and oh, based on DS1, I think they are easier aged 3.

Does he have free preschool hours now and use them?

DD was like that too. We both hated toddler groups. I was with her 24/7 as DH worked away all week in those days.

She was best if she got lots of outdoor playing... swings, slides, running around, throwing the ball for hours for the dog etc. I recall I used to take her to the beach (about an hour's drive) and just let her dig holes and build sandcastles all day.

They have so much energy at that age and seem to need to run it off or become frustrated and tantrumy, but they don't have the words to tell you how they feel.

....sorry, course he doesn't - he's 2, as it says in your title.

Like thelunar, I found my days way easier if we got out.

awww thanks
i think you are right letting him just run around in a park is probably better

i have one mummy friend who is lovely but she keeps texting me to meet at a local cake shop cafe i actually break out in a sweat just thinking about it same with 'going shopping' OMFG no chance i wouldn't dream of it

DS will not sit for more than 30 seconds! and he constantly tries to escape at playgroups

what have i created?!!!

I found things easier when I was out and about with DD, she improved when outdoors or even just daytripping somewhere. She's nearly 5 now so the terrible twos are long gone, she's still stroppy though and after a few hours indoors we'll both be going demented. As for whether 3 is more difficult than 2, I think it's an individual thing. At least by 3 kids can have a sense of reason, to a point, and are beginning to understand danger, i.e. not run off into the road etc.

Of course if you truly find it easier staying in then there is no pressing reason not to do so.

oh dear

two year olds can be very hard work, very draining in fact - whining, moaning and tantrumming pretty much par for the course

toddler groups can be grim, if don't 'click' at the one you went to today, try a different one

if you really can't face it, leave it til after Xmas, but make sure that you get out for fresh air and a run around for you as well as DS

lots of things that you can do at home in your garden - a tray of oats, some bowls and spoons, what gets on the patio gets nommed by the birds/'painting' the walls or fence with a pasting brush and a bucket of coloured water

suggest to your mate that you meet at the park, brink a flask of hot choc for the adults

I find that when i am at toddler groups all i do is moan about his behaviour and his atrocious eating habits

perhaps i have too high expectations of him bless he is only two

and i love him to bits
he just frustrates me beyond words sometimes

Yanbu - dd is lovley but can be a horror!
I agree best thing i do is (in this weather now) wrap her up warm and find a park with a gate and let her run riot for hours while i sit with a hot drink (get a flAsk)
I find being in the house all day awful and i am ready to kill the pair of us by tea time!
Find anywhere where they can run it off and be as boisterous as they like without you feeling on edge!
Can you afford childcare? Even if he just went for one session a week, a few hours - may save your sanity! Sounds awful but then you have some proper time to yourself to look forward to, makes all the difference!
Kids eh?! Who'd have 'em? :)

can't afford childcare yet but am wondering about returning to work part-time

might be better for both of us
as my other friend said 'you've been at the coal-face for over two years now'

the flask is a very good idea actually thanks

i think he would be a lot better if you did talk him out, maybe not what you want to hear but yes boredom of staying @ home and if you are frustrated with it yourself probably would be rubbing off on him. i don't think it is normal to just stay @ home with 2 yr olds, no... because most people find it does help them a lot to get out the house. especially boys if they have a lot of energy. i think you need to just force yourself and start getting yourselves out and about a bit, atleast park and that kind of thing if you feel you cant face toddler groups. something for him to use up his energy, if he is stuck indoors no wonder he will be whiny and tantrummy it is not that great for them.
also if he is going to behave badly anyway then you might aswel get out and have a chance of scene as you must go crazy just stuck @ home?? if its that you feel worried what people will think just have to learn to ignore and get on with whatever you need to do. if you did find a good toddler group he may also pick up on behaviour from other dc and learn to conform a bit with things like sitting down when asked? i know some people on here seem to have something against them but i find a lot of childrens centres can be good and if you do find a really good one they would actually help you out with his behaviour and could help you get a real improvement.
but try something, whether just going out to park most days or forcing yourself to go to childrens centre, anything has to be better than sitting @ home feeling that you cant go out due to his behaviour.
also you might see some other dc behaving the same way and could be reassuring to realise he is not always the only one?

Some part-time work and a place in a nursery could be just the ticket. Some time apart means you can appreciate time together better. Even though we love our kids enormously, being corralled in with them 24/7 can be a pain in the neck for some of us (myself included) and I expect the same is true in reverse. SAHP is not everyone's idea of heaven. If you get the opportunity to work and spend time each day with some grown-ups I think you'll feel better about yourself and have more patience and tolerance for your child as a result.

I find it is much easier to go out. Even on the drizzle, we wrap up warm and put on our wellies! The more exercise the better, kicking leaves, jumping in puddles etc. I have a flask vi which is great. I brave soft play once a week if the weather is really bad. Swimming is another good one. I find with dd1 we have a bad phase where she is difficult but if I try to focus on the good and keep her busy it helps. The more positive I am, the better she is!

My boy was ok at toddlers and stuff, but really, really loves a football thing we go to. It's for kids of his age and it is so lovely to see him just running about with all the balls. Was a bit like herding cats to start with, but they all getting hang of it now.Maybe something like that near you?

I also find that he (and I) is better for an outing, and even if I feel I can't be arsed with it I do sometimes enjoy a chat with mummies at toddlers, or a music thing we go to.

I do really hate taking him swimming, and soft play tho, and try to avoid if possible.

My DD is 2 at the end of the month and I find it really really trying. At cafes she jumps on and off the chairs/climbs out of highchair screaming at the straps etc.

Soft play I seem to find myself doing more of the climbing. I get stressed about going to specific places like toddler groups/shops/cafes etc as she seems to tantrum more.

I find it far easier to get out but on my own terms so we still go to the library weekly but i avoid storytime like the plague as DD runs hell for leather to the disabled loos! We go to the park a lot and I plan specific activities that we can do at home too. I try to combine one outdoor thing with one indoor a day.

this week DD has been to the cattle market to see the "amimals" swimming with DH, baked cakes, crafting activities etc.

Today we are off to buy her "baby" its own nappy??!!! her request, swap books at the library and then the park.

I also find it far far easier to visit a friend with children than to go to softplay etc, its less stressful watching your child toddle around a friends lounge than pushing s strangers child out of a little tikes car whilst you try reasoning with them!

I think it's important to get some interaction, both for you and him. But if he's happy at home, and so are you, I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. And imvho, 3 is much, much better than 2.

I agree with others that taking him out to the park or somewhere he can really let off steam seems like a good idea. My DD is now 30 months and is much happier if she's well exercised! My DSis found it funny that she needs exercising like a dog or starts to climb the walls and it seems like your DS is the same. I find the fresh air also makes me feel better and I sleep better too.

For what it worth I'm finding 2.6 much easier that 2.3 so can only imagine that 3 is generally much better than 2!

I agree re toddler groups, my DD (also 2) can be a nightmare and cries whinges all the time and doesn't play with the other kids. Sometimes it is just too stressful, but then I worry she is not getting enough interaction with other kids! I think going out at least once a day works for me though, just outside, somewhere she can run around, otherwise I go insane spending all day in the house.
If it helps I think this is normal (at least I hope it is!!).

I sympathise, I really do. I haven't had problems with tantrums etc, and in the days of just DS I found it easy enough to get out, I suppose, though not always the things I wanted to be doing but hey that's a bit path of the course at this age.

But when DD came along I had 2 under 3 (DS had just turned 2 when she was born) and it was hard - he was still at the running off stage or perhaps the "I dont want to go home" stage and I once found myself dragging him across a car park (gently!) in the snow on his bum whilst pushing a pushchair because I couldn't physically get him out of the building and get him to co-operate with me any other way and we had somewhere to be! It was that morning that I said "I am going to find you a pre-school" and I did - I found a lovely place in a nearby village that took them from around 2 and a half, and I started him 2 mornings a week building up to 3 and he now does 3 school days and I'm going to send him to the school it feeds into - which I wouldn't have heard about if it wasn't for this wonderful preschool.

Sometimes you do something where you think, god, this is not for my benefit, its for yours, and if you are going to make it hell for me a sodding well wont bother. It sounds like you are in that zone and there's no shame in feeling like that but just to reassure you, it will pass and sorry if I sound trite but really it will. And I wouldn't necessarily say it gets "worse" at age 3, just different, all children are different anyway but other things get easier like they might be in a booster seat and be able to do their own seatbelt up so you dont have to hoik them squirming and protesting into a stage 2 seat, and they can get dressed themselves and might actually be willing, that kind of thing. Different for every child but certain milestones happen so hang in there!

I feel your pain, when DS was 2 I had a DD of 6 months and would gladly hide in the house rather than face the nightmare of shopping/crossing roads/having tea with friends.

He did enjoy certain things though, like toddlers and soft play, but you have to try everything two or three times to find out if he likes it. All the outdoors stuff sounds good as they have so much energy.

It is tempting to stay in the house if he is good there, but you risk him becoming over excited and being a nightmare every time you go out because he is not used to it.

And yes, DS is 3 and can have worse tantrums than he did at 2, but they are MUCH less frequent. Also, when he is 3 he can start nursery and it won't be just you and him every minute of every day, which I think can be the most tiring and demoralising thing no matter how much you love them.