to expect my husband not to swim 5 nights a week?

[mumistired]

I am 9 weeks pregnant and am feeling a bit brittle, tired and sick. I work full time and we have a very lovely, but exhausting two and a half year old daughter. Am I being unreasonable to expect my husband to stay in and be fat and sick with me from time to time? He tells me I'm being irrational (of course I'm irrational- it's part of it, surely- does he not remember last time?!). I find myself alone quite a bit, as we only moved here a year ago for work, and my family is in a whole other country. Is it not ok to be unreasonable til 14 weeks or so? the failure to understand makes me upset. I get it why women like to have kids together- it's that EMPATHY that the men just can't do sometimes!
Any thoughts welcome.

Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm a swimming pool widow- it's not like he's out sinking pints; he swims at least 5 nights a week..

YANBU

My DH jogs in his lunch hour and in summer gets up at 7am to go cycling so that his time at home is free for spending with me and the DC.

It is utterly selfish when one parent is out more than one or two evenings a week.

Do you share the housework?

Totally selfish. When does he see your dd?

YANBU at all. DH likes to go the gym but restricts it to two or three times a week, fitting it in between errands usually so he'd be out anyway. If I think i've not seen him for a while I'll say so and he will knock it off for a while. It's all about give and take! Can't he get up earlier and go before work?

He is shirking and dumping on you. Point this out to him! YANBU.

I am 36 weeks pregnant and my DH goes swimming, to the gym or plays tennis six days a week. I cant say I mind at the moment as I spend a lot of time on the phone as I live away from my family and friends but I imagine once the baby I arrives I will resent it.

Does your husband work or is he a SAHD? If he works full time too he is taking the royal piss! Fancy being out five nights a week when you have a two and a half year old, and both of you work! Wouldn't happen in my house. Nothing to do with you being pregnant. Judgement delivered.

How long does he swim for? I swim everyday but only for an hour.

Sometimes early morning before work and sometimes in the evening.

Weekends it's 6am.

He might need that gap between work and home. Just as you do.

After his swim, he should have DD while you either do your thing or rest.

Angels (lovely Christamssy name btw!), you say "He might need that gap between work and home" but the thing is OP isn't getting that gap between work and home. I've found that once kids came along, the gap between work and home was a luxury that went out the window!

I understand that Nesta, OP really needs that gap.

If he really needs his swim (and I can understand why he does). It's soooooo peaceful just swimming up and down letting your mind wander wherever it chooses.

But he has to reciprocate by taking over while OP does her thing.

He should swim every second day and take over all the duties while Op has time to herself.

Yes, I love my name. Have a country, rustic plaque above my computer with the words "If we were all a little more like Angels......

The world would be a heavenly place"

Two little naive angels floating with a heart in between them.

Have had it for years and love it to death.

He could alternate and do one morning swim, one evening swim? Granted if the pool is like our local one the choice of adult swimming sessions is dire - by the time they've fitted in OAP, women only, disabled swim, disabled kyaking, family swims with the waterslide on, one-armed Russian lesbian swim, school sessions, blind water polo and whatever other groups they're catering for that week... but we do have a very stable early morning slot I go to on occasions in addition to the evening slots.

YANBU

I have exactly the same. My dh is out training 5 nights a week,including Sunday night .

He works full time and I work 30odd hours a week and we have a 4yr old.

It's really frustrating!!! I'd really like to go out and do something myself, but when?? If I do, then we just don't see each other.

I think he's selfish, but then if I say anything he thinks I'm selfish!!!