..... to not want my son to be given sparklers?

[Fryib]

Hes 3.3 and we are going to a friends where the kids are going to play, do some craft stuff (think gluing, glitter, painting etc) and then friend mentioned shes bought some sparklers.

My two Dc re 3.3 and 15 months, so I said thanks but I dont want him having one. Her dcs are 3 and 15months and oldest will have one.

Am i pfb?

It is really weird actually. 364 days of the year we warn out DC not to touch matches, and that the oven is burny burny.

And one day of the year we hand them a sparkler that is hot enough to melt gold and tell them to wave it about.

i had a halloween party Saturday just gone and we had sparklers. DS2 was the youngest at 3yrs and he was fine with them, needed only telling before we gave them out to hold it away from his face and when it was finished to put it in the water.

I think as long as there are clear instructions they will be fine

I think it's all about educating children to behave appropriately in different situations. We take risks when the benefits- fun being one of the- outweigh the consequences.

You are not going to ask your child to touch the sparkler and burn themselves, you're going to say "hold the end carefully, don't wave it near anyone, and don't touch it because it will burn you".

Just because you don't touch the oven doesn't mean you can't have a sparkler safely- I don't touch my oven either but I love sparklers and havn't burnt myself yet- I have accidently burnt myself on the oven though.

Has anyone any statistics on the number of people injured by sparklers every year? I would be prepared to bet it's so small as to be non-existent.

Sparklers are on eof the joys of childhood. The only dangerous bit is the hot wire - train them to drop the wire into a bucket of water the minute it's finished, and stop being so wet!

No,the only dangerous bit isn't the hot wire. The sparks can cause burns too. I provided an example earlier,and it's not the only one.

I never held a sparkler as a child,that was my choice btw,and yet somehow I still managed to have a fun and enjoyable childhood.

Yes, but the parents of the 136 children burnt when using sparklers were presumably taking care of their children and cautioning them to hold them at arms length.

For me the important part of that statistic is not 136 out of 60 million, but the high percentage of under 5s.

Over 70% of children hurt by sparklers were under 5yo which brings me to the conclusion that they are not suitable for 3yos.

My DC are incidentally 6 and 8yo and will be allowed sparklers (at NYE, we don't have Guy Fawkes here ). I wouldn't give them to younger dc though.

"Yes, but the parents of the 136 children burnt when using sparklers were presumably taking care of their children and cautioning them to hold them at arms length."

Ibet they weren't you know. Not all parents are thoughtful and sensible or sober.

DD (also 3) will not be having a sparkler tonight.

Mainly because this advert used to terrify me when I was a kid

We have got her some glow sticks as a compromise though. She can have sparklers when she's older.

The statistic 136 out of 60 million only works if you assume every single member of the population will have a sparkler and they are all equally likely to hurt themselves.

What you really need to know is how many under 5s are allowed them, and how many of those get injured. I would reckon it's a substantially higher percentage, supervised or otherwise.

I wouldn't let DS have one for a good while yet (he's 18 months and not really given to standing still and doing as he's told), but it has to be up to the parent in the end. If you are willing to take the risk then that's up to you.

No, what you really need to know is how many of the 136 injuries happened to a child who was properly supervised by an attentive sober adult.

And how many were caused when a child was actually holding a sparker, rather than being hurt by a sparkler held by an older person - the only remotely risky "sparkler situation" I have ever seen was when som over excited teeagers were waving them round without thinking.

AnneTwacky you're right, I remember the bonfire night glow sticks being a much greater novelty than sparklers!

We don't have a garden so there will be no decision to make, but I don't think I'd let my DCs use sparklers until they were at least 5, and even then it would be in a wide open space, far apart, one at a time, with gloves and thick clothing!

(I always wonder why, if sparklers need to be held at arm's length, the handle part isn't a lot longer?)

Last year my 2 year old DD held a sparkler with me, so we both held it together. She's very good though and listened to me. My DS I doubt even at age 2 whether I'd let him do the same though, as he has a very different personality. This year I'll probably still hold it with my DD again. I feel more comfortable but she does love them. I think allowing her to hold one alone will be age 5 or older though.

YANBU to not want to give your child a sparkler though, my niece picked up the wrong end last night and burnt her finger, albeit my brother and his wife are far more relaxed about risk than me. She's 4. Can't quite gather how it happened as it was an fb status update.

And do remember that a burnt finger is not a disaster!

Elf and safety gone mad :o do we really want to remove all risk from our childrens lives. Lets stop them riding bikes, climbing trees or even playing rough sports because one might get hurt. As for conkers no no no not without safety googles.

He might not even want to hold one - I got given one once, was terrified, bawled my eyes out and never again - I won't even hold one these days because for some reason, they scare the shit out of me.

its not about the age its about the child. You get young 3s and more "mature" (wrong word) 3s.

My son had one when he was 3.5 and he was fine, but then he is also used to holding lit incense and I knew I could trust him.

Give it a go and see how he acts with it, tell him he must stand still not walk off or run just watch. Tell him if gets scared or feels unsure to drop it in a bucket.

Im sure hel love it, and the fact you are trusting him to do something a bit more grown up

"364 days of the year we warn out DC not to touch matches"

No, 365 days of the year, I remind my DC not to play around with matches. They are allowed to touch matches, when they are striking them, carefully, with my help, to light a candle. Because it's beautiful, we enjoy the light, and I think learning to handle hot things carefully is a good life skill.

We will take a similar approach with sparklers. However, I think the OP is perfectly entitled to say "no" if she genuinely feels she can't keep BOTH her children safe. We've only used them when DH and I have both been available - one child each - bucket of damp soil to stick the used ones in - don't take eyes off child for one moment. DDs are now 5 and 8 and we've had sparklers for a couple of years.

At that level, I think the risk is worth taking. Just like with the candles. Or learning to bake in the oven.

A woman from the fire brigade gave a little talk at a stay and play session I was at. The photos of injuries from sparklers were pretty horrific. She said it's against the law to give sparklers to children under 5.

Direct.gov page says similar

My dd still remebers burning her finger on a cake tin when she was helping me bake at the age of about 3 or 4. Should she not have been helping because of the risk?

You might need to shout Smithagain, your voice of common sense is likely to be drowned out . It's risk management that is important and I'd like my dcs to enjoy sparklers as I did when I was a child.

If we remove risks then we are often putting our children in greater danger. Ds (3.11) will be having a sparkler, at an organised display, away from other people and with 2 adults supervising him. We've been talking about sparklers and safety and he's been talking about other hot things in the house, inlcuding candles and matches.

I make the kids STAND STILL while holding sparklers, so that they don't burn each other or trip onto a lit sparkler.

And put spent ones straight into a bucket.

Once again,people who aren't comfortable with their young children holding sparklers do not want to remove all risk from their lives.

I'm not accusing anyone of being a bad parent because they allow them to do so.That's fine,if you're comfortable with it then that's perfectly fine,but really the children who aren't allowed to hold a sparkler aren't being deprived,or wrapped in cotton wool because they aren't allowed to hold a sparkler.

Now personally I don't think it's a risk that I'd want to take,but each to their own.
Baking and cooking are lifeskills and are therefore,imho,much more important and worth the risks involved as there's a much greater payoff than there is with a sparkler.

Not at all.

I was about 5-6 when I first held a sparkler and was scared then.

Much to young at 3 and 15 months.

I don't know.

I let all mine have them from about 3yrs I think. If you watch them they are unlikely to hurt themselves and sparklers are so lovely to hold.

But it's got to be your choice.