To be ridiculously annoyed with my (normally lovely) mother?

[SuseB]

I am 38+2 with DC3. Have my mother on standby to come over to help with childcare etc when I go into labour. She lives an hour's drive away but has busy and complex life involving church commitments, volunteering, various groups and meetings, etc.

All this week she has been ringing me daily 'just to see how things are'. I am in annoying pre-labour twinge phase and getting very grumpy about it (both other DC born before 39 weeks, so could be any day/time now). AIBU to have said 'I WILL phone you if anything changes', to which she replied 'I'm just trying to plan my day'. Grrrrrrr. I would like to plan my day too, but unfortunately I cannot organise my baby to arrive at a time convenient to avoid clashing with the latest WI meeting. FFS.

Actually, perhaps IABU, but TBH this stage of pregnancy makes me want to bite people!

YABU

YABVU, which, of course, you know..

But it's OK, really.. and as she's your Mum and at some point in time she has been in the same boat, she'll understand.

Good luck.

I can't see that she's doing anything wrong.

YANBU. It's unbelievably irritating, isn't it? I had to assure my Dsis on a daily basis that I would ring her if anything happened, as she phoned every day from about 38 weeks to ask if I'd gone into labour yet (I went 10 days over). On one notable occasion, she ascertained that I was in Specsavers, chatted about various things for a good ten minutes, then asked "so, any signs yet?" I'm afraid I think I stooped so far as to employ sarcasm in my reply...

YABU but of course she will understand - just tell her how you feel

YABU. I don't think a daily phone call is too much to deal with when she's on standby and probably anxious that she'll let you down by being out when you do need to make 'the call'.

YABVU. Let's hope she's around to take your call. You are lucky that your mother is doing this for you. My mother arrived probably about 2 hours after I had left for hospital, but didn't bother to go and get my son from my friends house until my mother in law arrived 8 hours later!She just sat in my house drinking tea.

YABU, it's fair enough for her to find out if she's going to be needed any time soon - if she went off somewhere and wasn't contactable for the day without having made contact then she'd be unresonable since you want her to be there for childcare.

She'll understand tho, you're bound to be feeling irritable.

YABYU - a caring mother, you lucky thing ! Mine never, ever phoned me to ask if all was well.

YABU and I think you know it really.

Of course I meant YABVU.

YANBU. If your plan is to ring her when you go into labour, why does she think you'll forget. I'd be irritated too.

The thing is, she may say she wants to get her day organised but it could just be her way of validating yet another phone call to check on someone who is clearly a very much loved daughter.

YABU

Good luck SuseB. Impending births make everyone feel a bit jumpy.

I'd bite your tongue if I were you - you'll only regret it if you snap at her.

YANBU. How annoying to have someone asking every day, no matter who it is. Evem if nothing was happening then, doesn't mean it won't later in the day. What happens if she plans her day then has to change it? Is she willing to do that?

As CPL says. All she can actually ascertain is that you're not in labour at that particular moment in time. Just a thought- does she have a mobile? If not, that might explain why she's a bit anxious.

What an absolute cow. Never speak to ehr again.

yABU but so was I when my mother did exactly the same to me at the same time - how on earth can you give her exact times so she can plan her day! YABU, but I UNDERSTAND!!

YABU don't take her for granted, i would have loved my mum to phone me when I was expecting and I'm sure she would have loved to have been able to too.

I know how you feel, my mum was the same. Even though I told her that I would let her know as soon as anything started happening! I know it was only because she cared and was anxious, but I was quite anxious and obviously oversensitive myself and felt a bit as though I was inconveniencing her by not going into labour at the right time. And DC2 was 2 weeks late, so it went on for quite a while...

Just to be clear, I did really appreciate her concern and love her dearly, but when a week overdue I was getting stressed about about nearly everything!

Actually OP I think that YANBU.

You will phone her when you need her.

Also, if she organises her day after a quick phone call in the morning-is she assuming that you won´t need her that day & is then mostly unavailable?

Do you have a back up plan?

Any news?

Seriously, you know you're being VU! Hope it goes well when it happens.

Of course YABU.
By 'planning her day' she just means that if you say to her 'nothing big but I'm getting twinges and think it will be sooon' then she will cancel her plans accordingly and be able to give more notice to her other friends/WI people.

She is putting you first.