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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think half an hour's detention is too long for a 7 yr old?

44 replies

fondant4000 · 04/11/2010 06:18

My daughter has been given half an hour's detention at lunchtime for 'talking in line'.

This is her first term at Junior school, she is a very well-behaved child (yes, I know all parents say that). She likes to please, and is horrified at getting kept in. Last night she was crying and unable to sleep for thinking about it.

She says that she was just answering another child's question and that it's difficult to just not answer. She says there was no warning, and she had no idea the punishment wd be half an hour's detention.

My point is that she says she will be kept in for half an hour, during which time she is not allowed to do anything except sit.

Regardless of whether she deserves the punishment, it does seem an awfully long time for a 7 year old in Year 3 to sit still.

Would it be unreasonable of me to talk to the teacher and ask, at least for the first time, for it to be reduced to 10-15 minutes?

TBH it seems completely dispropotionate and counterproductive to do this at all, but I do understand the school has rules.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 04/11/2010 07:31

Come back and tell us the whole truth Grin
Then we can all be righteously indignant, or not.

IAPJJLPJ · 04/11/2010 07:41

My ds primary does FULL lunchtime detentions - starting in reception class. My son has had them and as much as I don't agree with it I will support the school as well as making my feelings about it clear.

Animation · 04/11/2010 07:44

Yes I think it's a good idea to talk to the teacher - if for nothing more than letting her know that you're watching.

If she WAS attenpting to make an example of your daughter, I doubt she'll do it again - you clocked her.

Goblinchild · 04/11/2010 07:46
Grin Really, Animation? If that happens to me, I tend to just file it as background information that often explains the child's attitude and behaviour and gives it a context.

'I'll get my mum on you...'

Animation · 04/11/2010 07:51

Are you a teacher Goblinchild - if so, is that technigue (- a half hour detention for a 7 year old) encouraged in Teacher Training?

What is it supposed to achieve?

seeker · 04/11/2010 08:05

Animation - do you ever question your child's version of what goes on at school?

Goblinchild · 04/11/2010 08:08

No, I wouldn't use 30 mins of sitting time for a detention. Last time, we did leaf collection.
Sometimes we wash paintpots or clean stuff.
10 mins silence is enough.
But I won't be bullied by parents either.

Goblinchild · 04/11/2010 08:09

My teacher training ended in 1984, so I can't remember much of it either.

fondant4000 · 04/11/2010 08:09

I promise to report back so that you can either be outraged on my behalf or dismiss me as pampered parent Grin

This really has helped. It's not going to do anyone any good to challenge the school - rules is rules. I just want to understand so I can do my bit.

OP posts:
GiddyPickle · 04/11/2010 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 04/11/2010 08:15

And remeber - 7 year olds are REALLY unreliable witnesses. Find out what really happened and what the punishment really is. I have on occasion made myself look a complete pillock when I have forgotten this simple rule!

GiddyPickle · 04/11/2010 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ForMashGetSmash · 04/11/2010 09:34

YABU at my dds school she was kept in at playtime for not finishing her work..DD is only in year 2 abd just turned 6. It DID bother her....but when I spoke to her teacher about it, I realised that they need to learn consequence.

cory · 04/11/2010 09:36

at least your dd is being honest with you

I am finding out now about detentions that my ds did two or three years ago...

FranSanDisco · 04/11/2010 09:44

This happens all the time to my ds (yr 3). People talk to him and HE gets in trouble and funnily enough these childen get off scot free. He seems to forget I don't button up the back Grin.

laweaselmys · 04/11/2010 09:49

I got detention a lot at that age. Never did my homework on a Wednesday.

I just had to do the homework over lunch. Totally fair IMO.

I agree with the teachers punishment, your DD did something wrong and it is up to her teacher to decide the punishment. YABU

Goblinchild · 05/11/2010 07:50

So what happened OP?
Was it half an hour, sitting in silence?

buttonmoon78 · 05/11/2010 08:00

Yeah, c'mon. We deserve the truth!

lancaster · 05/11/2010 08:12

Detention for a primary aged child is unreasonable whatever the crime.

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