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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

if I cut all the top buttons off all of DS's school shirts?

24 replies

TotorosOcarina · 03/11/2010 19:33

He is 5 and he HATES his shirt collar being tight, it took an age to get him comftable with a tie so we leave the top button undone but tighten his tie enough to cover the fact IYKWIM.

EVERYTIME he has games or PE his teacher does his top button up and as soon as he comes out of school he runs to me and asks me to undo it, he can't undo it him self and even if he would, he wouldn't go against the teacher after she had buttoned it.

So AIBU to take all the top buttons off his shirt so she can't do his button up when she sees its undone?

Sure at only 5 it doen't matter if its undone, surely if it irriates him then its going to distract him from learning and its better for him to feel comftable?

OP posts:
Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 03/11/2010 19:34

And he has told her he doesn't like it being done up and she said it 'has to be' Hmm

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 03/11/2010 19:35

Cut them off I would..ridiculous to make a 5 year old wear a tie full stop

jangly · 03/11/2010 19:36

Is there room to move the top button over a bit so the collar was looser?

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 03/11/2010 19:37

im not good with a needle jangly, would rather get rid!

OP posts:
Tidey · 03/11/2010 19:39

Agree with usualsuspect. This is why I'm glad DS's school has polo shirt and sweatshirt uniform. Whether the poor lad's top button is done up has nothing to do with how much he learns and if his tie covers the fact it's undone, they have no reason to quibble about it.

tibni · 03/11/2010 19:39

I would just take the top buttons off.

PlentyOfPockets · 03/11/2010 19:39

Poor little thing! Yes, cut the buttons off.

jangly · 03/11/2010 19:40

Grin I don't blame you. Buttons are fiddly little sods to sew on.

ginodacampoismydh · 03/11/2010 20:01

yes cut them off, dds teacher tryed to have hers forcibly done up for her school photo the other week and she was in tears about it when i collected her.

she did make me laugh as she shouted at teacher through gritted teeth ( more like that of a bull dog than a child) and a screwed up nose to "gerorff and leave me alone" but the teacher told her "she was not having it and it must be done up"

i had not realised dd had won as school pics came through with top button undone, pigtails a little scewiff though, must have occured during the scuffle.

rpickett · 03/11/2010 20:19

Surely a tie for a 5yr old is a health and safety risk?

rpickett · 03/11/2010 20:19

YANBU BTW

LynetteScavo · 03/11/2010 20:22

I'm curious about a class of 5 year olds doing up ties after PE. Does the teacher do up all the ties? Shock

And yes, cut off the button. Even my 11 year old can't bear hit top button done up.

bandgeek · 03/11/2010 20:22

I hate having a top button done up, it chokes me, so I don't blame a 5 year old for feeling the same!

bandgeek · 03/11/2010 20:23

Also, My DS's school have polo shirts as well as shirt and ties so on gym days I make sure he is wearing a polo shirt to save the hassle

moonminmama · 03/11/2010 20:35

My Ds school is the same bandgeek. Shirts and (elasticated) tie or polo shirt. We send Ds.in polo shirt on pe days.

I teach in a secondary school and the focus for this half term is ties and making sure they are tied.properly. The rule is that as long as the top button is covered it doesn't matter if the button is fastened or not- they look equally as smart. To expect a 5 yo to do this is silly.

Yadnbu cut them off!

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 04/11/2010 12:00

They can wear polos in summer but winter uniform is shirt and tie.

DH took DSs button off this AM :)

OP posts:
emptyshell · 04/11/2010 12:04

I ask them if they want it done up or not, if not, and if they've got a tie, I just bodge it under the tie so it looks done up if the head or anything walks into the room!

And yes, when I've had to cover PE with year1 kids who had a shirt and tie school uniform - I have had to do up 30 ties at the end of the lesson (and I'm shite at doing them, can only do them if I stand behind the kid so it's as if I'm doing my own up)!

elphabadefiesgravity · 04/11/2010 12:05

The ties at my children's school are on elastic. They all have to have their top buttons done up and the teacher helps them, I make sure the shirts I buy are not too tight around the collar.

What I do think is ridiculous is that a couple of local Catholic primaries even have their nursery 3 year olds in shirt and ties. Ds had polo shirts at that stage only moving to shirts in reception.

RiverOfSleep · 04/11/2010 12:08

Yanbu glad you cut them off. If school complains sew them back on really loosely with elastic Wink

jonesy71 · 04/11/2010 12:19

Cut 'em orf !

Poor lad, what a nasty cow she sounds. At my DSs school they let them dress themselves, don't help at all.

I can always tell when he's had PE by the back to front shorts, inside-out shirt, and shoes on the wrong feet! They just let them get on with it.

I still like to ask though, 'Darling, did you have PE today?'

'Nope'

'Sure?'

'Nope'

Grin
ForMashGetSmash · 04/11/2010 12:23

God...my DD has been in a collar and tie since she was THREE! Sad

GrimmaTheNome · 04/11/2010 12:27

I was going to say the same as River.

goinggetstough · 04/11/2010 14:24

I second RoS's idea - sew the buttons on with shearing elastic. It makes them easy to do up and also do the cuffs the same way so they don't have to be undone at all!
Shirts may not be ideal when they are little but its the school uniform at this school. So on a positive slant if they are attached with elastic the DCs are learning another fine motor skill and following the school uniform rules!!!

earwicga · 04/11/2010 14:41

YANBU and I like the thinking - great idea.

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